“I didn’t hate Watchmen, but I didn’t love it either,” says a longtime HE reader who managed to snag a ticket to the London premiere, which ended a couple of hours ago.

“I’m not a cinema snob and can take a decent loud popcorn film in my stride as much as an animated Israeli documentary or the latest from Shane Meadows. I read one early Watchmen review (if you can call it that — it was more of an ejaculation of words) that seemed to praise the movie purely on the basis that it existed, and that any fan of the comic books should be grateful that a movie of Watchmen simply exists.

“I don’t think this is good enough, and is definitely not the right attitude to take. I think anyone who sees Watchmen, whether a fan previously or not, [can’t help but] walk away disappointed that it didn’t live up to its potential.

“What I want more than anything in my popcorn movies is a bit of consistency. I’m led to believe that the big blue Dr. Manhattan is the only truly superhero in the film, but in that case, why are all the other Watchmen able to leap like agile cats and fight with the power of ten men? I understand that this is an alternate universe where Ozymandias is the smartest person in the world, but just because he’s pretty clever doesn’t mean it makes sense when towards the end of the movie he comes accompanied by a new breed of big Antarctic cat with huge fucking ears.

“All I ask for is consistency in the world which we are seeing, and the movie will work. If this stuff is going to make sense, that’s fine — explain it. Tell me why he has a big cat, don’t just throw it in there.”