There’s a legit transcript of Benicio del Toro‘s visit to the Howard Stern Show last Thursday morning, provided by Here are the YouTube recordings: #1, #2, #3 and #4.

Hard info #1: Benicio “said he was going to do a movie with Scorsese” — a presumed reference to the dreaded Silence — but that got “pushed.” Hard info #2: Benicio said “the Three Stooges thing”,” which he said is basically “three episodes” stitched together, is “still alive but they don’t have a date for that.” Here’s a portion of the transcript:

“Howard read that Benicio’s father was an ogre. Benicio said he was strict but not an ogre. Howard said he read that Benicio’s father called him gay when he said he wanted to be an actor. Benicio laughed at that. He said his father never called him a fag. Howard said his father wanted him to be a lawyer. Benicio said that’s what all parents want.

“Howard said he can picture Benicio with a 10-inch penis that’s wide. He said that Robin Quivers is 10 times better than Emily Blunt would ever be. Benicio got a laugh out of that. Fred threw in some porn clips where a woman was howling like a dog which made him laugh even more.

“Howard asked Benicio if he did Emily Blunt while he was in costume. Benicio asked him to stop with that. He said he never did anything to her.

“Howard asked Benicio about who he’s dating and what’s going on with that. Benicio said he is dating but he’s not talking about who it is. Howard said when you’re with a chick and you bang her after a couple of weeks, you don’t do other women. Benicio agreed with him but he didn’t sound like he was really behind what he was saying.

“Howard told Benicio he should move on to other women if he’s not that into the chick he’s with. He said that he shouldn’t lead them on. Benicio said you have to be moved by the girl. He said if it doesn’t happen then what do you do. Howard said you move on. Howard asked Robin if she would let Benicio do her for just one night. Robin said she’s not looking for that.

“Howard told Benicio to stick with the Wolfman thing and just drag it out all he can. He said he could do Wolfman vs. Mike Tyson and he’d watch it. He said he doesn’t have to keep doing other things.

“Howard said he’s going to predict that this movie is going to come in at number 1 this weekend. Benicio said the only problem is that it’s rated R. Howard said that shouldn’t be an issue. He said kids will sneak into the movie.

“Howard read a quote from Benicio where he talked about how he has to calm down with women. He read the quote and Benicio said the problem is that he can do his own thing. Benicio said that someone else must have written that. Howard said it was a direct quote. Benicio told him to get it on audio. He said he doesn’t think he ever said that.

“Howard asked Benicio what his game plan is. Benicio told him to collaborate with him. He said he was going to do a movie with Scorsese but that got pushed out. He said the Three Stooges thing is still alive but they don’t have a date for that.

“Howard asked Benicio if he can really play Moe. He said he hasn’t worked on it. Howard told him he thinks that they’re the greatest. He said he read that it was going to be Jim Carrey as Curly and Benicio as Moe. He said that he’s not sure that Jim will commit to gaining the weight for the part. Benicio said he hasn’t spoken to him about it. Robin asked who was going to play Larry Fine. It was going to be Sean Penn. Benicio said he thinks that’s a good cast.

Benicio said that he knows it won’t be like the original. He said that “all due respect, my movie” — a reference to The Wolfman — “wasn’t as good as the original. Howard said he has to think it’s better. Benicio said he really doesn’t. Howard told Benicio that he would have flung your fuckin’ ass out of there today if he had screwed up the movie. Robin said that she actually fell in love with the character in the movie.

“Howard asked how you do a Three Stooges movie. Benicio said that it was going to be a remake of some of their short movies. He said he didn’t have exact answers for what it would be about. He said that he would be his own Moe and not be doing an impression of the real Moe. Howard said he just has to have the essence of Moe.

“Gary came in and said that Benicio had to go. He said that they gave them 10 extra minutes. Gary said that he had to go somewhere else. Howard said he has the next movie idea for Benicio: Wolfman vs. The Three Stooges.” “That’s a good idea,” Benicio said. Howard asked, “Should I be the next host of American Idol?” “Definitely,” said Benicio.