I realize that these photos could be justifiably accused of being relatively boring. From a certain perspective. No Cruella stuff, no In The Heights, no Amazon delivery driver, no uppity white lady, no hair-trigger Victor Lazlo intrigues…none of that. But they’re part of what the day has been about.
On or about 5.20 Cannes Film Festival honcho Thierry Fremaux promised that a “planetary blockbuster” would premiere during the 2021 Cote d’Azur gathering (7.6 through 7.17).
The presumption or at least the hope, given Cannes’ rep for (mostly) semi-classy selections, was that the secret film might be the latest Bonder, No Time To Die. Or West Side Story. Or at least something half cool.
Then came Elsa Keslassy‘s deflating, appalling report that the “planetary blockbuster” will be Justin Lin‘s F9…wonderful! Robotic macho muscle-car CG bullshit on the Croisette…just what the movie doctor ordered.
Set to open stateside on 6.25, F9 opened worldwide on 5.19, and has so far grossed $256 million, including $206 million in China alone.
China is the all-time arch-enemy now — creator of the lab-leaked Covid-19 virus that killed millions, and also the huge economic engine that ensures that empty crap movies like F9 will continue to dominate.
From “The Science Suggests a Wuhan Lab Leak: The Covid-19 pathogen has a genetic footprint that has never been observed in a natural coronavirus,” by The Wall Street Journal‘s Steven Quay and Richard Muller:
“Proponents of zoonotic origin must explain why the novel coronavirus, when it mutated or recombined, happened to pick its least favorite combination, the double CGG. Why did it replicate the choice the lab’s gain-of-function researchers would have made?
“Yes, it could have happened randomly, through mutations. But do you believe that? At the minimum, this fact — that the coronavirus, with all its random possibilities, took the rare and unnatural combination used by human researchers — implies that the leading theory for the origin of the coronavirus must be laboratory escape.”
In a 6.6 rave, Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman is claiming that Craig Gillespie‘s Cruella “may be the best movie of the year so far.” Okay, maybe. My dislike of flamboyant big-screen wickedness or perversity is fairly acute; ditto my loathing of origin story films. Hence I still haven’t watched it, and as I sit here I’m dreading the forthcoming experience with all my heart.
On top of which one can’t help but wonder why Cruella has a 74% Rotten Tomatoes rating along with a 59% from Metacritic. Clearly it’s doing something wrong by the sights of several critics.
That’s all I’m able to say at this point. I’m a staunch Gleiberman fan, but in this case my inclination is to trust Anthony Lane more.
By the standards of contemporary or soon-to-occur space travel (including Elon Musk‘s proposed trips to Mars), going on an Allan B. Shepard quickie space voyage (11 minutes) sounds a tad underwhelming. On 7.20 Jeff Bezos will “do a Shepard” aboard a spacecraft made by his company, Blue Origin. No offense but if I were Bezos I would want do a John Glenn — three orbits around the globe, space fireflies, a Pacific Ocean slashdown.
