Three days ago, the N.Y. Times posted a story by Nicole Hong titled “Inside One Company’s Struggle to Get All Its Employees Vaccinated.” The subhead reads, “At an optical business in New York City, it took months of coaxing, a cash bonus and a weekly testing mandate to persuade 90 percent of the staff to get a coronavirus vaccine.”

Every third or fourth paragraph is infuriating. Here’s a taste:

“John Bonizio, 63, the owner of Metro Optics, was ecstatic when he learned in January that optometrists and their staff members would be among the first groups eligible for the vaccine. During the chaotic early days of the rollout, Mr. Bonizio found a hospital with plenty of vaccine appointments available and offered to schedule them for every employee.

“About half of the staff members rushed to get a shot. But because his employees interact with dozens of patients and customers each day, he wanted everyone to be vaccinated. When he called the employees to ask why they were hesitant, their answers foreshadowed the resistance that would unfold in the coming months around the country.

“Some people said they did not trust the government, citing false conspiracy theories that the vaccines contained tracking microchips planted by the authorities. Others noted that the vaccines had not yet been formally approved by the Food and Drug Administration and worried that getting vaccinated would interfere with their ability to have children. (Scientists have said there is no evidence that the vaccines affect fertility or pregnancy.)

“One employee said she was concerned because she thought a vaccine had caused the characters in the film I Am Legend to turn into zombies. People opposed to vaccines have circulated that claim about the movie’s plot widely on social media. But the plague that turned people into zombies in the movie was caused by a genetically reprogrammed virus, not by a vaccine.

“Talking to employees about the misinformation they saw spreading on social media was like walking on eggshells, said Brett Schumacher, 38, the company’s general manager. Trying to persuade a skeptical co-worker to trust the government and health officials in the middle of the workday can be awkward.

“’We do have one person who is just anti-vax, period,’ Mr. Schumacher said. ‘I didn’t get into the full reasons behind it because that kind of stuff just makes my blood boil.'”

Hong spoke to a Metro Optics employee named Tiara Felix, who said she’ll leave her job if faced with a vaccine mandate. “There’s no choice,” Felix told Hong. “I’ll have to quit.”

In short, Tiara Felix is rather stupid. There’s no other term for it, and there’s no known cure.

Variety‘s Adam Vary to The Suicide Squad director James Gunn: “With Peacemaker and The Suicide Squad both on HBO Max, you’re right at the heart of the massive changes the industry is going through with the rise of streaming. People don’t even quite know what a movie is anymore, or where they’re going to get exhibited. How do you see yourself fitting into all that moving forward?”

Gunn to Vary [following “long pause”]: “I don’t really care that much. I really just care about whatever the project is in front of me. The Suicide Squad is made to be seen first and foremost on a big screen [but] I think it’s gonna work just fine on television.

“Listen, movies don’t last because they’re seen on the big screen. Movies last because they’re seen on television. Jaws isn’t still a classic because people are watching it in theaters. I’ve never seen Jaws in a movie theater. It’s one of my favorite movies.

“I…don’t want the theatrical experience to die. I don’t know if that is possible, but we also don’t know what’s going to happen. We’ve still got COVID, because people won’t get vaccinated, which, you know, they should. Hopefully — hopefully — that will not be a big deal to us in a year. And if that’s the case, what’s going to happen? We don’t know. Nobody knows.

“I care, because I would rather have people be able to go to the movies. But also, if they don’t, I’m not going to go slit my wrists. I don’t care that much. [Laughs]”

Hollywood Elsewhere feels the same way, after a fashion. I don’t want big-time movie exhibition to die, but when I think of the theatres that I really care about, I think of the Landmark chain and what the Arclight chain used to be, and of course the special theatres in Telluride and Cannes. Because I basically hate the gladiator movies that are occupying and dominating the magaplex stadiums these days. You go to these places to get thrashed and pounded.

Which is why it felt so weird to watch Stillwater at the AMC Century City recently. I was muttering to myself, “Jeez, I’m watching a carefully measured, character-driven adult drama inside theatre #9, which almost exclusively shows animal-level, wham-splat ear and eye–pounders…odd feeling. Hey, where’s Amanda Knox?”

Gunn is right, of course, about certain well-reviewed movies and various classics of the past enduring via streaming platforms. Streaming is obviously how all great movies are being kept alive these days, as well as providing a platform for fresh discovery.

Yes, the exhibition industry has been losing steam for a few years now, in part because theatres have become a digital ghetto for noisy, high-impact, lowest-common-denominator fare.

But until late ’19, exhibition was still the primary place where all movies began. Theatres were the primary default launch pad. Big-screen exposure and promotion established their presence and cultural impact. Theatres mattered less, but they still mattered.

I’m somewhere between depressed and horrified by the idea of a movie realm without theatres. And not just my kind of theatres. As much as I despise the gladiator experience, I want it to survive, ironically, in order to keep exhibition going in general.

In short, I might care about theatres more than James Gunn does. Unless I’m misunderstanding him.

Three days ago (8.5) the Gotham Awards announced that their acting awards will be (a) gender neutral and (b) will focus on lead and supporting — i.e., one in each category. I suggested that it would be fairer to male and female actors if they would hand out four such awards — two lead, two supporting.

On Friday, 8.6, I came upon a hill.com report along similar lines. The headline read that that “AMA doctors, experts recommend removing sex designation from birth certificates,” adding that “the move would protect against discrimination based on sex.”

Yesterday (8.7) Indiewire‘s Ben Travers and Libby Hill posted a discussion in which they called for other award-giving organizations (Oscars, Emmys) to also adopt a gender-neutral mindset.

Why exactly? The idea, apparently, is to make acting categories less discriminatory as far as transgender and non-binary-identifying actors are concerned.

The fourteenth paragraph in the Indiewire article, written by Hill, reads as follows: “As our collective understanding of identity grows, more and more individuals are opening up about their own relationships with gender and identity. This year’s crop of Emmy nominees featured Mj Rodriguez, who became the first openly transgender performer to be nominated in a lead acting category for her work on FX’s Pose, as well as several openly non-binary performers, including Emma Corrin, nominated in lead actress in a drama series for their work on Netflix’s The Crown and Carl Clemons-Hopkins, nominated in supporting actor in a comedy series for their performance on HBO Max’s Hacks.”

Journalists are encouraged to avoid stating what I’m about to state, but outside of your elite big-city woke communities there are tens of millions of people who feel — perhaps unfairly, perhaps incorrectly — that there are certain indisputable, day-to-day, biological distinctions that line up with conventional notions about males and females, and that such men and women, which is to say those who are comfortable with their gender and who identify as binary (including L, G & Bs) constitute over 99% of the population.

That’s not to deny or ignore the rights of transgender and non-binary persons, but to offer a sense of proportion and perspective.

Many people who live outside the Kingdom of Woke earnestly believe that last April’s Steven Soderbergh Oscar show was irksome and bizarre and bore little if any resemblance to the Oscar telecasts of yore, and in fact seemed to exist on a whole different planet. These same Average Joes will almost certainly regard the shedding of male and female acting categories as curious, and the bulk of these head-scratchers will probably call such a decision deranged.

Due respect to transgender and non-binary actors, but the vast majority of the country thinks that wokeness is a form of detached thinking and wackazoid progressivism, and if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences wants to double down on the Steven Soderbergh effect, they should definitely adopt gender-neutral acting awards.

Please tell me what I’m missing here. I’m not trying to be dismissive or an obstructionist of some kind. It’s just that I seriously feel that progressive elites have lost their bearings.

In an 8.6 HE riff titled “McCarthy Coolly Dismisses Knox Beef,” I linked to Janelle Riley’s 8.4 Variety interview with Stillwater director-cowriter Tom McCarthy.

McCarthy responded to the gist of Amanda Knox‘s complaint about Stillwater being fundamentally based on her 2008 murder conviction and subsequent exoneration, and her not having been consulted prior to filming. McCarthy also mentioned that her statements were somewhat undermined by the fact that she hadn’t yet seen the film.

Yesterday Knox posted a series of tweets about the McCarthy interview [excerpts after the jump], and made some reasonable points. However, she also tweeted the following:

HE response to friendo: “Seeing Stillwater would not be an ‘ideal date night’ and that’s why she still hasn’t seen it yet? But she would be amenable to seeing it, she said earlier, if Focus would invite her to a screening. The date night remark was playful, but she invites skepticism.”

Friendo to HE: “You have to admit that it’s hilarious when, in being asked at the outset in the new interview what his inspiration for the movie was, McCarthy says, ‘One inspiration was a relative of mine who had a fractious relationship with her father. I asked if she minded talking to me about it.” This after previously not being afraid to openly and preemptively acknowledge the Knox case was a springboard, before he had to worry [that Knox might be] endangering his Oscar campaign. Now Knox is incidental, he claims, while asserting that he was inspired by a friend. That kind of covering-one’s-ass (publicly and badly) is the hallmark of a really insubstantial person, or a scaredy-cat on the run.”

Earlier today I asked a colleague about finding sources of supplemental income outside the film industry, given the possibility of a diminished ad-revenue situation that may manifest in three or four months. Maybe.

The colleague mentioned this and that option, and then added the following: “The good news for you is that many of these jobs do criminal background checks, but not reputation checks. That will be helpful for you, as this can be an opportunity for you to start fresh with new attitudes and a new perspective on life and those who are different from you. In these trying times we can find golden moments of opportunity — we simply have to know how to identify them.

“Being brought low is often the first step in standing back up better than ever, and I do hope that you meet your coming challenges with honor and that you allow your change in circumstance to be a transformational experience. I believe that no one is born bad, that they over the years accumulate dirt and scratches just like a film print. But just like a film print, I believe we can all be restored to a more pristine state that will allow our original colors and images to vividly manifest as they always should have.”

HE response to colleague: “Thanks for all this, [name]. Thanks for taking the time to think about this. Wise and knowledgable stuff. I appreciate your experience. So you seem to basically believe that while I wasn’t ‘born bad’ I have more or less become that, and that I could become less of a judgmental asshole by working at [jobs that involve mingling with Average Joes]. Because working with Average Joes will instill humility, having been ‘brought low’, and broaden my horizons. I will thereby learn to appreciate the value of tedious mindsets, vulgarity, stupidity, ignorance, terrible taste in movies and music and clothing, the joys of junk food and offering one’s allegiance to Donald Trump.

“Maybe you’re right. I’m certainly looking forward to understanding these things more fully, and becoming a better person for that. I sound like I’m being facetious, I realize, but I do deeply appreciate you taking the time to think about this and consider all the angles. Seriously. Thanks. If I can return the favor in some way, don’t hesitate to ask. Thanks.”

A friend saw Leisl Tommy and Jennifer Hudson‘s Respect (UA Releasing, 8.13) last summer, and his basic assessment was “mildly okay Aretha Franklin biopic but with an excellent lead performance from Hudson, or at least excellent singing.”

So far Respect has managed a 63% Metacritic rating. You have to ignore the Rotten Tomatoes rating for now — too positive, obviously unreliable.

Jam Report‘s Doug Jamieson: “A paint-by-the-numbers biography…saved by the magnificent performance of Jennifer Hudson, impeccable production values, and the jukebox soundtrack.” Variety‘s Peter Debruge: “Flattering but flat, this overly respectful biopic steers clear of revealing the traumas that shaped the soul legend.”

Matthew Belloni‘s “What I’m Hearing” newsletter has mentioned a forthcoming biopic in which Jennifer Lawrence would play Sue Mengers, the ’60s, ’70s and early ’80s Hollywood super-agent.

Mengers was impersonated by Dyan Cannon in The Last of Sheila (’73) and literally portrayed by Bette Midler in I’ll Eat You Last, the 2013 B’way by John Logan. Logan has also written the screenplay for the JLaw project, which Paolo Sorrentino is attached to direct.

I’m not saying there’s a problem with JLaw-as-Mengers, but you have to at least consider the age and physical disparities. Born on 8.15.90, JLaw seems a bit young to portray a 40ish Mengers, who was born in ’32 and hit her professional peak in the ’70s. Midler was in her late ’60s when she played Mengers on stage, and nobody said boo. Plus Midler and Mengers were the exact same height — 5’1″ — while Lawrence is 5’9″.

The main point is that JLaw’s $20 million salary doesn’t seem commensurate with a character-driven biopic of an agent who reigned 40 to 50 years ago. Apple and Netflix are both “jockeying” to produce for the Lawrence-as-Mengers project, Belloni writes. The Apple bid is apparently in the $80 million range.

In traditional theatrical distributor terms an $80 million biopic of this sort wouldn’t really add up. As Belloni points out, Renee Zellweger‘s moderately approvable Judy represented a sensible economic gamble, having cost $10 million and earned $46 million worldwide with Zellweger winning an Oscar. The streamers are basically saying “we don’t care…we have our own economic system…we want JLaw as Mengers.”

I’ve said two or three times that Jack Sholder‘s The Hidden (slithery monster aliens invading and taking over bodies of human hosts) should be remade. It’s too good and too hilarious of a premise to not rework it somehow. It came out nearly 35 years ago, which means that most Millennials and Zoomers have barely heard of it, much less seen.

On 3.5.18, or roughly three and a half years ago, I suggested that one way to remake The Hidden would be to blend it with This Gun For Hire. Use an early ’40s milieu and shoot it in black and white within a 1.37:1 aspect ratio, but with slimey, squishy monsters living inside the traitors.

I haven’t thought through the particulars, but the basic character would still be the half-psychopathic, half-sympathetic hit man Raven (Alan Ladd‘s role), and he’s been hired to rub someone out. But once he gets wind of a certain cabal of alien-controlled governmental figures his arc changes…he’s still a shady loner but in a pivotal position, and non-alienized cops begin to consider the possibility that he’s not the malevolent figure they had him pegged as.

Plus I love the concept of black-and-white CG monsters. To me that’s ice cream, cake and syrup. There were two or three monster-glimpse moments in The Lighthouse (King Triton, mermaid, demonic seagull) that really turned me on, and the idea of a ’40s monster noir in 1.37 feels delicious. I realize that 98% of the audience regards black-and-white CG as a fringe appetite at best. I still love it. This Gun For Hire With Monsters could be made for a price.

Everyone knows that Gone Girl director David Fincher wanted Ben Affleck to wear a Yankee cap for an airport scene in the film, and that it was a big hassle to get Affleck, a devotional Boston Red Sox fan, to wear the damn thing instead of a Red Sox cap. But I’d somehow forgotten that Gone Girl was shut down for four days because of this stupid argument. What did it cost to keep everyone on salary and pay for all the stuff that a movie needs to pay for on a daily basis…how much did it cost while Affleck and Fincher were at loggerheads on this? The problem was finally solved with Affleck wearing a Mets cap instead a Yankee one.

I was almost given a costly parking ticket yesterday. I had foolishly parked the Yamaha Majesty next to a red curb and a fire hydrant, directly in front of the main entrance to West Hollywood Pavilions. I’d parked in the same spot many times, and for my own mystical reasons I’d never considered the possibility that I might be risking a fine.

One, the fire hydrant was painted almost the same bright yellow color as a nearby pair of metal posts, and it didn’t look like a hydrant as much as an object d’art of some kind. Time and again I’d considered the yellow hydrant and posts and thought “those look very nice” but not once did I say to myself “that’s an actual fire hydrant so I’d better park somewhere else.”

So if you ask me it was basically the fault of the City of West Hollywood for making things look too pleasant and attractive and spiffy.

Two, the bright red paint on the curb was also pleasing to the eye (yellow-red contrast) and again this was WeHo’s fault. The designers distracted the eyes of Average Joes. Most of us are inclined to obey the law, but it’s unfair, so to speak, to use camoflauge and vivid colors to throw people off. Not to mention the attractive cactus plants between the yellow posts and the hydrant.

Luckily I came out of Pavilions and greeted the ticket guy before he’d begun writing me up. I didn’t argue with him, and I certainly wasn’t dumb enough to insist that I was innocent, or to accuse West Hollywood of distracting law-abiding citizens with bright, attractive colors. I just said it hadn’t occured to me that I was breaking the law because the hydrant didn’t look hydrant-y enough.

“But you’re also parked next to a red curb,” he said. “How could you possibly miss that?” I said I didn’t know how, but that somehow it hadn’t occured to me.

Then we started talking about the rumblehog, and he wanted to know the manufacturer and model. Then my “Pete Buttigieg for President” bumper sticker, followed by a discussion of my 1960 “Kennedy for President” sticker. And this and that and before you knew it the ticket guy decided not to ticket me, and I told him I was very grateful.

51. What are two rights of everyone living in the United States?

(a) Freedom of expression except on Twitter.
(b) Freedom of speech except on Twitter.
(c) Freedom of assembly.
(d) Freedom to petition the government.
(e) Freedom of religion.
(f) The right to bear arms.