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I’ve never been much for this kind of slam-and-scream horror film, much less for the scary literature of Stephen King. But I have to admit that the red balloon is spooky. Because it drops the Alka Seltzer into the water.

I’ve been told by a seasoned, trustworthy guy who’s seen The Book of Henry that this Colin Trevorrow-directed film, which wrapped in November 2015, is a problem. I’m sorry. I have no dog in this. Just saying.

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David Michod and Brad Pitt‘s War Machine looks and sounds engaging as shit. The Netflix press release calls it “absurdist” and “pitch-black.” Pitt’s General Glenn McMahon – Gen. Stanley McChrystal. Ben Kingsley as former Afghanistan president Hamid Karazi…perfect! With Emory Cohen, Topher Grace, Anthony Michael Hall, Will Poulter, Lakeith Stanfield, Meg Tilly, Tilda Swinton. “We’re not here to win — we’re here to clean up the mess.” War Machine pops on 5.26.17.

So how is Gary Oldman‘s performance as Winston Churchill in Joe Wright‘s Darkest Hour (Focus Features, 11.24)? Or, more precisely, how good or commanding does his Churchill seem in the Darkest Hour trailer that was shown today during a Focus Features presentation inside Caesar’s Palace? Oldman is very, very good. It’s not Churchill himself come back to life (the voice doesn’t quite have that trademark snap, that Winnie-tude), but a genetic splicing of Oldman, Churchill and Wright. It’s somewhere between 85% and 90% of what I’d hoped to see and hear, and considering the expectations that’s pretty damn good. Obviously a locked-in Best Actor thing. Due respect to Brian Cox and Johathan Teplitzky‘s Churchill (which will open in early June), but Oldman’s Winnie is more commanding. Ditto John Lithgow‘s Churchill in The Crown.

Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill in Joe Wright’s Finest Hour (Focus Featuyres, 11.24).

Hollywood Elsewhere staggered out of Universal‘s Cinemacon presentation a little more than an hour ago. I’d still be there if I hadn’t decided to avoid watching F. Gary Gray‘s The Fate of the Furious (Universal 4.4.17), which is showing as we speak.

For whatever reason Team Universal decided to avoid even mentioning three releases that comprise their fall ’17 slate — Doug Liman‘s American Made, Tomas Alfredson‘s The Snowman (10.13.17) and Jason Hall‘s Thank You For You Service)l.

They focused instead on promoting five jackhammer, bass-thump, super-coarse, high-velocity movies opening between early April and late July — The Fate of the Furious, The Mummy (6.9), Despicable Me 3 (6.30), Girls Trip (7.21.17) and David Leitch‘s Atomic Blonde (7.28). Because slam-thunk moron movies make more dough that those aimed at 25-and-overs.

I’m not saying this is all exhibitors care about, but…well, this is more or less where they live and what seems to concern them the most. Morons and concessions.

If you didn’t know that Universal, a longstanding studio with a proud tradition, has a modest fall slate and that it’s making only the above-mentioned spring and summer movies [which it isn’t), you’d be under an impression that Universal has all but sold its soul to the devil.

Not just Universal, actually, but to a considerable extent Sony, Disney, STX and Warner Bros. Because they’re all making the same movie these days — the same assaultive, gutslamming, ear-splitting, cartoon-like experience that I’m calling generic superjizz.

And yet, curiously, Paramount is to some extent on another planet, at least as far as three of its 2017 films are concerned — Alexander Payne‘s obviously brilliant Downsizing, George Clooney‘s Coen-esque Suburbicon and Alex Garland‘s spooky Annhilation.  And don’t forget Darren Aronofsky‘s Mother, which wasn’t promoted here but will also pop in the fall.

Focus Features, which will stage a Cinemacon luncheon and presentation less than an hour from now, also resides on this planet Atomic Blonde aside, they’ll be releasing four adult-level standouts this year — Sofia Coppola‘s The Beguiled (6.23), Stephen Frears‘ Victoria and Abdul (9.22), Joe Wright‘s Darkest Hour (11.24) and Paul Thomas Anderson‘s untitled fashion drama with Daniel Day Lewis (opening on or near Christmas ’17).

Filed on iPhone:  Paramount and Alexander Payne’s Cinemacon preview of Downsizing was awesome, brilliant, hilarious, sad and a tiny bit scary — an obvious Best Picture contender.

It’s well acted, earnest, scientifically palatable as far as it goes, emotionally honest, fascinating and darkly funny.  And the visual & practical effects are top-notch.  It’s going to be great — you can tell.

The title refers to shrinking people down to five inches, reducing their needs (less food, smaller houses and cars), expanding their purchasing power and generating a much, much smaller carbon footprint.  Makes sense, good move, your banker and accountant approve.

Downsizing is going to be the shit — I only saw ten minutes worth and I just knew. We all did. It was obvious.  A metaphor about totalitarianism, dehumanization, submission — it’s the new Metropolis.  Wow.

Payne’s Downsizing, George Clooney’s Coen-esque Suburbicon, Darren Aronofsky’s un-screened Mother, Alex Garland’s Annhilation   — Paramount’s four critical winners in ‘17, I’m thinking.  

I didn’t go to this morning’s STX Cinemacon preview presentation (sorry), but TheWrap‘s Sharon Waxman is reporting that footage from Aaron Sorkin’s Molly’s Game was screened. “While star Jessica Chastain ably takes the lead, some notable stars were missing,” she writes. “Like the real-life men (like Tobey Maguire and Ben Affleck) who were implicated in the true story of Molly Bloom — the arranger of high-stakes pokers games in Hollywood. Maguire was even fined $800,000 for his participation in the games. A rough trailer screened at CinemaCon did not specifically call out any of the famous people that were pegged to the illegal ring.”

A trailer’s one thing, but a movie’s another. Or a script is, at least. A year ago I snagged a 12.29.15 draft of Sorkin’s Molly Game script, and knew within 40 pages that Sorkin had at least created a stand-in for Maguire — a character called “PLAYER X”.

How do I know this? There’s a great story about Maguire that appears in Molly Bloom‘s “Molly’s Game,” which is the basis of the Sorkin script. Passed along by the New York Observer‘s Ken Kurson in a 5.22.14 post, the excerpt reads as follows:

“Maguire was in a big hand that had come down to himself and one other player. The other player wondered aloud if Maguire might be bluffing, but Maguire said, ‘I swear on my mother’s life I have you beat.’ [Which was] a way of saying, ‘I actually do have the nut hand in this deal.’ The other player folded. Then, instead of just throwing his cards into the middle face down and taking his winnings, Maguire showed his hand to the table to reveal that despite the maternal oath, he had indeed been bluffing and wanted the table to know it.”

A very close facsimile of this scene appears on page 40 and 41 of Sorkin’s script.

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From “Odd, Minimalist, Engagingly Trippy Ghost Story“, posted on 1.25.17: “David Lowery‘s A Ghost Story (A24, 7.7) lives on the opposite side of the canyon from Olivier Assayas and Kristen Stewart‘s Personal Shopper. It has to be said upfront that Lowery’s film isn’t all that scary. Okay, two or three moments put the chill in but this isn’t the game plan, and that’s what’s so cool about it. Really. Either you get that or you don’t.

“For this is basically a story about a broken-hearted male ghost (or formerly male) who doesn’t know what to do with himself, and so he mopes around and says to himself ‘Jesus, I feel kind of fucked…where am I?…what’s happening?…am I gonna stand around watching humans for decades or even centuries? I don’t know what the hell to do.’

“In life Mr. Confused was a married musician (Casey Affleck), and now, post-mortem, he’s returned to the home he shared with his wife (Rooney Mara). I guess all ghosts are unsettled spirits who just can’t surrender to the infinite, right? And so they hang out, looking or waiting for God-knows-what. 

“Affleck’s ghost watches his sad, suffering widow for a while (there’s a great extended scene in which Mara eats almost an entire pie while sitting in the kitchen floor), and then he gets pissed off when he sees that Mara has gone out with some guy, and then he gets even angrier when she leaves and a Latino family moves in.

“And then the film moves on in all kinds of trippy (not to mention time-trippy) ways. I love that it’s more of a metaphysical meditation flick than one trying to give you jolts. A Ghost Story even goes into the relatively distant past (the mid 1800s) at one point until it finally circles back to the present and in fact the very beginning, if that’s not too confusing.

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I emerged from last night’s Sony Pictures Cinemacon presentation with two positive impressions — one, Denis Villeneuve‘s Blade Runner 2049 (10.6) is going to be a wowser noir sink-in and a serious visual knockout, and two, Sony Pictures chairman Tom Rothman knows from catchy punchlines — “Netflix, my ass” and “cool as shit.”

Rothman was referring to the Blade Runner 2049 footage, which is cool as shit, but also his presumedly fervent belief that Sony/Columbia/Tristar is in the real audience-pleasing, whoo-whoo movie business — delivering that rock ’em, knock ’em flat stuff like the greatest show on earth. Well, yeah, to some extent it is, okay, but in other ways, it isn’t. At all. But more of that in my “Letter to Mitch” piece that follows.

The rest of the presentation…ehhh, not bad, “diverting”, yeah yeah, whatever.

Wait, I take that partly back: the promo for Edgar Wright‘s Baby Driver (Sony, 6.28), which kicked things off, got me going also to some extent. The sardonic action comedy fared pretty well at South by Southwest, as we all know. Director Edgar Wright (who is really short — I hadn’t realized that until last night) and costars Ansel Elgort and Jon Hamm showed up on the Collisseum stage. Good stuff.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (Sony, 7.7)….please. We’re supposed to be excited because 20 year-old Tom Holland, the third and latest Spider-Man, is front and center? That’s what Marvel president Kevin Feige was saying last night. Holland is the keeper of the golden fleece because he stole Captain America: Civil War, or words to that effect. On top of which Homecoming is set entirely within Peter Parker’s high-school realm, Feige added. It looked like the same old Marvel jazz to me. The endlessly glib Robert Downey, Jr.…again. We saw the first footage of Michael Keaton’s Vulture villain….meh.

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Sony’s opening-night Cinemacon presentation runs from 6:45 pm to 8:30 pm, and then comes a Sony/Dolby dinner reception at Omnia, a Caesar’s Palace nightclub that will undoubtedly be overstimulating and overly noisy.

How did Dane DeHaan become the guy everybody wants to cast? He caught everyone’s eye in The Place Beyond the Pines (’12) but his James Dean didn’t quite work in Life. I didn’t even see A Cure for Wellness.

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