Hollywood Elsewhere and the much-whispered-about Yamaha Rumblehog lost traction, tipped over and hit the floor sideways this morning. It happened in the underground parking lot of the Paradigm talent agency (8942 Wilshire) at 10:20 am. I banged my elbow slightly but no worries. Like a terrified animal about to be killed, the rumblehog pissed a pint of gas onto the floor when we hit the floor. I almost said ”Aagghh…act like a manly motorcycle and not some candy-ass scooter!”
I sustained no injuries, but I do blame the construction guys who built or remodeled the Pardigm garage because the floor is too slippery to corner with. Should I have noticed this and driven accordingly? Yes, but the floor is a lot smoother and slicker than other talent agency garages, and I’ve been to them all. They should post a sign at the entrance that says “WARNING TO MOTORCYCLISTS — extra-slick floor makes cornering dicey if not dangerous.”
Introducing Sasha Stone‘s Goldtripping.com, which will basically be recollections of 20 years of Oscar-blogging. Tonally and appearance-wise, it reminds me of Karina Longworth‘s “You Must Remember This.” I could do something like this, but I’ve already established an alternate site — i.e., HE Plus. The problem is that as relentless and devotional as I am about HE classic, I’m a procrastinating dilletante when it comes to HEplus.
Every day I tell myself, “I will stop slacking off with HEplus and become a born-again devotee.” Most days I fail to do this. I’m so angry at myself, so depressed, so mortified. The other day I literally slapped myself across the face. Some days I can barely stand to look in the mirror.
Henceforth I will commit myself, dammit, to mining one of four HEplus veins or topics — (a) A modest riff on any older film, “older” being defined as anything that’s opened commercially between 1915 and last month; (b) personal tales of this and that…true and clear stories about stuff that hurt at the time, and which still linger in some gnawing way; (c) a Miss Lonelyhearts relationship advice column — twice married, 45 years of sniffing and chasing, loving and losing and making mistakes…I can bang this out in my sleep… why not dispense some of this?; and (d) End-of-the-day video recaps of the day’s posts + other topics I didn’t get to.
Colorized photos usually look like what they are. But every so often one will look exactly (and I mean exactly) right, natural and un-pushed with precisely the right shade of skin. This one actually looks too good — if a Wild One unit still photographer had snapped this Brando portrait in color during filming (i.e., early ’53), it would’ve looked a tiny bit splotchy, slightly coarser.
To be fair, one example of the non-Michael Douglas-y approach to making movies has to be Ryan Reynolds. And certainly Robert De Niro during his paycheck phase of the early-to-late aughts. Post-SleuthMichael Caine, or for most of his life. Cuba Gooding during his post-Jerry Maguire cash-in period. Everybody makes a crap movie now and then. Goes with the profession.
Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman: “Sequels exist, as art and as business, to remind you of something that existed before. They are parasitical by design. That’s why, well into the ’90s (the era of Another 48 HRS, RoboCop 2 and Speed 2: Cruise Control), they were a form greeted with a mixture of (momentary) enthusiasm and (mostly) mockery.”
HE: There are still only two Star Wars movies of serious consequence — The Empire Strikes Back (which is approaching its 40th anniversary) and to a slightly lesser extent the original Star Wars: A New Hope. Some of the Star Wars films made over the last four decades have been marginally exciting or diverting or harmless as far as they went, but none even came close to packing the mythical cliffhanger punch of The Empire Strikes Back.
Since 1983 and the arrival of the mostly underwhelming Return of the Jedi, they’ve all been about one thing and one thing only — i.e., cashing in on the lore. And that, from my perspective, has never been a compelling thing to wade into.
Q: What’s in it for me? A: Well, if you like it you’ll feel good and fulfilled. And if you don’t…well, not a whole lot. Ether way they basically just want your money.
Gleiberman: “Star Wars has come to represent a kind of capitalist religion: the notion that Hollywood can create a universe that’s so powerful, such a golden goose, that it never has to end.
“The birth of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, in 2008, was a direct iteration of this philosophy, one that emerged in spirit out of what George Lucas had accomplished with his prequels. And in an odd way, it was the very mediocrity of The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith that became central to their meaning in the global entertainment marketplace. The mediocrity suggested that when the brand is mythological enough, ‘if you build it, they will come…even if the films don’t measure up.’
HE: The general presumption is that Game of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss were “summarily dismissed” from the Star Wars universe (i.e., an attempt to create a whole new world of Star Wars-like characters and narratives) because they weren’t able to shake off their drive and personality and become docile stooges for the Disney Empire — cogs in the corporate mechanism. They presumably wanted to do that to some extent, at least in the beginning stages, but it wasn’t in them. Their visions were too far afield of the generic Star Wars template.
Roughly a month ago I read a flattering Medium piece about Pete Buttigieg — “flattering”, that is, as in factual. I’m asking all the HE hang-backers (the ones who constantly say “Pete is too young, too inexperienced, the culture isn’t ready for a gay President, he’ll have another shot”) to just read it. It’ll take you all of nine minutes.
And then you can go back to your embrace of Typewriter Joe or Elizabeth Warren — either of whom I would be okay with (i..e, disappointed but accepting) if they won the nomination. They’re just not as vital, exciting and ideally suited to the 20s as Pete. Being older in years means nothing — it’s about brains, judgment, humanity and character.
Who is the wiser, smarter and more mature person, Greta Thunberg or Donald Trump?
Anthony Freda‘s illustration says it all — cancel culture fanatics are the ogres of our time. I can’t wait until the culture swings back and around and everyone starts coming for them.
No, not punitively — I don’t want to see anyone’s career threatened or damaged — but wokesters deserve to be exposed for who and what they are, as no different in temperament or attitude than the rightwing legislators of the early to mid ’50s who destroyed the careers of several reputable screenwriters for being ex-Communists.
The best portion of the article focuses on the remarks of Jonathan Kay, an editor of Quillette, “an online publication that touts itself as a defender of free speech and has emerged as a home for the canceled to plead their cases.”
Excerpt: “Mr. Kay clarified that Quillette will not publish just anyone, however. ‘Being canceled is like autism — it’s a spectrum,’ he said. Harvey Weinstein would be a ‘no’ for him.
“’We’re much more interested in the opposite end of the spectrum, where you have people who have been accused of things that are much less serious, and don’t nearly approach a criminal level,’ Mr. Kay said.
“Readers want to hear from the canceled, but the larger motivation is philosophical. Quillette’s editorial point of view is that so-called cancel culture is overly punitive and lacks nuance.
“’When I went to law school, in the ’90s, the presumption of innocence was seen as a progressive value,’ Mr. Kay said. ‘Because who is mostly wrongly accused of crime? Racialized minorities. Blacks, Hispanics, the poor. More often than not, it protects marginalized communities. And now the presumption of innocence is seen as a conservative value. And that troubles me.’”
Various Gold Derby “experts” are predicting (i.e., lobbying for) Lupita Nyong’o to land a Best Actress nomination for her double performance in Jordan Peele‘s Us.
Sorry, but it can’t and won’t happen. Lupita basically gave (a) a Jamie Lee Curtis scream-queen performance and (b) a stunt performance by way of playing predator and victim at the same time. Second, Us was an “interesting”, mildly effective horror film that was elevated, yes, but also had a bizarre fixation on Hands Across America, the 1986 nationwide charity organized by the evil Ken Kragen. Third, Us opened so far out of the award-season sweet spot (i.e., last March) it’s not even funny. And fourth, why don’t these Gold Derby boosters join me and Sasha Stone is pushing an actual hottie with a serious chance of being nominated — Da’Vine Joy Randolph of Dolemite Is My Name?
There are two strong female costars in Vincente Minnelli‘s The Bad and the Beautiful — Lana Turner and Gloria Grahame as Georgia Lorrison and Rosemary Bartlow, respectively. But there’s a third actress who also burned brightly or fiercely — Elaine Stewart as the cynical and bitchy Lila, whom Kirk Douglas‘s Jonathan Shields has a brief fling with in Act Two. Even if you’ve only seen The Bad and the Beautiful once, there’s no forgetting tawdry Lila — a real spitfire.
So does Stewart appear in the credit block on the poster? No, she does not. But another actress — Vanessa Brown — does, right next to Leo G. Carroll. And yet in her role as Barry Sullivan‘s fiancee/wife, Brown has maybe one or two lines of consequence, if that. She does and says almost nothing…she just smiles, sits on a beach blanket, kisses Sullivan, laughs and registers excitement in a morning-after-a-poker-game scene.
Why was Brown favored over Stewart? Because she was brilliant and accomplished outside of acting circles (a critic-journalist, IQ of 165) and, one presumes, because The Bad and the Beautiful producer John Houseman and/or MGM honcho Dore Schary admired her wit and class. Stewart was sexier and sassier, but she was mainly known for having done some Bettie Page-like modelling (she posed for Playboy and See magazine).
Know why Kate McKinnon‘s Elizabeth Warren Town Hall “cold open” on SNL wasn’t funny, apart for the fact that anything having to do with Warren can’t be funny no matter how you slice it? Because it’s not satirical as much as gently instructive.
The point of the sketch isn’t to make fun of Warren’s Medicare-For-All plan, but to sell it to the God-knows-how-many-millions who’ve never paid the slightest attention to anything Warren has ever said.
The bit more or less succeeds in that regard. People are scared of Medicare-For-All because they don’t like anything that smacks of new or exotic or complex. That’s it — that’s the whole thing.
I’ve tried re-watching Cool Hand Luke a couple of times, but when that ABC 7 EyewitnessNews music plays on the soundtrack, I just can’t do it — my suspension of disbelief goes right out the window. Obviously Lalo Schifrin’s original score was Luke’s alone for a certain period of time. But once Eyewitness News adopted it and played it for New York viewers every damn weeknight for years on end (when did that start, sometime in the late ‘70s or early ‘80s?) the spell was broken forever.
