If you insist on believing in some kind of sentient, all-seeing, all-knowing entity called “God” then I don’t know what to tell you. Have you ever considered becoming addicted to heroin? It’ll make you feel like Jesus’s son. Kidding.

Okay, let’s hypothesize that “God” is there and, heh-heh, “watching”. On second thought let’s not. Because as Ingmar Bergman and Woody Allen said time and again, God doesn’t give a shit about you or your fate or the well-being of your family. Really. It’s not that he’s hostile to you and yours, but that he’s indifferent as to whether you end up rich or struggling or pregnant or dead from Russian shrapnel or whatever. He’s not in this.

Okay, yes — I’ve occasionally thanked God for good fortune or prayed for a fair shake, but it’s not meant with any sincerity. It’s a figure of speech.

I hated, hated, HATED Kelly Fremon Craig‘s The Edge of Seventeen. I’m not saying I’m already planning to get my hate-on for Craig’s Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret (Lionsgate, 4.28), which is based on Judy Blume’s 1970 novel. I haven’t seen it and will naturally wait for a screening, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not feeing the negativity from afar. Because I can.

HE nemesis Benny Safdie plays the father of the lead protagonist, Abby Ryder Fortson‘s “Margaret Simon”. This whets my appetite, of course.

And they threw poor George Harrison into this?

“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile, but that it’s indifferent.” — Stanley Kubrick, sometime in the mid ’60s.

From HE’s The Edge of Seventeen review, filed on 9.17.16: “In the words of John F. Kennedy, I do not shrink from the occasional responsibility of shitting on a teen-angst dramedy — I welcome it. I was frowning and throwing my hands in the air and exhaling and checking my watch less than five minutes in. Okay, The Edge of Seventeen became somewhat more tolerable during the last third, which is when neurotic characters in movies of this sort begin to fold and weep as they lay their emotional cards on the table. But God, that first hour! And the cliches! It poked and prodded and put me through long stretches of hell.”

Ten nominees for the Producers Guild of America’s Daryl F. Zanuck award have been announced, and Sarah Polley‘s Women Talking — a dialogue-driven film that wokester critics have been touting as a Best Picture contender since it premiered in Telluride — didn’t make the cut.

I’ve been saying all along that Women Talking is a non-starter, and THR‘s Scott Feinberg tweeted during Telluride that he’d be surprised if it catches on among male industry veterans.

And yet Darren Aronofsky‘s The Whale, a film that more than a few gentle souls are terrified of even watching, is among the ten…go figure.

The ten PGA nominees: Avatar: The Way of Water (20th Century Studios); The Banshees of Inisherin (Searchlight Pictures); Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Marvel Studios); Elvis (Warner Bros.); Everything Everywhere All at Once (A24…no!); The Fabelmans (Universal Pictures); Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (Netflix); Tár (Focus Features); Top Gun: Maverick (Paramount Pictures); and The Whale (A24).

HE to Friendo #1: “Are these Next Best Picture guys crazy? Women Talking is in third place among Best Picture contenders? On what planet?”

HE to Ruimy: “The truth is that almost every pundit has Women Talking in their predictions, but don’t be surprised if it misses out on a nomination. I’d say right now 60/40 it gets nominated.”

Friendo #2 to HE: “When it comes to Women Talking, the fix is in. A Best Picture nomination is going to happen whether people want it to or not. You could see that in Telluride.”:

HE to Ruimy: “Because of #MeToo tokenism and the fact that the one male character (Ben Whishaw‘s “August Epp”) is passive and tearful?”

Friendo #1 to HE: “The critics will have to drive this movie to Oscar nominations, and I don’t think they’re all on board.”

…if I was able to write something? I can’t tap anything out because I’m driving and it’s dark out. Later this evening…Jeff Beck sleeps.

I’m in a nice friendly cafe, and I happen to sitting near a couple of seemingly gay women who are just getting to know each other. Maybe they’ve “met” via Lesly and are speaking for the very first time.

I’m mentioning this because I can’t help overhearing their yappity-yap-yap and absorbing their amorous energy. The same kind of expectant singles-bar hormonal hoo-hah that we’ve all heard and felt. I radiated the same hundreds of times in my heyday.

I’m just thinking to myself “these two are so into impressing each other…they’re trying so hard to be funny and sharp and witty that I’m getting exhausted just listening to them. It’s none of my business and I should try harder to not listen, but an inner voice is saying ‘Jesus, fellas…maybe you don’t have to try so hard? Give yourselves a break and turn it down a bit.'”

Don’t prospective lovers talk like this any more?

Posted from Honlulu on 11.19.12: “I landed in Honolulu at 10 pm local time (or midnight LA time) after a 5 and 1/2 hour flight. My Tokyo flight leaves tomorrow at 1 pm so I’m staying at an airport-vicinity dump called the Pacific Marina Inn (2628 Waiwai Loop, Honolulu , HI, 96819), which is located among a cluster of drab warehouses and small businesses with two ugly gas stations the only beacons (apart from the PMI) of people-friendly commerce.

“Aloha! Good to be here! The skanky industrial regions of Oahu can be just as ugly if not uglier than the skanky industrial regions around LA or Newark or Orlando.

“As soon as the bags were in the room I stepped outside and breathed in the Hawaiian night air with the idea of going for a nice walk. But about 70 feet away in the darkness of the parking lot there were two curvy, bordering-on-plus-sized girls leaning against a car and making out, and every time I stuck my head out they turned around and gave me this look that said ‘so are you going to stare at us all night, pervy, or do we get a little privacy here?’ So I began to feel intimidated. Like it or not, the girls had laid claim to the parking lot and intruders were not welcome.

“Then I told myself I had just as much of a right to enjoy the parking lot as these girls did. Then I asked myself, ‘What would Ryan Adams do? He’s a sensitive guy, writes for Awards Daily, stands up for gay rights. He’d know what to do. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t call these girls ‘lesbos’ but would he just roam around and take pictures and do what he wants or would he hide inside the motel room like me, unsure of his next move?'”

Lawrence Tierney in Reservoir Dogs: “So you’ve had a few bad months. You do what everybody else does. I don’t care if it’s J.P. Morgan or lrving the tailor. You ride it out.”

Michelle Williams may land a Best Actress Oscar nomination for The Fabelmans, but SAG having blown her off for a Best Actress nom obviously spells trouble.

Congrats to Blonde‘s Ana de Armas, who gave Andrew Dominik all the pain and anguish she could muster — precisely what he wanted from her. Congrats also to Till‘s Danielle Deadwyler for her Best Actress nom; ditto Viola Davis for her Woman King turn. SAG’s Best Actress award will be most likely won by Tar‘s Cate Blanchett. It’s my personal opinion that EEEAAO‘s Michelle Yeoh did herself no favors during her GG acceptance speech last night — she sounded a little too casual, even a bit smug.

SAG’s Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture

Babylon
The Banshees of Inisherin…NECK & NECK WITH FABELMANS.
Everything Everywhere All at Once….no!
The Fabelmans
Women Talking….NOT A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL

SAG’s Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role

Cate Blanchett (Tár)
Viola Davis (The Woman King)
Ana de Armas (Blonde)
Danielle Deadwyler (Till)
Michelle Yeoh (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

SAG’s Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

Austin Butler (Elvis)
Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin)
Brendan Fraser (The Whale)
Bill Nighy (Elvis)
Adam Sandler (Hustle)

SAG’s Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role

Angela Bassett (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever)
Hong Chau (The Whale)
Kerry Condon (The Banshees of Inisherin)…DESIGNATED WINNER
Jamie Lee Curtis (Everything Everywhere All at Once)
Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

SAG’s Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

Paul Dano (The Fabelmans)
Brendan Gleeson (The Banshees of Inisherin)
Barry Keoghan (The Banshees of Inisherin)
Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once)….OBVIOUSLY FATED TO WIN
Eddie Redmayne (The Good Nurse)

On 1.10.16, four lads at a Golden Globes after-party in Century City — (l. to r.) Roger Durling, Deadline’s Pete Hammond, myself, Kris Tapley. 2016 was the last semi-normal year before the woke plague began to descend.

11:18 pm: Steven Spielberg‘s The Fabelmans has won the Golden Globe award for Best Motion Picture Drama. It’s a reasonably good film, but it doesn’t radiate what I would call exceptional jazz and it doesn’t knock the ball out of the park….it really doesn’t. But congrats to all.

10:59 pm: Best Dramatic Actor TV series winner Kevin Costner (Yellowstone) can’t attend the ceremony because he’s “sheltering in place” in Santa Barbara (technically Carpinteria). Very funny, but I’m about done. It’s 11:04 pm….Jesus.

Thank God that the Golden Globe award for Best Screenplay has gone to Martin McDonagh and his Banshees of Inisherin script and not to…well, you know…thank God in heaven!

HFPA to Tomris Laffly: “Please forgive us, Tomris! Give us another chance…puhleeze?”

🎉 Congratulations on your WIN for Best Motion Picture – Non-English Language, Argentina, 1985! #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/mqaFxJhqQK

— Golden Globe Awards (@goldenglobes) January 11, 2023