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Late November 2021 Statement from Criterion regarding Citizen Kane 4K Bluray:

“Criterion had discovered there is a problem with the 1080p Bluray disc in all of our Citizen Kane editions. It affects the contrast in the feature film, starting around the 30-minute mark and lasting until the end of the film. The 4K UHD disc is not affected.

“We are in the process of manufacturing corrected copies and will be making replacements available to all of our customers. We hope to have replacement discs ready to ship before the end of the year.

“If you would like to exchange your disc, please send the Blu-ray disc 1 only (no packaging) to The Criterion Collection. Attn: Jon Mulvaney / KANE, 215 Park Ave South, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10003.

“Our apologies for this inconvenience, and thanks as always for your support. Best wishes for a happy, safe, and wonderful holiday.”

Imaginary January 2022 Statement from Criterion regarding four teal-tinted Criterion Blurays — Midnight Cowboy, Bull Durham, Sisters and Teorema:

“For the last four years, Criterion has refused to acknowledge that four Criterion Blurays of four classic films — Midnight Cowboy, Bull Durham, Sisters and Teorema — have been teal-tinted, and in so doing the original color schemes of these films were essentially vandalized.

“Three of these vandalizations happened in 2018 — Midnight Cowboy, Bull Durham and Sisters. The fourth teal treatment happened in early January, 2020, to Pier Paolo Pasolini‘s Teorema.

“Criterion knew about these teal-tintings all along, but never admitted their existence. We have finally decided to admit our errors in this regard.

“We are in the process of manufacturing corrected copies of Midnight Cowboy, Bull Durham, Sisters and Teorema and will be making replacements available to all of our customers. We hope to have replacement discs ready to ship before the end of the year.

“If you would like to exchange your teal discs for naturally colored ones, please send them (no packaging) to The Criterion Collection. Attn: Jon Mulvaney / COWBOY, BURHAM, SISTERS, TEOREMA / 215 Park Ave South, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10003.”

Friendo to HE: “Remember this hot babe?”

HE to friendo: “Uhm, no. Remember her from what?

Friendo to HE: “Uncut Gems.”

HE to friendo: “Wait…yes! Adam Sandler’s office girlfriend. The one who got away with the money. Going for the Kanye gold.”

Friendo to HE: “Yup…why not?”

HE to friendo: “You only live once, and more often than not the window of opportunity is very brief.”

Back in the old days (i.e., before the Ricky Camilleri thought police were patrolling the streets with AK-47s) people were allowed to acknowledge the existence of cliched proletariat Mexican accents when it came to speaking English. You could actually refer to this without getting indicted.

I’m speaking of exaggerated or soft rounded vowels a la Elia Kazan‘s Viva Zapata (’52). In the ’50s and early ’60s Bill Dana made an unfortunate comic career out of this way of speaking, as Mel Blanc had during guest spots on The Jack Benny Show. Jack Palance tried to imitate this with more sincerity when he played Jesus Raza, a peasant Mexican revolutionary, in Richard Brooks‘ The Professionals (’66).

This ultimately led to one of my all-time favorite improvs in a Robert Altman‘s The Long Goodbye — a fast, loose, spur-of-the-moment improv by Elliot Gould‘s Phillip Marlowe.

Marlowe is talking to a couple of officials in a small Mexican town about the death of old friend Terry Lennox (Jim Bouton ), whom Marlowe has always known deep down to be a chilly taker-user-manipulator. Speaking in the above-referenced Jose Jimenez manner, one of the officials says, “You were acquainted with the deceased?” And Marlowe/Gould says, “The diseased…yeah, right.”

Kino Lorber’s 4K Bluray of The Long Goodbye pops on 1.18.22.

Yes, it’s reassuring that 62% of voters would rather see Donald Trump go away and never return and perhaps even die soon. There’s nonetheless a small but significant percentage (presumably including your MTG and Lauren Boebert followers) that wants a fascistic, anti-democratic dictatorship.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene’s personal account is history for posting Covid falsehoods, resulting in five “strikes.” But to stay in business, so to speak, she simply has to use her official Congressional account, @RepMTG. So all is relatively well from her perspective. She soldiers on.

It’s not a factor as far as vaccines are concerned. Because a shitload of people are getting infected regardless of vax status. And once they have it they’re merely besieged with fatigue, a cough and a head cold for three or four days, and they’re gifted with a serious state of immunity in its wake. So it “counts”, yes, but it’s not governed or influenced by vaccination rates. It’s actually a “good” thing, except for those with weak constitutions.

…mentioning the bizarre, inclusion-mandate, virtue-signaling casting issues in The Tender Bar, which I pointed out in my initial review and which no one else on the planet earth has brought up since. Otherwise the general consensus is that this Amazon period drama is a six.

World of Reel‘s Jordan Ruimy has rebooted his list of preferred films that should (and probably will) be released in 2022. I’ve boldfaced the ones I’m especially interested in, which come to 18.

I’ll tell you right now that the 2022 Best Picture Oscar choices are between Killers of the Flower Moon, Babylon, The Fablemans, Bardo, Avatar 2 and (if it manages to open in late ’22) Kitbag.

THE TOP TEN (one of these will win the Best Picture Oscar in March 2023):
“Killers of the Flower Moon” (Martin Scorsese)
“Babylon” (Damien Chazelle)
“Disappointment Blvd.” (Ari Aster)
“The Fablemans” (Steven Spielberg)
“Avatar 2” (James Cameron)
“White Noise” (Noah Baumbach)
“Bardo” (Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu)
”Kitbag” (Ridley Scott — Joaquin Phoenix as Napoleon Bonaparte — but will it be ready in time?)
“Elvis” (Baz Luhrmann)
“Canterbury Glass” (or whatever it’s called now) (David O’Russell)

The FOLLOWING EIGHT:
“The Killer” (David Fincher)
“The Northman” (Robert Eggers)
”Bones and All” (Luca Guadagnino)
“The Batman” (Matt Reeves)
“Blonde” (Andrew Dominik)
“Bullet Train” (David Leitch)
“The Way of the Wind” (Terrence Malick)
“R.M.N” (Cristian Mungiu)

___________________________________________________

THE THIRD GROUPING:
“The Master Gardener” (Paul Schrader)
“Armageddon Time” (James Gray)
“Asteroid City” (Wes Anderson)
”Poor Things” (Yorgios Lanthimos)
“The Banshees of Inseherin” (Martin McDonagh)
”Owl” (Kelly Reichardt)
“The Zone of Interest” (Jonathan Glazer)
“Crimes of the Future” (David Cronenberg)

THE FOURTH:
“The Whale” (Darren Aronofsky)
“Decision to Leave” (Park Chan-Wook)
“Fire” (Claire Denis)
“Tar” (Todd Field)
”Kimi” (Steven Soderbergh)
“Next Goal Wins” (Taika Waititi)
“Don’t Worry Darling” (Olivia Wilde)
“Nope” (Jordan Peele)

THE FIFTH:
”Men” (Alex Garland)
”Pinocchio” (Guillermo del Toro — stop-motion)
“The Son” (Florian Zeller)
“The Stars at Noon” (Claire Denis)
“The Bubble” (Judd Apatow)
“Women Talking” (Sarah Polley)
“3000 Years of Longing” (George Miller)
“Triangle of Sadness” (Ruben Ostlund)

THE REST:
“The Eternal Daughter” (Joanna Hogg)
“Tori et Lokita” (Jean-Pierre & Luc Dardenne)
“Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Adventure” (Richard Linklater)
”Rebel Ridge” (Jeremy Saulnier)
“Deep Water” (Adrian Lyne)

I’m delighted to leave 2021 behind, of course. Was it as miserable and depressing as ‘20? No, but not for lack of trying. One of the only good or hopeful things is that a larger, disproportionate percentage of anti-vaxx bumblefucks are…uhm, being “culled.”