Not My Kind of Searcher

Not long after Elvis Presley died of a drug overdose in August 1977, the blunt-spoken John Lennon told a reporter that Presley “died in 1958, when he went into the Army.” There were, in fact, two Elvis Presleys, but the better of the two was elbowed and suffocated early on — career pressures, tumbling tides, you-tell-me-what-else.

The one that mattered was Elvis #1 — a rip-roaring cultural force of the mid ’50s, a slender and sideburned Memphis native who exuded a pulsing sexual energy and totally ruled the rock ‘n’ roll roost from early ’56 to March of ’58 (when he began his two-year military hitch) and who made five half-decent films — Love Me Tender, Loving You, Jailhouse Rock, King Creole and Flaming Star.

Elvis #2 was an in-and-outer and mostly a sell-out, the star of a series of appalling, ridiculous Hollywood films, a yokel who didn’t like the counterculture and the antiwar left, and thereafter became a flamboyant conservative who paid President Nixon an obsequious visit in December ’70, and then a flashy, entourage-flanked Las Vegas headliner, and finally a bloated, grotesque, drug-taking, peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich-consuming, on-the-verge-of-death wreck of his former self.

The apparent aim of this three-hour, two-part HBO movie, directed by Thom Zimny and debuting on 4.14, is to portray Presley as a serious, aspirational, hard-working artist during his slow-decline period (’58 to ’77). Maybe there’s more to this era than is commonly known, but…okay, I’ll watch it and see what goes.

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Shill

I smelled bullshit the instant that I read a claim by N.Y. Times White House reporter Maggie Haberman that Hope Hicks‘ decision to resign (a) had nothing to do with her House Intelligence Committee testimony (i.e., “I’ve told white lies”) and (b) that she’d been planning to leave for “months“. (Hicks only took the White House Communications Director job six months ago — 8.27.17 — when Anthony Scaramucci left.) The general belief out there is that Haberman is a stenographer for the Trump White House. Sure seems that way.

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How About Chris Murphy For President In ’20?

Not exactly charismatic and a little wonky to boot, but he’s a good, sensible fellow.

“Polls have consistently showed broad support for a universal background check. National polls in 2016 and 2017 found between 84 and 94 percent of respondents supported background checks. But what about NRA members? While federal law requires background checks for sales from federally licensed dealers, unlicensed private sellers are not required to conduct background checks — although states can create their own laws. A 2015 poll of gun owners by Public Policy Polling surveyed 816 gun owners. 83% said they support a criminal background check for everyone who wants to buy a firearm. Of the 196 who said they were NRA members, the poll showed that 72% support background checks.” — from 2.27 Politifact article by Amy Sherman.

“If Ahh Can Dream…:

If a genie were to offer me one wish (instead of the usual three), I would ask for the collapse of the superhero comic-book scourge. For these films have transformed the movie-theatre experience, a once-hallowed shrine, into something brutishly primitive and whorishly repetitive. Excellent stuff is obviously being made and seen, but mostly on my 65″ Sony 4K. Dipshit superhero flicks, cheap horror, dumb comedies, family fantasies, romcoms and girl-power fables are tumorous metaphors for the quarter-of-an-inch-deep spiritual vistas and fast-food taste buds of millions of GenX, Millennial and GenZ moviegoers.

And I’m speaking as someone who refused to see Girls Trip but truly enjoyed the last hour of Black Panther, and definitely looking forward to Ant Man and the Sassy Bitch Wasp.

When will it all end? In a May 2016 essay that offered “a nuanced explanation of where the industry’s at, how it got there, and what it means for the future of movies,” TimStarz04 predicted a collapse sometime in the early ’20s. The then-current system (slambang superfantasy flicks costing an arm and a leg, and only a small portion of them returning substantial profits) is “unsustainable,” he said, echoing the views of many in the industry (including Steven Spielberg). He specifically theorized that 2016 “will be the first year of the collapse of the Hollywood [comic-book idiot] studio system that will probably take hold by the beginning of the 2020s.”

What has changed over the last 21 months, if anything? The answer is “nothing,” of course, but I’m asking all the same.

Trainwreck Would’ve Worked As Drama

“People should look at comedies as dramas when they’re writing [them]. They should be a story that would work just as well without any jokes.” — Judd Apatow in just-popped (3.1.18) Masterclass trailer.

I’ve been saying this all along. A good comedy is just as story-savvy, character-rich and well-motivated as a good drama. Good comedies and dramas both need strong third-act payoffs. Take away the jokes, the broad business and the giggly schtick, and a successful comedy will still hold water in dramatic terms. But most comedic writers, it seems, start with an amusing premise, then add the laugh material, and then, almost as an afterthought, weave in a semblance of a story along with some motivation and a third-act crescendo that feels a little half-assed.

Remember Amy Schumer‘s eulogy at her dad’s funeral in Trainwreck? Exactly.

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DiCaprio and Pitt Are Too Old To Play “Struggling” Guys

Official Sony Pictures Announcement: “Quentin Tarantino’s ninth film will be titled Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, and will star Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. The film will be released worldwide on August 9, 2019.” Previous reports have said the film will shoot in Los Angeles sometime this summer.

Back to statement: “Tarantino describes it as ‘a story that takes place in Los Angeles in 1969, at the height of hippy Hollywood. The two lead characters are Rick Dalton (DiCaprio), former star of a western TV series, and his longtime stunt double Cliff Booth (Pitt). Both are struggling to make it in a Hollywood they don’t recognize anymore. But Rick has a very famous next-door neighbor…Sharon Tate.”


Sharon Tate, Roman Polanski at their Benedict Canyon home at 10050 Cielo Drive, sometime in ’68 or ’69.

First of all, it’s spelled “hippie.” (If you’re spelling it “hippy,” you’re referencing the 1963 Swingin’ Blue Jeans version of “The Hippy Hippy Shake.”) Second, Rick’s next door neighbors were big-cheese director Roman Polanski and actress-wife Sharon Tate, not Tate alone. (They weren’t separated or divorced.) Third, DiCaprio is 43 and looks it, and if a TV actor hasn’t hit it big or found a second career wind by his late ’30s, he’s probably fucked unless he’s a character actor. And fourth, Pitt is 54 and could maybe pass for 47 or 48, at best. You can’t play a struggling, trying-to-make-it guy when you’re 47…c’mon!

Pitt and DiCaprio could’ve played struggling guys a decade ago, when they were 44 and 33, respectively. That I would’ve believed.

Last November The Hollywood Reporter‘s Borys Kit reported that the film would cost in the vicinity of $95 million, which, when you add the usual absurd marketing costs, means it would have to gross $375 million worldwide to break even, according to “one source” Kit spoke to.

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Chappaquiddick Approaching

Appropriately Damning Chappaquiddick,” posted on 9.11.17: “John Curran‘s Chappaquiddick (Entertainment Studios, 4.6) is a tough, well-shaped, no-holds-barred account of the infamous July 1969 auto accident that caused the death of Kennedy family loyalist and campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne, and which nearly destroyed Sen. Edward Kennedy‘s political career save for some high-powered finagling and string-pulling that allowed the younger brother of JFK and RFK to more or less skate.

“Just about every scene exudes the stench of an odious situation being suppressed and re-narrated by big-time fixers, many of whom are appalled at Ted’s behavior and character but who do what’s necessary regardless.

“There’s no question that Curran, screenwriters Taylor Allen and Andrew Logan, dp Maryse Alberti and editor Keith Fraase are dealing straight, compelling cards, and that the film has stuck to the ugly facts as most of us recall and understand them, and that by doing so it paints the late Massachusetts legislator and younger brother of JFK and RFK (Jason Clarke) in a morally repugnant light, to put it mildly.

“Curran has crafted an intelligent, mid-tempo melodrama about a weak man who commits a careless, horrible act, and then manages to weasel out of any serious consequences.

Chappaquiddick is a frank account of how power works (or worked in 1969, at least) when certain people want something done and are not averse to calling in favors. EMK evaded justice by way of ingrained subservience to the Kennedy mystique, a fair amount of ethical side-stepping and several relatively decent folks being persuaded to look the other way.

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Looking For Tall Grass

I’m really hating the MSM’s refusal to discuss a plausible reason for White House Communications Director Hope Hicks having announced her resignation from the Trump White House earlier today. The only sensible-sounding theory was tweeted a while ago by Seth Abramson, which was taken from something he heard on MSNBC: “This is a classic ‘friends and family say get out now or go down with the ship‘ scenario.”

I would have theorized that on my own. Hicks is almost certainly leaving out of concern for what may happen down the road and to avoid any prosecutorial intrigues, or something in that vein.

A 29 year-old former model from Greenwich, Hicks is said to be a steady, reliable pro — very measured and low-key in her dealings with President Trump (she’s reportedly his longest serving aide, and is allegedly closer to him than daughter Ivanka) as well as fellow White House staffers, not to mention reporters, whom she apparently never talks to.

Is it horribly sexist to note that right-wingers like to hire hotties as staffers, and that Hicks fits that profile? She strikes me as being cut from the same cloth as Fawn Hall, the Oliver North secretary who testified from the Iran-Contra scandal. Are you telling me Hicks’ Barbie doll appearance wasn’t a factor in becoming a close Trump confidante, and that her having posed for bikini shots had nothing to do with anything?

Hicks had a sexual relationship with Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski during 2015 and ’16, despite his having been married to his wife, Alison Hardy, at the time. After that Hicks began an intimate relationship with former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter, who had to leave his post after spousal abuse charges surfaced in the press.

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Collusion Rundown

Last night the vigilant and knowledgable Seth Abramson (‪@SethAbramson‬) tweeted a thread that listed 20-plus instances of collusion between Donald Trump and Russia. His concluding tweet: “Everything I’ve written is taken from the public record, and is only a fraction of what Bob Mueller knows. So let’s stop reading or sharing ‘no collusion’ think-pieces.” Reposting for the record:

1. Steele Dossier intel says Sergei Lavrov ran a blackmail/money laundering scheme in which Trump got money, blackmail forbearance, and — later — election assistance in exchange for a pro-Russia policy and other perks. Trump then leaked classified intel to Lavrov in the Oval Office.

2. Trump aided his son in covering up a clandestine meeting with Kremlin agents — designed to transmit stolen Clinton material from Russia to Trump — by drafting a false statement and forcing Don to sign it under his own name. Trump knew Don would be called to testify on the meeting.

3. According to both Emin Agalarov and his father Aras, Trump signed a letter-of-intent to build Trump Tower Moscow using Putin’s real estate developer, banker, and permits man in November 2013 — a deal that was active until February 2017. Trump has lied about this deal from Day 1.

4. Trump held a secret meeting with Putin at an international conference, during which he discussed sanctions with the Russian strongman. His administration had no intention of acknowledging or admitting the meeting until a journalist happened to find out about it accidentally.

5. Trump admitted discussing U.S.-Russia relations with Putin in Moscow in 2013, and then, after announcing a run, retracted the claim, saying he “spoke to top officials” but “couldn’t say more.” His fixer, Cohen, sent a witness to the call to Stormy Daniels’ lawyer to kill the story.

6. An eyewitness to the judging process of the 2002 Miss Universe pageant in Puerto Rico has told Special Counsel Bob Mueller that Trump directly and unambiguously attempted to rig the pageant so that Miss Russia would win. Miss Russia was Putin’s mistress at the time. She won.

7. Through clandestine negotiations conducted by Sessions — lied about before Congress, under oath, by Sessions — Trump agreed to unilaterally drop Russia sanctions while he knew from briefings Russia was attacking America. His secret plan was discovered by the DoS post-inauguration.

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Toasting Used To Matter

I smoked cigarettes from the time I was 14 or 15 until 26 or thereabouts. Then I more or less “quit”, which means I would quit and feel great and then return to the fucking things and then quit again, etc. This went on for another decade or so with the relapse periods lasting a couple of weeks to a couple of months. I would always lapse in Europe because it’s different over there. I used to be into Davidoffs or Galouises when I was on French soil. I would love smoking the first two or three, and then hate myself as I finished off the pack.

I used to smoke all kinds of brands when I was in high school — Camels, Chesterfields, Lucky Strike, Parliament, Benson & Hedges.

Some Italian guy whose last name ended in a vowel (and who wore pegged pants, pointed shoes and a Brylcream pompadour) taught me to toast them when I was in junior high, and I totally bought into the idea that this improved their taste. It made sense — I was baking or double-browning the shredded tobacco leaves, and so they would naturally deliver more flavor in the same way that marshmallows taste better when you hold them over a campfire or Pepperidge Farm sandwich bread tastes better when you pop it into a toaster.