I would never wash any man’s feet…never ever, under any circumstances, forget it….even if I had a special squeegee-sponge-on-a-pole that would allow me to wash their feet from a distance of, say, 36 or 48 inches.

I would only wash slender, well-pedicured women’s feet, which means I would politely and respectfully decline if I was asked to wash the feet of women on the other end of the appearance spectrum.

Imagine if a red-robed Jesus Christ came down from Heaven and brought you to Donald Trump‘s hotel suite and told you to wash his feet as a gesture of universal love, charity and brotherhood. Can you imagine even looking at Trump’s fat, fungus-y pig feet? Jesus, now I can’t unthink this image….help!

You may have read that roughly six years ago there were two competing Leonard Berstein film projects, Bradley Cooper‘s Maestro and Jake Gyllenhaal and Cary Fukanaga‘s The American, which focuses mostly on Lenny and Felicia Montealegre‘s early years and deals specifically with Lenny’s dishonesty and duplicity about boyfriends along with Felicia’s telling him in so many words that she won’t be humiliated if they marry, etc. Not to mention their break-up and reconciliation.

Here’s Michael Mitnick‘s nearly six-year-old draft for the Gyllenhaal-Fukanaga Bernstein project, dated 5.21.18. The subtitle is “A Musician in Five Movements.” And it’s only 89 pages!

The Gyllenhaal project collapsed when Cooper landed the music rights.

Excerpt #1:

Excerpt #2:

Excerpt #3:

Excerpt #4:

An evidentiary hearing over the outrageous mess caused by the astonishingly stupid and arrogant affair between D.A. Fani Willis and prosecutor Nathan Wade begins in Atlanta on Thursday, 2.15

People who work together are naturally going to hook up. Fucking a high-level colleague is not a crime, Fani, but how dare you cavort and galavant in a cavalier and provable fashion and thereby give Trump and his co-defendants a huge gift by way of torrid-zone, Harold Robbins-style behavior?

Willis was quoted as saying “I’m only human.” That’s a cop-out!

And so, in the service of filling her cup, she and Nathan Wade, whom she’d hired to work on the Trump RICO case and had paid two-thirds of a million bucks to despite his lack of a serious top tier prosecutorial background, decide that it’s prudent and professional to go on relatively pricey romantic trips together? Willis actually calculated that the Trumpies wouldn’t get wind of this and exploit the optics for all they were worth?

Posted Wednesday morning in The New Yorker:

Imagine the response if some youngish, incorrigibly macho actor (Glenn Powell?) had appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone with his fingers caressing his tumescent, underwear-shrouded schlong and another photo of his damp face as he approaches orgasm, and was quoted talking effusively about how much he loves fucking women, etc.

This is a real cover. The interview author is Alex Morris.

I think it’s vitally important that Rolling Stone readers are being given a chance to savor the joys of intense, sweat-glistened lesbian orgasms. Oh, the shuddering bliss!

An HE commenter recently claimed to have attended a 1978 LACMA screening of the original version of Don Siegel’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers (‘56) — the version that (a) had no narration track and (b) ended with Kevin McCarthy howling “you’re next!” to the camera.

So I asked the great Joe Dante, who quickly lanced the balloon.

So much for that urban legend.

Denis Villeneuve’s Dune: Part Two pops on 3.1.24. Hollywood Elsewhere has a NYC screening on 2.20. Without any hints or implications, I’m asking the HE community what the interest levels might be. Are you mildly interested, very interested or hot-hot-hot?

All driver’s licenses include a photo of the licensee, right? So where’s the Connecticut DMV snapshot of Marilyn Monroe Miller on her 1958 license? And why doesn’t it list her specific address (232 Tophet Road in Roxbury, an historic home she shared with husband Arthur Miller)? Just listing the road won’t do. And “M. M. Miller”? C’mon.

The 66-year-old document will soon be auctioned in Wilton, and the highest bid so far is $12K.

If I was actively bidding at the forthcoming event I would do so in the spirit of North by Northwest’s Roger Thornhill. “12 dollars!” I would call out. The perplexed auctioneer would ask, “Don’t you mean $12 thousand, sir?” Casual HE reply: “No, no, I meant $12 dollars…that’s more than it’s worth.”

Opening today as legions of Bob Marley fans watch with flagging spirits and drooping eyelids.

Remember that moment in Goodfellas when Joe Pesci shoves an ice pick into the back of the head of Chuck Low‘s “Morrie” Kessler, the hugely obnoxious wig guy who was part of the Lufthansa heist? And Morrie goes “ahrgggghhh“?

That’s what happened this afternoon to Madame Web on Rotten Tomatoes. Not to mention Metacritic.

I wasn’t paying attention to this “Dunkin’ The Dunking” ad during the Super Bowl…

1:40 mark:

Teenager to Ben Affleck: “Jennifer Lopez‘s husband…that’s cool.”

Affleck to teenager: “I had an influence myself.”

Teenager: “So what do you do?”

Affleck: “Aahhh, I do some…acting and writing and directing of movies, which were a kind of longform entertainment popular in the…20th Century.”

Jennifer Lopez is 54 (born on 7.24.69) and she doesn’t look a day under 32. Ben is 51…no biggie.