Month: July 2020

Pelosi Channels Pesci

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Speaker Pelosi to Mika Breszinski on Morning Joe this morning: Orange Plague “will be leaving” the White House “following the 2020 election, whether he knows it or not. There is a process. It has nothing to do with a certain occupant of the White House [who] doesn’t feel like moving and has to be fumigated out of there.”

Fumigating is what people do to get rid of insects. Just so we’re clear on that.

“But it’s gonna happen. Either way, he’s goin’. I told you before, we tried everything to help him, you know that. He brought this on himself. And it’s landing on us.” — Joe Pesci in The Irishman, starting ar 1:37.

MLK Posthumously Cancelled

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Initially posted on 7.17 by Babylon Bee, re-posted here with equally satirical HE edits: Martin Luther King has been posthumously cancelled for stating 57 years ago that people of all races should be treated equally and judged “not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

The feeling today, particularly among “1619 Project” advocates, is that MLK was unfortunately blinded by Christian humanitarian instincts, and was therefore unaware of (or in denial about) the fundamentally heinous nature of white Americans, not to mention the fact that the U.S of A. is and was a Nation of Evil that was built upon slavery and is currently maintained and administered by relentless racism.

The basic progressive view is that it’s pointless to encourage nobler, gentler behavior by whites due to their incorrigibly racist attitudes, which are baked in the bone.

It is therefore best to posthumously (if regretfully) cancel Dr. King, as the beliefs espoused during his “I Have A Dream” speech (8.28.63) do not reflect the truth of things as BLM progressives now understand them.

Trump-Barr Goon Squads

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Respect must be paid to the Lincoln Project for the speed in which they assembled this spot last weekend. The first reports of the Department of Home Security goon squads in Portland, allegedly activated by Trump-Barr over frustration with what they regarded as half-measures by local law enforcement, surfaced late on Friday, 7.17. The spot was up and running by Sunday, 7.19. HE counter-opinion: I still say it’s tedious and mystifying for street demonstrations to continue day after day in Portland (and more recently in Seattle). Do Portland demonstrators feel that their point hasn’t been made after 54 days of non-stop street action?

“Tenet” Can’t Catch A Break; Ditto Exhibs

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Warner Bros. hasn’t once again bumped the release date for Chris Nolan‘s Tenet — it’s taken the allegedly mind-blowing, time-game thriller off the release calendar entirely.

Rather than shift the release for a third time (the previous dates were 7.17 and then 8.12) WB distribution is basically saying “this is infuriating and borderline ridiculous…we don’t know when we can open Nolan’s brilliant film but we’re also getting tired of setting new dates only to see them fall by the wayside. This country has become an international joke as far as battling COVD-19 is concerned, but at least we can open it in Europe before too long.”

When will Tenet open domestically? Sometime in mid to late October or more likely November? Sometime before 12.31.20? “We will share a new 2020 release date imminently for Tenet,” WB chairman Toby Emmerich said in a statement.

Things couldn’t be much worse for moviegoers and U.S. exhibitors in particular, already cut off at the knees by the pandemic and recently praying for late summer re-openings. But arrogant under-40 asshats (along with southerners and rural bumblefucks nationwide) said “no” by continuing to party at bars and cafes and spreading COVID-19 willy nilly.

Exhibitors are dying and the country’s economy is suspended in a medically induced coma, and these guys are socializing like there’s no tomorrow…could their behavior be any more loathsome or despicable?

Those who want to see Tenet sooner rather than later might want to fly to Europe, as it seems likely to open there first. “We are not treating Tenet like a traditional global day-and-date release, and our upcoming marketing and distribution plans will reflect that,” Emmerich explained.

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Housecleaning

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“Per HE commenters The Band and JBM, Drago, Save Farris, Hardcore Henry and Arpin Lusene are really making your website toxic. You need to ban half a dozen of the worst asshats to restore some fresh air to the site. Time for them to go. This is important. Hardcore recently said he ‘wasn’t getting any pussy.’ Your female readers are losing their lunch. DO SOMETHING.” — Producer pally.

Enough Already

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I realize that the anger over Trump and Barr’s militarized goons detaining protestors has given a new impetus to the Oregon street protests, but what kept these protests going before the goon troops arrived?

The coast-to-coast incendies of late May and early June have obviously chilled. BLM-ers in major cities across the nation have decided to downshift for the time being and take a breather.

But not in Portland. Or, to go by today’s reporting, Seattle. So what needs to happen before somebody calls a time out? Or is this a new and permanent way of life?

Do Portland protestors want some sort of no-confidence election? Mass resignations from local white officials? Resignations of the entire Portland police force so the city can be Camden-ized?


Demonstrators marching recently in Portland. [Photo credit: Dave Killen/The Oregonian, via Associated Press.]

Two days ago N.Y. Times opinion writer Charlie Warzel noted that the Portland street demonstrations, ignited by the Minneapolis murder of George Floyd on 5.25, have been happening for 50 days straight. (53 as of today.) Warzel wrote about the stress of being in constant combat, and of likely PTSD down the road. Will the Portland actions still be going after 75 days? 100?

Posted on 6.3.20: “Terrible convulsive traumas have sadly happened to this country from time to time. But they’ve never been long-term. A few days or a week, and then everyone began to gradually emerge and resume basic routines.

“JFK was shot on Friday, 11.22.63 and buried on Monday, 11.25. Four days of emotional gloom and devastation. And on Tuesday, 11.26, the world slowly started again. The grief never went away, of course, but the wheels of commerce and culture began to turn.

“John Lennon was murdered on 12.8.80. The shockwaves of anguish were devastating. Everyone wept. But after a few days or a week, the clouds began to dissipate.

“The Los Angeles Rodney King riots lasted for six days (4.29.92 to 5.4.92). The aftermath seeped and simmered. Nobody ever forgot what happened. But on the seventh day the world began to move on.

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Born Again

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Pretzels are junk, of course, but I lived for the damn things when I was a kid. (Along with red licorice, ice pops, Hershey bars and hot mashed potatoes.) Every now and then I’ll buy a small bag for old times’ sake, but they aren’t as liberally salted as they used to be. Without proper salting they taste dull. That all changed two or three days ago when I bought a bag of Good Health pretzels — gluten-free and sea-salted. My first thought was “my God, these are wonderful.” One bite and I was suddenly ten years old again. Not to mention free of gluten, wheat, egg, dairy, soy, cholesterol.

“I Have To See…”

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Yes, many older white voters have stopped supporting the Orange Plague, which is one reason why Joe Biden is ahead in national polling by double digits. But a hardcore contingent (roughly 37%) is sticking with this beast, and most of these voters are white. Mostly under-educated rurals but what a legacy for those of European descent. And for this I feel appalled and to some extent tribally ashamed, being a whitebread myself.

What kind of stubborn, intellectually stunted animal would vote for Trump at this stage, a stone sociopath whose denial, stupidity and mismanagement of the coronavirus threat caused or at least hastened the deaths of over 130,000 Americans and who clearly and obviously regards the world like a lying criminal?

The only defense I can offer is that there are millions of decent, fair-minded, well-educated American whites who despise Trump as much as I do. Descendants of decent, fair-minded forebears who lived politely and responsibly, paid their taxes, judged people by their character and mowed their front lawns on Saturday. Urban and suburban X-factor whites who currently watch MSNBC and read books and have visited Venice and Paris and wear Italian-made lace-ups, etc.

Mass Rejection

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I haven’t the slightest interest in catching Savage, a New Zealand street-gang drama in the vein of Once Were Warriors. (No mullets.) I couldn’t care less about Spinster, a spirited dramedy about a single woman facing her 40s. Ditto The New Mutants, a long delayed X-Men-related horror flick. No offense but Brandon Cronenberg‘s Possessor will have to wait. If I never see Hard Kill it’ll be too soon. Ditto Brian Skiba and Ryan Phillippe‘s The 2nd, a thriller that I wouldn’t see with a knife at my back. And that’s a double ixnay for Work On It, a dancing-competition flick, and for Words on Bathroom Walls, a coming-of-age drama that costars Charlie Plummer. And I wouldn’t see Project Power, a Jamie Foxx + Joseph Gordon-Levitt action flick about a superpower drug, if I was paid $20 or even $50 — I would refuse to watch it out of principle.

I would, however, pay to see Chris Nolan‘s Tenet, which won’t be opening until…what, mid-fall? Later? And I’d pay to see Unhinged, whenever and however that Russell Crowe road rage film finally streams. And I’m definitely looking forward to the new 4K Spartacus, which will arrive mid-week.

What a miserable time to be alive for film lovers.

Incident in San Felipe

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I’ve been to San Felipe twice, once with the kids in the mid ’90s and three or four years before that. One of the tourist attractions is the banana boat rides — inflatable, banana-shaped tubes hauled by a motorboat across the Sea of Cortez. It cost $20 back in the Clinton era. A couple of friends and I were on the back of one, and moving at a good clip — 25 or 30 mph. Then the motorboat driver made a too-sharp turn to the right, and in a flash we all got dumped. Less than a second. 27 or 28 years and I’ve never forgotten this. Ditto the tasty but inexpensive fish tacos they sell on San Felipe’s main drag near the beach.

Justice

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“A friend got pulled over in Jersey around Halloween. He had a pumpkin in the truck and told the cop that the pumpkin had rolled off the seat and jammed the gas pedal. The cop took his license and registration, went back to his vehicle, returned three or four minutes later and said, ‘Okay, I’m not going to give you a ticket.’ Breathing easy, my friend said, “Thank you, officer…much appreciated.’ And then the cop said, ‘But here’s the ticket for your pumpkin. He has 10 days to pay it.'” — posted on YouTube by “tackless”, sometime in ’17.