Month: August 2021

Before Geena Davis was cast as catcher and assistant manager Dorothy “Dottie” Hinson in A League of Their Own, Debra Winger had the role. In an 8.13 Telegraph interview, Winger says that she trained hard and took the part seriously, but decided to quit when director Penny Marshall cast Madonna as centerfielder Mae “All the Way” Mordabito.

Winger interpreted the Madonna casting as a sign that Marshall intended to make an insubstantial “Elvis film.”

If you ask me Winger was being a bit harsh in her assessment of the then-30-year-old pop singer and sometime actress. I had seen Madonna in the original B’way production of David Mamet‘s Speed-The-Plow in ’88, and while it was obvious that she wasn’t a gifted actress she wasn’t half bad. Another way of putting it is that Madonna held her own as well as she could. She certainly didn’t embarass herself of let down her costars, Joe Mantegna and Ron Silver.

Based on this performance alone, Madonna deserved at least a modicum of respect from Winger.

Winger’s final assessment of League: “As entertaining as [the final film] was, you don’t walk away going ‘Wow, those women did that.’ You kind of go ‘Is that true?’”

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Three or four thoughts come to mind in the wake of Variety‘s Joe Otterson reporting that a series adaptation of Field of Dreams has been ordered straight-to-series at Peacock, with Michael Schur serving as writer and executive producer.

Question #1: What is the difference between shameless and shameful? Or do both equally apply in this instance?

Question #2: The notion of expanding a perfectly made film (i.e., one with a beginning, middle and an end within the span of 107 minutes) into a series is hideous, of course. By this I mean conceptually hideous. On a line-by-line, scene-by-scene, episode=by-episode basis, the hideousness of such a series could potentially be off the charts.

Question 3: Phil Alden Robinson‘s 1989 original (based on W.P. kinsella‘s “Shoeless Joe”) imagined the return of several great players from baseball’s early days — Shoeless Joe Jackson, Eddie Cicotte, Buck Weaver, Chick Gandil (but not Ty Cobb!). As long as we’re digging in for a series, how about bringing back a more recent roster of legendary players — Willie Mays, Lou Gehrig, Hank Aaron, Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Maury Wills, Mickey Mantle, Jackie Robinson, Duke Snider, Stan Musial, Roger Maris, Hoyt Wilhelm, Curt Flood, Warren Spahn, et. al.?

Question #4: And what about the creation of two cornfield ghost teams so they could play each other? Or four teams? Or a whole league’s worth? Wouldn’t every dead baseball player worth his salt want to get in on this?

Otterson reports that Schur’s Peaccock series will “reimagine the mixture of family, baseball, Iowa and magic that makes the movie so enduring and beloved.”

Now that you mention it, let’s digitally de-age and reconstitute Burt Lancaster‘s Moonlight Graham back to his late 20s or early 30s, move him to Dyersville, have him play on a regular basis.

Film Threat‘s Chris Gore at 5:35 mark: “We live in a time now in which pop culture is consumed so quickly, that a new Disney+ series will come out on a Wednesday, and we’ve dissected every part of it and found every Easter egg and discussed it to death within 24 hours of its airing.

“The same goes with a film. It opens on a Thursday night or Friday, and by Monday it’s all been discussed.”

HE interjection: Unless it’s really good or masterful or mind-blowing in some way, most films begin to see their buzziness dissipate by Saturday night. Thursday night is the best time; back in the old days the slowpokers saw new films on Friday and Saturday night, and if they were really out of it on Sunday.

Seeing The Empire Strikes Back at Loews” Astor Plaza (Broadway and 44th) was one of the greatest viewing experiences of my life, Because I saw it opening weekend (a midnight show on 5.21.80) — totally cold, no reviews, no chat rooms, not a word about Luke’s lineage, nothing.

How many times have I passed along the story about Spooner Oldham and the recording of Aretha Franklin‘s “I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You)“? That song launched her career as a pop artist, and this magic moment happened during a single day’s session at Muscle Shoals’ FAME studios on 1.24.67.

I’ve told this story three or four times at least, but we’re now going to make it five because Respect fudges this little story — it destroys the purity of it. “I Never Loved a Man” was the major turning point in her young life. But in Respect Spooner (played by David Simpson) is no longer the quiet, unassuming session guy who saved the day. He’s now the co-hero because he and Aretha did it together.

I wasn’t in the studio that day so what do I know, right? But according to Muscle Shoals director Greg “Freddy” Camalier it was Spooner who came up with that bluesy Wurlitzer riff that was just right, and everyone knew it.

Bottom line: Muscle Shoals says Spooner did it. Respect says that Aretha and Spooner tag-teamed it.

It would seem that the Respect guys were uncomfortable with a young Alabama white guy being the hero of this particular scene, so they imagined their own version. The movie is called Respect, after all, and not Spooner, and so the Man Who Shot Liberty Valance legend has now been printed.

Apologies to Spooner but them’s the breaks.

Why does it seem as if the furies are constantly swarming down upon poor Haiti? Every time you turn around the country is taking it in the neck. Earthquakes, assassinations, hurricanes, Covid 19, criminal gangs, poverty. No sooner does the populace survive and start to weakly recover from one devastating tragedy when another one comes along. The only thing that hasn’t happened to Haiti is an attack by Kaiju monsters.

1297 Haitians are confirmed dead after a 7.2 earthquake rocked the Les Cayes district of Haiti (southwest peninsula) on Saturday morning…”officials in Les Cayes believe there are only about 30 doctors for about 1 million people“…c’mon, man.

N.Y. Times: “[This is a] devastating blow to a country that is still reeling from a presidential assassination last month and that never recovered from a disastrous quake more than 11 years ago. The recovery was being conducted as a tropical storm approaches and in the throes of a political crisis since President Jovenel Moïse was assassinated on July 7.

“The unsolved assassination, a leadership vacuum, severe poverty and systemic gang violence in parts of Haiti, a Caribbean nation of 11 million people, have left the government dysfunctional and ill prepared for a natural calamity.

“The main supermarket and smaller food and supply markets in Les Cayes collapsed, leaving about half a million people with dwindling supplies and worries that eventually there would be looting and fighting over basics like drinking water. The quake snapped the underground pipes of Les Cayes, causing flooding, and triggering some landslides, blocking the main road into Jeremie and complicating relief efforts there.

“Many hospitals and clinics were heavily damaged, and officials in Les Cayes believe there are only about 30 doctors for about 1 million people.

“Herve Foucand, a former senator, was using his small propeller plane to ferry people to Haiti’s capital. ‘I have 30 people in serious condition waiting for me,’ he said. ‘But I only have seven seats.'”

“Small towns surrounding Les Cayes were cut off by landslides and are believed to be even harder hit.”

An oldie but goodie…please excuse the laziness. At least I’ve added a few lines:

Posted on 12.21.15: Back in the 20th Century people used to ask actors for autographs instead of selfies. Eccentric as it may sound, fans would actually carry around autograph books for this purpose. It’s been suggested that now and then hardcore fans would ask for more than just a signature — they would ask the celebrity to write a quote he/she is famous for uttering in a film.

If you were an autograph hound and you ran into Gloria Swanson back in the day, you would ask her to write “I am big…it’s the pictures that got small.”

If you bumped into William Holden, you’d ask for “if they move, kill ’em.”

If you walked into an elevator and Warren Oates was standing there, you’d ask for “lighten up, Clarence.”

If you ran into James Cagney when he was vibrant and mobile, you’d ask for “made it, ma!…top of the world!” Or perhaps “I ain’t so tough.”

I would argue that if an alleged movie star doesn’t have a signature line or two, he/she isn’t really a movie star.

Tommy Lee Jones: “And then I woke up.”

What’s Sandra Bullock‘s signature line? Margot Robbie‘s? Emma Stone‘s?

Nic Cage? I strangely can’t think of one off the top.

Meryl Streep: Drawing a blank.

Bette Davis: “Fasten your seatbelts — it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Warren Beatty (originally suggested by “filmklassik“): “Let’s face it, I fucked ‘em all. I go into that shop and they’re so great looking, you know. And I’m doing their hair and they feel great, and they smell great. Or I could be out on the street, you know, and I could just stop at a stoplight or go into an elevator, or I…there’s a beautiful girl. I don’t know, I mean, that’s it…it makes my day, it makes me feel like I’m gonna live forever. And as far as I’m concerned, with what I’d like to have done at this point in my life, I know I should have accomplished more, but I’ve got no regrets. Maybe that means I don’t love ’em, maybe it means I don’t love you, I don’t know. Nobody’s gonna tell me I don’t like ’em very much.”

Harrison Ford: “I know.” (The Empire Strikes Back)

Jeremy Irons: “You have no idea.” (Reversal of Fortune)

Charles Grodin: “Pecan pie…they’ve got it back there!” (The Heartbreak Kid)

Daily Beast contributor Tom Teodorczuk posted an interview with 45 Years costar Tom Courtenay, and about halfway through Courtenay mentions that he was recently approached by an autograph hunter asking him to sign a piece of paper underneath the words “the personal life is dead” — one of the utterances of Strelnikov, his character in Dr. Zhivago.

Back in the late ’70s I recalled running into In Cold Blood costar Scott Wilson in a West Hollywood bar. Wimp that I am, I stifled an instinct to ask for an autograph along with the words “hair on the walls” — a Dick Hickock line from Truman Capote‘s nonfiction novel.

If I could persuade Brad Pitt to write down a signature line, I’d ask him to write “don’t cry in front of the Mexicans.”

If I’d run into Marlon Brando in the ’70s, I would have asked him to write either “whatta ya got?” (a line from The Wild One) or “Don’t be doin’ her like that” (from One-Eyed Jacks).

If I’d enountered Montgomery Clift I’d ask him to write “nobody ever lies about being lonely” — a Robert E. Lee Prewitt/From Here To Eternity line.

If I saw director-actor Alfonso Arau I would ask him to write “damn gringos!” Further suggestions along these lines?

Robert De Niro: “Are you talkin’ to me?”

Samuel L. Jackson: “I don’t remember askin’ you a goddam thing!”

Seth Rogen: “Heh heh heh heh yuk yuk yuk!”

Bruce Willis: “Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” or “Welcome to the party, pal!”

Al Pacino: “Hoo-hah!”

Jonah Hill: “Are those my only two options?”

Surely there are a few HE regulars who’ve seen Sian Heder‘s CODA (Apple TV+) over the last couple of days, and are willing to be honest and modify the enthusiasm levels a bit. The critics have gone apeshit for this film, and yet as agreeable and nicely handled as it is, CODA is not my idea of a a 96% Rotten Tomato score. The Metacritic community has given it a more appropriate 75% score.

As far as it goes, CODA is a pleasing, well-made family drama. There’s nothing wrong with this kind of film. It’s just not triple-A level, and that’s not a putdown — it’s merely a qualification.

Peter Rainer: “As effective as it is — and it is an effective tearjerker — it does go down the checklist of things to push your buttons on. It’s almost like a really well-designed Broadway show.”

The Telegraph‘s Tim Robey: “Sian Heder’s film [reduces] far too many of the family dynamics to the level of a bickering sitcom. The film is also obsessed to a fatuous degree with how much hilariously loud and vigorous sex her parents have. The film is way too busy playing things cute.”

“CODA especially suffers because of its release four months after Darius Marder’s tremendous Sound of Metal, a genuinely adventurous, formally experimental take on deaf issues which was also directed, written by and principally starred hearing individuals.”

I am naturally mindful of the dangers of the Delta variant, but it is also my firm belief that Delta Covid infections are mostly (almost entirely) an anti-vax bumblefuck problem. If you haven’t been vaccinated for reasons of stupidity, you’re vulnerable. Perhaps you or someone in your family will become sick or worse, God forbid. Life is choices and actions have consequences, and there’s just no basis for feeling any sort of sympathy for people who have refused the vaccine. They had a chance to protect themselves, and they blew it off.

I’ve no doubt that with all the safety protocols in place at the 2021 Telluride Film Festival, everything will be more or less cool. And within the bounds of reason and appropriate caution, I’m not sweating day-to-day life in West Hollywood either. When will this nightmare end? God knows. Were it not for the idiots (rural and urban refuseniks) the pandemic could have been over and done with by now.

Anyway, earlier today I happened to re-read a 3.23.20 post called “Introducing the Virusbro.” 17 months ago, give or take. The term “virusbro” came from HE commenter Manwe Sulimo.

“As far as I can assess there are five modes of COVID-19 behavior,” I wrote.

“First are the oblivious assholes who wander all over, take few precautions, don’t wash their hands much, behave as if nothing’s really changed, etc. These people are public enemies.

“Next in line are your casual responders — people who are mindful of the pandemic but are somewhat careless or sloppy-minded…taking walks, talking to friends on the street (I saw a few yesterday and the day before), washing their hands once or twice a day if that, willing to alter their behavior but not that much.

“Then there are your caution freaks who nonetheless yearn to taste a spoonful or two of the life they used to live — people like myself who wash their hands obsessively, never go outside for supplies (local market, CVS) without a face mask and plastic gloves, never stand less than three or four feet from anyone, who wash their hands when they get home and then again for good measure, and who occasionally indulge in modest rumblehogging.” [This was HE’s mode of behavior.]

“Fourth are your strict shut-ins who haven’t left their homes over the last 10 or 12 days due to the usual fears and who order all necessities online — the ideal citizen in this time of nightmare crisis. Tatyana freely admits to being this kind of conservative.

“Last and fifth is your semi-paranoid Howard Hughes-style germaphobe who pads around the house with plastic bags around his/her feet, washes hands frequently (which is good) and constantly wipes down kitchen counters and coffee tables (which is good) and who, when online, shrieks and scolds the fuck out of anyone who admits to careful shopping and taking an occasional breath of fresh air by lowering their face mask while standing on a patch of grass near a parking lot. Or while driving inside a car with all the windows closed.

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