Oh my god. These Trump outtakes are as humiliating as they are incriminating. pic.twitter.com/rI5PHrYx6s

— MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) July 22, 2022

Who wasn’t appalled to learn of Roman Polanski‘s sexual violation of Samantha Geimer in March 1977, when she was only 13? One presumes the moral outrage would be just as strong if Geimer had been 14 or 15. And yet rock stars enjoying sexual intimacy with way-too-young teenagers was par for the course in the mid to late ’50s, certainly as far as Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley were concerned.

Baz Luhrman never touched this aspect of Presley’s private life in Elvis, of course, but Alanna Nash‘s “Baby, Let’s Play House“, a seemingly credible, well-written 2009 book, reports that the sexually insecure Presley was totally into “cherries,” as he called them — girls who were barely pubescent.

Presley was apparently more into erotic fiddling around than becoming an actual Pablo Picasso-like conquistador. But carnal knowledge is carnal knowledge.

A 14 year-old named Frances Forbes and two girlfriends (Gloria Mowel, Heidi Heissen) participated in “pajama parties” with Presley, the book says. “Elvis didn’t pay any attention to me [when I was 13], but when I was 14, he noticed me,’ Forbes says. “14 was a magical age with Elvis. It really was.”

Presley was immediately sexual, however, with his future wife Priscilla, who was 14 when they met in Germany, when Presley was serving in the Army. Presley manager Colonel Tom Parker claimed that their relationship with chaste until Priscilla came of age….bullshit, says Nash.

In 1960 Presley reportedly fiddled around with Sandy Ferra, the 14-year-old daughter of the owner of the Cross Bow nightclub in L.A.’s Panorama City. In 1974, when Presley was 39, he took up with 14-year-old Reeca Smith.

When Chris Nolan‘s Oppenheimer opens next summer, will paying audiences once again be charmed by a perplexing sound mix that will prevent a large percentage from understanding significant chunks of dialogue?

I’ve listened to the Oppenheimer trailer 20 times, with headphones. This is the dialogue that I’ve heard:

Woman’s voice: “Dose-uh bottom veshdee changenee…I farted…this is your moment!” Man #1: “How could this man…WHAM!…escoh soo mahttur be so wide?…WHAM!” Man #2: “Biz howdar van bamboose!” Man #1: “You gave them the power to destroy themselves. It means the most important man who ever lived…the man who moved the earth.”

"You gave them the power to destroy themselves." 💣✨

Here's the better version of the #OPPENHEIMER Trailer Teaser (Video Recording) during the NOPE Screening.🎥 @mraxto#ChristopherNolan #CillianMurphy pic.twitter.com/ebnaCgXera

— Oppenheimer – A Film by Christopher Nolan (@OppenheimerATOM) July 21, 2022

Simon Pegg believes that Star Wars fans are the most toxic base. He’s probably right, but some of the issues have been more fickle or particular than the common understanding.

Pegg was alluding, of course, to the four big controversies that have spilled into the mainstream — the allegedly racist or sexist complaints about (a) Ahmed Best‘s performance as Jar-Jar Binks in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, (b) John Boyega in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, (c) Kelly Marie Tran in The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, and, most recently, (d) Moses Ingram as Reva Savander in Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Disney + series.

These episodes may have partially been driven by flat-out racism, and that’s appalling. Negative reactions to Boyega may have qualified in this regard.

But the revulsion toward Jar-Jar Binks was about the conception –the character, the dopey voice, the dialogue. The wrath wasn’t directed at Best but the ogre known as George Lucas.

I never had the slightest problem with Kelly Marie Tran‘s performance as Rose Tico, but those who complained were less focused on her Asian heritage (who cares?) and more about her weight — the fans didn’t like the idea of a chubby Star Wars protagonist.

And the complaint about Ingram wasn’t about her ancestry but about her Baltimore street accent, which didn’t fall in line with the crisp British speech patterns of previous Imperial villains.

“I’ve apologized for the things I said about, you know, Jar Jar Binks,” Pegg told SiriusXM’s Jim Norton and Sam Roberts. “Because, of course, there was a fucking actor involved. [Best] was getting a lot of flack and…it was a human being. And because it got a lot of hate, he suffered, you know, and I feel terrible about being part of that.”

Again — it was Jar-Jar, not Best, that people loathed.

Pegg: “There’s no sort of like, ‘Oh, you’re suddenly being woke.’ No Star Trek was woke from the beginning, you know? This is massively progressive. Star Wars suddenly there’s, there’s a little bit more diversity and everyone’s kicking off about it. And it’s…it’s really sad.”

Woody Allen joke from the early ’60s, passed along by regional “friendo”: “I received an offer from a vodka company to be a spokesperson…to shoot some TV ads. So one of their reps called and I said, ‘First of all, I don’t do TV ads, and I don’t drink so I can’t be much of a vodka salesman, and if I did drink vodka I probably wouldn’t drink your brand so I can’t see this happening.’ And the vodka guy said, ‘Well, that’s too bad because we were going to offer you a $500 thousand fee.’ And Allen said, ‘Uhhm, hold on…let me put Mr. Allen on the phone.'”

Every industry name whores out at one time or another. Some more than others (Michael Caine in The Swarm and Jaws 4) but they all mostly do it. Ryan Gosling held his nose and cashed the paycheck for The Gray Man, and in the bargain enjoyed all kinds of exotic travel. One of the reasons that Brad Pitt is allegedly worth $300 million is because he occasionally stars in films like Bullet Train, for which he was allegedly paid $30 million.

Except for Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s been a wealthy, marquee-brand actor for 29 years, and has never once starred in a piece of Bullet Train or Gray Man-level schlock. This Boy’s Life, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, The Basketball Diaries, Total Eclipse, Marvin’s Room, Titanic, The Man in the Iron Mask, Celebrity, The Beach, Don’s Plum, Catch Me If You Can, Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed, Body of Lies, Revolutionary Road, Shutter Island, Inception, J. Edgar, Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Revenant, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Don’t Look Up, Killers of the Flower Moon…26 respectable films, some more commercial or less arty than others but no franchise flicks and none aimed at the jizz-whizz action or gamer or Marvel crowd.

And neither is the fleurescent Eastmancolor mint green. Does HE have a slight preference? Does HE prefer the lemon-lime popsicle jacket worn by the darker-skinned Ryan Gosling, or the pale-skinned powder blue guy that Variety is chatting up? Answer: HE renders a firm “no” verdict to both. HE also says “no” (no offense) to The Gray Man, which Netflix will begin streaming tomorrow.

President Joe Biden testing positive for Covid despite being double (or is it triple?) vaxxed means that some Nervous Nellie governors may call for new mask mandates. If so, it’ll be Biden’s fault — he will have done this to all of us. If I succumb to Covid flu symptoms again, fine…I don’t care. But I’d almost rather die than wear a mask again.

Tail of the Pup, a storied and beloved Los Angeles hot dog stand if there ever was one, is back in business at 8512 Santa Monica Blvd. in WeHo. I’m genuinely sorry that I’m not there — 2700 miles to the east and I can smell the mustard and sautéed onions and sliced Jalapeño. Anthony Bourdain would have produced a great Parts Unknown segment about this. (Photos courtesy of Maxim Shapovalov.)