Nearly Half A Billion

Industry friendo: “Hired in the aftermath of #MeToo, no experience in features and someone known not to even read scripts while at NBC, Amazon’s Jennifer Salke has always been a smoke and mirrors executive, and right now Jeff Bezos is getting snowed by her hype and penchant for overspending. Amazon Studios’ first season of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power ia rumored to have a price tag of $465 million for the first season alone. And yet little buzz has resulted since Jackson’s original trilogy is all anybody needs. There’s no way to justify that cost. Somebody nicknamed it ‘Late Night Tolkien’ in reference to the fortune that Salke spent and lost on Mindy Kaling’s woke comedy, which ended up minus $40 million.”

Orwellian Fear Calling Shots

Sasha Stone‘s 8.18 essay about Hollywood’s bluepill attitudes and certain inconvenient truths that apply blends right in with Tom Leonard‘s Daily Mail piece about woke-minded films tanking or under-performing with Joe and Jane Popcorn.

Here’s an excerpt from Stone’s article:

“The Boomers are responsible for having created most of American culture up to Obama’s presidency. They are on their way out and eventually, the Millennials will be taking over as the dominant generation that is inventing and re-inventing American culture. That is good in some ways, bad in others.

“The Boomers aren’t really going to help us through this moment because they remember their counter-culture days and that makes them more sympathetic to the ‘woke’ movement.

“My generation, Gen-X, is the only group that has maintained most of our subversive, or questioning authority mindset, which is why you see a lot of Gen-Xers like me pushing the boundaries of what is and what isn’t acceptable to talk about, think about or write about. This is the first time in my life I’m grateful to be part of that generation.

“I come from the unique vantage point of having spent the last 28 years of my life, exactly half, online. That means I had a full life before smartphones, the internet and social media. But if you imagine everyone you know who is around 28 or younger, they have spent their entire lives with an internet, and much of it with social media and smart phones.

“Human evolution, culture, society — it’s all a dance. It’s about adaptation, survival, endurance. It is a test for who has the right stuff to make it through.

“Zoomers have come of age as social media natives. They know no other way of living except that they use their phones a lot. Everything that happens to them happens on their phones. They have already grown up knowing that they must self-censor or they will be swarmed and attacked by their peers.

“Unless they make a conscious effort to unplug, which I hope they do, Zoomers are never coming out of their online spheres. That is the future, full stop. But we’re not quite there yet. There is still a whole America that isn’t yet living online the way Zoomers do. They’ll turn out to buy tickets to movies if it’s something that catches their fancy but it isn’t something they’re committed to as previous generations were.

“Zoomers are most definitely in the Matrix and blue-pilled. They don’t yet know, most of them I figure, that they can rebel against the system if they want to. They tend to be mostly agreeable and compliant when it comes to a society ordering them how to think, speak, behave, etc.

“But there will come a day when that changes. They will likely push back against all of it. And THAT, my friends, will be a time to be alive.

“Right now, though, we’re dealing with a media that doesn’t quite get the message yet about why people are going to tune out content that they see as inorganic and contrived to serve a specific agenda. The new religion of the [wacko] left is more or less like any religion. Where virtue is the goal, nothing else can survive. The idea is that they want to be good, and so all movies have to also be about being good.”

From Kat Rosenfeld‘s “The Progressive Puritans Will Fail,” an 8.18.22 Uherd essay:

“Here’s the thing: you can only see them online, and here they are preaching to the choir in an otherwise empty church. It is only the true believers who are left, feeding on and off each other, stewing in fear and resentment while everyone else goes outside and has fun. And as loud as they might seem to themselves, and each other, within the confines of their echo chamber, the truth is that outside of it they’re not just irrelevant, but nearly invisible. Their power, and their numbers, are diminished by the mere existence of normal people living normal lives.”

A Tragedy That I Missed This

I’ve visited Paris 14 or 15 times since the ’70s, and not once have I attended a concert at the Stade de France. This mass performance of The Clash’s “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” happened during the summer of ’19, and I’m saying here and now that it breaks my heart that I didn’t share in this moment of pure rhapsodic power-chord joy.

15-and-Unders vs. Traditional Cinema

A little more than three years ago N.Y. Times reporter Kyle Buchanan posted an intensively researched piece about the future (if any) of movies, especially in the minds of Millennials and Zoomers. The piece was called “How Will the Movies (As We Know Them) Survive the Next 10 Years?“.

The basic answer was that movie loyalty is a thing of the past and that cinema culture as most of us know it isn’t likely to survive.

The keeper quote was from Kumail Nanjiani. The basic thrust was about 20somethings not being into movies as a rule, and watching them sporadically at best. The quote is pasted below. It would seem that Nanjiani’s “friend who directs big movies” was on to something.

Today the youngest Zoomers are ten years old, and anyone younger is Gen Alpha. For years the running joke with Millennials and Zoomers is that ADD isn’t a bug but a feature. I’m presuming that the Kumail observation goes double or triple when it comes to 15-and-unders.

Ask a typical tween or young teen what their favorite films are and a good percentage, I’m guessing, will give you a slightly quizzical look. Focusing on anything longer than a TikTok video is a challenge. Phone screen and streaming content, sure, but I would be hugely surprised to hear that even a small percentage watch “films.”

We all understand that attention spans, at least as far as scripted stand-alone dramas and comedies lasting 90 minutes or longer are concerned, have been diminishing among younger people since the ‘80s.

When I was a tween and young teen, I was watching actual films made by name-brand filmmakers. I saw King Kong and The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms when I was eight or nine. I saw and loved Red River when I was ten. I knew who Julie Christie, Terrence Stamp, David Hemmings, Olivia Hussey, Paul Newman, John Wayne, Cary Grant, Kirk Douglas and Kenneth Tobey were. I watched adventures, comedies. My mother used to go to Ingmar Bergman films and come home and rave about them.

What do I actually know about where young Zoomers and Generation Alpha are at in terms of cinema? Not much but I can guess.

Present-tense despair: If there was ever a demographic whose taste in films represents a blend of Dante’s Inferno (or my idea of it) and a metaphor for the ruination and death of cinema as you and I and people like David Fincher, Ari Aster, Todd Field, Peter Farrelly, Luca Guadagnino and Chris Nolan know it, it’s almost certainly tweens and young teens of 2022.

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Hilarious Smile Drop

In no way, shape or form is HE criticizing Ben Affleck for his abrupt mirth abandonment in this video clip. I’m applauding him, in fact. We all do this at parties, but Affleck does it better. The laugh and the smile disappear in the space of one-third of a second. You can’t say it’s not funny. It’s like a rehearsed bit in a comedy.

@faux.celeb.love Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck. His smile drops so fast 😳 ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ #jlo #jenniferlopez #benaffleck #batman #celebgossip #teenagedirtbagbaby #foryoupage #yourfyp #popculture #celebrities ♬ original sound – faux.celeb.love

Looks Like D.C. Comics Villain

Those glaring dark eyes. That butch-boss Marine haircut. The garish rouge splotch on her cheeks. Those thick red lips. Those dangling earrings. All she needs is a big fat lighted cigar, the kind that Edward G. Robinson smoked in Key Largo.

Wyoming Republican House candidate Harriet Hageman, who defeated Liz Cheney in Tuesday’s Republican Wyoming primary, looks like an ally (or perhaps a nemesis) of Colin Farrell‘s Oswald “Oz” Cobblepot. She has the grotesque super-villain look down cold.

Queerty‘s Graham Gremore: “Despite appearing to draw her makeup inspiration from Tina Burner’s makeover of Rosé on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Hageman actually hates LGBTQ people.”

Rats (Jones, Ingraham) Leaving Sinking Trump Ship

Lunatic rightie Alex Jones has bailed on Donald Trump as a Presidential contender. Florida governor Ron DeSantis, he says, is “way better than Trump.” Yesterday Fox News headliner Laura Ingraham, a longtime Trump friend and political ally, said that exhausted Republican voters might be deciding that “it’s time to turn the page” on Orange Plague.

HE to Netflix: Stream 300-Minute Version of “Das Boot”?

As a tribute to the recently passed Wolfgang Petersen, perhaps Netflix would consider streaming the extra-long version of Das Boot (’81), which runs around 300 minutes? Or, failing that, Petersen’s 209-minute “Director’s Cut”?

Wiki Excerpt: “Das Boot was partially financed by German television broadcasters WDR and the SDR, and more footage was filmed than was shown in the theatrical version.

“A version of six 50-minute episodes was transmitted on BBC2 in the United Kingdom in October 1984, and again during the 1999 Christmas season. In February 1985 three 100-minute episodes were broadcast in Germany.

“Peterson then edited a 209-minute version, Das Boot: The Director’s Cut, combining the action sequences from the feature-length version with the character development scenes from the miniseries released to cinemas worldwide in 1997, also improving audio quality.”

“I Do Like Stabbing”

Wednesday is being called a comedy-horror series, except it’s not a horror thing at all — it’s dry social satire. Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams, the latest in a long line but this time with Tim Burton-level production values and a Burtonesque sense of humor.

Suddenly My “Beer Run” Blood Is Up

Peter Farrelly‘s The Greatest Beer Run Ever (Apple+, 9.30) will have its big debut at the Toronto Film Festival, probably sometime between 9.8 and 9.14, I’m guessing. The trailer is excellent and so is the poster, and I’m suddenly I’m thinking “hey, wait…this might be something.”

We all know that wokester critics are going to be gunning for Farrelly in order to punish him for Green Book having won the 2018 Best Picture Oscar. Somewhere between 96% and 97% of the moviegoing world loved that film (me too) but the wokesters did everything they could to kill it, and so they’re determined to pay Farrelly back. (They’ll deny this, of course.)

We also understand that a film about a New York working-class paleface with a meathead accent travelling thousands of miles to bring beer to his Vietnam War-serving bruhs in ’67 and ’68 is going to be attacked six ways from Sunday…too white, too apolitical and not guilty enough for starters. Or so it would seem, I should say, based on the trailer and to some extent John “Chick” Donohue and Joanna Molloy’s 2020 book.

But you can also tell Farrelly’s film is a grade-A thing — first-rate writing, acting, cinematography, atmosphere, the works — and that slivers of moral ambiguity have been slipped between the story beats.

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