In the wake of yesterday’s riff about the failure of Passengers, a few commenters were saying that between this and the flopping of Joy (which was far from an out-and-out catastrophe — it didn’t catch on very well domestically but it earned $101 million worldwide) Jennifer Lawrence‘s superstar rep is in trouble and that she needs a hit badly, and that perhaps Darren Aronofsky‘s scary flick (sometimes referred to as Mother) will do the trick, etc.

Bad luck. It happens. Nobody can make a weak or crucially flawed film into a hit. She’s fine. For now.

JLaw pulls down big-star fees because (a) she fronted the mediocre but curiously successful Hunger Games franchise (four films that thematically spoke to Millenials), (b) she’s got that naturally intense X-factor thing like few actresses of her generation (the same quality that Emma Stone, Carey Mulligan and even Amy Schumer exude), (c) her Oscar-winning Silver Linings Playbook performance flooded the room with historic alpha vibes, and so (d) the industry is trusting or hoping that even though JLaw lacks the ability to lay golden eggs on her own dime (if you’re in a movie that doesn’t work then THAT’S THAT — no amount of star-power charisma can save it) sooner or later the combination of Lawrence and the right property will result in another bonanza — if not another franchise then at least another big commercial hit or an important success d’estime.

Once it’s been recognized that you’re an exceptional actor who has the ability to really connect with Joe and Jane Popcorn, that you’re good enough to win an Oscar and that you’ve had something to do with a hugely successful franchise, it takes many years and a herculean effort to convince Hollywood that you’re not worth the candle.

British recording artist George Michael, whom I honestly haven’t thought a great deal about since a certain 1998 incident hit the news wires, has passed at age 53. Why did he ascend at such a relatively young age? There are indications in the “Personal Life” section of Michaels’ Wikipedia page that drug use might have had something to do with it. Born Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, Michael was a busker on the London underground train system before forming Wham! with Andrew Ridgeley in 1981. A statement in a Guardian article says Michael died “peacefully” at his home in Oxfordshire, England.

What’s the one Christmas muzak standard you always hear playing on loop inside retail stores coast to coast, starting around Thanksgiving and never ceasing until New Years’ Day? Editor’s note: My posting this video doesn’t suggest that I’ve backed off on my belief that Jimmy Fallon played a small but significant role in helping Donald Trump get elected. He did, and as far as I’m concerned he’ll never live it down.

I haven’t posted the one-armed piccolo player scene from Robert Altman‘s California Split (’74) in nearly five years. It last appeared on 1.17.12. There are tens of thousands who’ve never seen this, I’m sure.

Around noon today Debbie Reynolds tweeted that daughter Carrie Fisher is in “stable” condition and therefore presumably out of the woods, at least for now. Fisher suffered a serious heart attack two days ago on a London-to-LAX flight. By the way: Check out this page from Fisher’s Empire Strikes Back script (dated 3.19.79) and note the improvements to the dialogue that she wrote, most of which were used for the film. Fisher obviously had a knack for honing superfluous dialogue and adding flavor.

Link to larger page view

Warner Bros. publicity managed to manipulate this Casablanca publicity still to make it seem as if Humphrey Bogart was heftier than costar Ingrid Bergman. No way was Bogart’s head this big compared to Bergman’s. The 5’9″ Bergman was actually taller than Bogart by two inches, and could have probably taken him in a wrestling match. The below group shot attempted an even more radical resizing.

(L. to r.) Claude Rains, Paul Henreid, Bergman, Bogart.

Monday Update: Whoda thunk it? Passengers, by any yardstick a serious underperformer, surged on Sunday and now has a five-day tally of $30 million and change. It could rack up another $4 or $5 million today for a grand six-day total of $34 or $35 million — roughly $10 million shy of expectations but a slightly less embarassing performance.

Sunday, 12.25: Morten Tyldum and Jon Spaihts‘ Passengers looked like a tank almost immediately, and the fact that it had only made $11,825,201 after three days of play (12.21 thru 12.23) indicated a serious shortfall. On 12.22 Deadline‘s Anthony D’Allesandro wrote that Passengers had to bring in “$45 to $50 million in its first six days” to maintain a respectable pose. (I’m told that two weeks ago the Sony release was actually tracking to hit $55 million within the first six.)

This morning’s Deadline update projects a four-day tally of $19.3 to $20 million and grand six-day total of $26.6 to $28 million. At best that’s $17 million short of the 12.22 D’Allesandro projection. Passengers, face it, is a dead herring in the moonlight, certainly in relation to cost.

If Tyldum, Spaihts and Sony execs had taken the post-mortem advice of Indiewire‘s David Ehrlich and gone with his alternate ending (i.e., Chris Pratt heroically dies in Act Three and then a year or two later Jennifer Lawrence realizes that she needs to wake someone up herself to avoid a lifetime of solitude), the film would at least have a rich ironic ending, and this might have turned the whole ship around.

Happy Holidays dear ones! Who gives the best hugs in your family? That should be a contest you win. Practice makes perfect 😉🎄#MerryChristmas pic.twitter.com/IT6LdSauqe

— Jessica Chastain (@jes_chastain) December 25, 2016

A Christmas statement released by RNC chair and Donald Trump henchman Reince Priebus exploded three or four hours ago.

“Over two millennia ago, a new hope was born into the world, a savior who would offer the promise of salvation to all mankind,” the statement by Priebus and RNC co-chair Sharon Day said. “Just as the three wise men did on that night, this Christmas heralds a time to celebrate the good news of a new King. We hope Americans celebrating Christmas today will enjoy a day of festivities and a renewed closeness with family and friends.”

Call me deluded or partisan, but the second sentence clearly contains a reference to a “new,” present-day king — i.e., Orange orangutan.

Let’s break it down, shall we? The phrase “Just as the three wise men did on that night” obviously refers to the night Yeshua of Nazareth was allegedly born in Bethlehem, or 2016 years ago. And so “this Christmas” — i.e., the one everyone is celebrating or acknowledging right now, and I mean here in the good old USA — “heralds a time to celebrate the good news of a new King.” There’s no way Yeshua can be considered a “new” king, brah — he’s classic rock, an oldie but goodie, a centuries-old myth.

Let’s also say a prayer of compassion for those poor, deprived souls across the globe and the seas of time whose cultures never embraced Christianity or who personally never bought into it, and therefore lived their sad, barren lives without the faintest hope of salvation.

And what’s with the capitalizing of “K” in “king”?

The all-new Alien Follies with Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, Guy Pearce, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride (obviously a dead man), Demián Bichir, Billy Crudup and James Franco. Can we take a vote on a preferred death list? The ones I’d most like to see “get it” (and in this order) are Fassbender, McBride, Waterston. We already know Crudup will be John Hurted. 20th Century Fox will open Alien Convenant on 5.19, or on the third day of the Cannes Film Festival (5.17 to 5.28).