The other day I mentioned the classic character arc known as the Three D’s — desire, deception, discovery. Comedies with moral underpinnings are mostly out the window these days, but The Proposal, which snuck last weekend, seems to adhere to the Three D structure. The main character resorting to elaborate subterfuge to obtain temporary satisfaction, grappling with a moral-ethical quandary as a result, and finally coming to a resolve that puts an end to the bullshit. Surely some HE readers saw it last weekend. Verdict?

The Sun‘s Gordon Smart has posted the first-anywhere (I think) review of Sacha Baron Cohen‘s Bruno (Universal, 7.10). There are any number of tumescent shock pull-quotes but let’s go with this one for starters: “To say Bruno makes uncomfortable viewing is an understatement of Battle of Britain proportions.

“When I wasn’t giggling like a 14-year-old, I was cowering behind my hands. And I wasn’t just hiding from the acres of kugelsack, Bruno’s word for the lunchbox, shown during the 90 minutes.The term will become the new ‘Booyakasha’ or ‘Jagshemash.’

“Bruno has only been in love twice. Once for just seven minutes with ’80s pop act Milli Vanilli and the second time with his pygmy boyfriend who dumps him when he loses his TV show. And here lies a warning — the pygmy sex scene is one of the most horrific incidents ever committed to celluloid.

“I’m talking fire extinguishers, champagne bottles and mechanically adapted fitness equipment. Teenage boys should under no circumstances watch this with their parents.

“Just like with Ali G and Borat, Sacha-as-Bruno tricks famous faces into doing ridiculous interviews.” The duped include singers Paula Abdul and Latoya Jackson, “who both leave within minutes after being served sushi on a naked Mexican.

“Bruno decides to become heterosexual ‘like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kevin Sacey.’ And an interview with a pastor, who specializes in turning gay men straight, is priceless.

“A Jerry Springer-style talk show scene in Dallas, when Bruno has his ‘adopted’ African baby confiscated, will go down [as one of] Baron Cohen’s…three best scenes.

“The character does lose a bit of steam towards the end but the musical climax, with cameos from Chris Martin, Bono, Sir Elton John and Snoop Dogg is a fitting finale.”

No one matches my strategic expertise at missing screenings of much-admired films. Like The Cove, for instance. The next Manhattan screening happens the day I fly back from LA…great! Louie Psihovos‘ documentary, which won the Best Documentary Audience award at last January’s Sundance Film Festival, is basically about mass murder. An engaging description was posted today by Rope of Silicon‘s Brad Brevet, to wit: “An intelligent/action/adventure/Ocean’s Eleven-like horror film wrapped around a tale of redemption and ultimate revenge — oh, and it’s a documentary.”

Roadside Attractions will begin a gradual rollout on 7.31.

You don’t need a review of Michael Bay‘s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to know where it’s coming from. The soul of the film (if the word “soul” doesn’t constitute an oxymoron in this instance) is contained in the trailer‘s opening bit. Shia “no no no!” Lebouf tells Bumblebee that he wants to “talk about the college thing, okay?” And the amped-up “Bee” starts swaggin’ to the sounds of the Pointer Sisters‘ “I’m So Excited.” The mentality is aimed at mall monkeys.

But if you want a review, here‘s Variety‘s Jordan Mintzer: “With machines that are impressively more lifelike and characters that are more and more like machines, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen takes the franchise to a vastly superior level of artificial intelligence. As for human intelligence, it’s primarily at the service of an enhanced arsenal of special effects, which helmer Michael Bay deploys like a general launching his very own shock-and-awe campaign on the senses.

“Otherwise, little seems new compared to the first installment, except that this version is longer, louder, and perhaps ‘more than your eye can meet’ in one sitting.”

In the wake of last night’s pained and needlessly solemn apology from David Letterman — the previous “apology” was funnier, more than sufficient and a lot more honest — will the Palin-supporting asshats call off their scheduled demonstration, slated to happen at 4:30 today in front of the Ed Sullivan theatre? The Palins and their ilk — politically prehistoric, nakedly scheming embodiments of backwater hypocrisy, smallmindedness and earth-plundering selfishness — have no shame, let alone grace or class. If by clapping my hands three times….

Update: Sarah Palin has issued a statement accepting Letterman’s apology.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the Iranian version of George W. Bush. Both have professed a devotion to religious fundamentalism but in fact owe(d) their power to secretive cabals fronted by cold-eyed men. They’ve both appealed to and depended upon the rube mentality as a base of popular support. Both have shown outward hostility to other nations. Both have been terrible for their economies. And both have constantly said stupid, embarrassing things.

The U.S. now has Barack Obama, and a large segment of Iran just decided they couldn’t stand the idea of another four years with their version of Bush.

Just as there is a long list of films that I can watch and over again, there are also those that I will never again submit myself to.

I’m not talking about films I don’t care for. I’m talking about films that I wouldn’t watch again if someone offered me a cash bribe. Would you sit through Star Wars: The Phantom Menace for $20 bills? Would you watch A.I. or Always again? The Cannonball Run II? Sylvester Stallone‘s Cobra? Practical Magic?

Robert DeNiro during first Russian Roulette scene in Michael Cimino’s The Deer Hunter

I was moved to write this when I learned of an upcoming British Bluray of Michael Cimino‘s The Deer Hunter. Oh, the memories. That idiotic Russian Roulette device. Those absurdly majestic Northwestern mountain peaks that happen to be in rural Pennsylvania. Those working-class townspeople singing a wedding song like practiced professionals in a Russian opera. The relentlessly cloying and obnoxious working-class camaraderie.

The Deer Hunter is one of the most full-of-shit films about the American proletariat ever made. The way it simultaneously used and ignored the Vietnam War was sickening.

In a piece called “When Francis Coppola Met Jim Jarmusch: The Rain People to Tetro,” Speedcine‘s Reid Rosefelt writes that Coppola’s The Rain People “isn’t even mentioned in [his] Wikipedia biography, and perhaps that’s understandable, as it hasn’t been seen by a lot of people and few would argue it’s one of his best films.” (Actually, Wikipedia does mention it; there’s just very little discussion.)

“Warner Brothers never released a DVD, and has only recently made it available as a special order from WBShop.com or as a download.

“The Rain People (’69) is a low-key road movie about an unhappy Long Island housewife (Shirley Knight) who flees her marriage when she finds out she’s pregnant. Driving cross-country with no set destination, she picks up a brain-damaged ex-football player (James Caan), who she gradually becomes responsible for, and has an encounter with a sexually aggressive highway patrolman (Robert Duvall).

“At the time the film was generally perceived as a bit arty, and as a gloomier mirror image of Easy Rider. Nowadays it’s seen as an imperfect but ambitious and important step in Coppola’s development. Dave Kehr wrote that The Rain People was the “first statement of Coppola’s perennial theme — crippling loneliness within a failed family.”

“What thrilled me about The Rain People way back when wasn’t the movie itself, but the way Coppola made it. He loaded a small production team into a handful of vans and cars and made the same trip that Shirley Knight’s character did through New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Nebraska.

“This all was very vivid for me at the time because his friend and American Zoetrope partner George Lucas documented the trip in Filmmaker: A Diary by George Lucas. I didn’t see Lucas’s film then, but there was an edited featurette that I saw many times. I have a very strong memory of Coppola Francis Coppolasaying in the featurette that he imagined a day when each town could have its very own film crew.

“As a teenager making my little Super-8 films, I found this incredibly inspiring. Here was this freewheeling traveling carnival, experimenting and improvising as they rambled from town to town. They were young and cool cinematic hippies challenging the ‘man’ (Hollywood). Coppola even had a beard — just like Jerry Rubin! I would have given anything to be riding in that caravan.

“If I had been able to see the whole Filmmaker I would have seen a very different portrait of Coppola. He was no hippie — he was a hot-head born to be pissed off. He fought with Shirley Knight, and raged against a DGA spokesman on the phone, escalating a demand for another AD to a world-level crisis and a potential end to all hope for the future of American cinema.”

Forbes reported last night that Viacom Inc’s Paramount Pictures “could merge with Sony Pictures, Universal Studios or another movie studio amid a wave of consolidation in the industry over the next few months.” The story was a summary of remarks from veteran investor Mario Gabelli in the latest issue of Barron’s.

Gabelli, the chief executive of Gamco Investors, Inc, which owns shares of Viacom, “said he expects dealmaking among movie studios as they seek to cut costs.

“Today there are seven or eight motion-picture studios,’ Gabelli said. “A round of consolidation will occur in the next six to 12 months because of the costs of financing, prints and advertising, the benefits of globalization and such. We hear talk of something going on.”

The anti-Ahmadinejad, anti-rigged election revolt in Iran just keeps getting fiercer, bloodier and more dramatic by the minute. A guy has been killed, others have been shot and a crowd ten times bigger than the exodus in Cecil B. Demille‘s The Ten Commandments filled the streets of Tehran earlier today. It feels as much like a movie as a news story. It’s Reds, Z and The Battle of Algiers rolled into one. It’s Ten Days That Shook The World on Twitter.

First, this morning’s stunning news that Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has called for a inquiry into claims that the election was rigged in favor of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — obviously a rollback and a re-think. And 90 minutes ago came this Washington Post report that “gunfire from a pro-government militia killed one man and wounded several others after hundreds of thousands of chanting opponents of Ahmadinejad marched in central Tehran to support reformist leader Mir Hossein Mousavi. The parade was estimated to be five miles long.”

11 days and counting until the N.Y./L.A. platform break of Kathryn Bigelow‘s The Hurt Locker. No Metacritic reactions are posted but the current 89% positive Rotten Tomatoes rating is probably indicative of critical reaction to come. Will it matter? Will the no-Iraq-movies-under-any-circumstances crowd stick to their guns? Will the idea that it’s actually a suspense thriller by way of Aliens take hold? Tick, tick, tick, tick…

One of the best reviews so far was written by Time‘s Richard Corliss nine months ago, way back at the Venice Film Festival. It’s titled “A Near-Perfect War Film.” The last two graphs read as follows:

“On his first mission, Sgt. James (Jeremy Renner) releases a cloud of smoke, protecting him from sharpshooters but obliterating his comrades’ view of him. (There’s another company ready to cover him closer to the action.) A taxi has just edged toward the suspected device; he tells the driver to back out of the area. No movement. James walks closer, repeats the order; stillness. He puts his gun against the man’s head: ‘Wanna back up?’ The car slides into reverse. ‘Well, if he wasn’t an insurgent,’ somebody says, ‘he sure is now.’

“Finding a string nearly buried in the street dirt, James finds it attached to seven bombs and matter-of-factly snaps the wire for each. OK, that’s done. Piece of cake, seven slices.

“It’s a creepy marvel to watch James in action. He has the cool aplomb, analytical acumen and attention to detail of a great athlete, or a master psychopath, maybe both.

“A quote from former New York Times Iraq expert Christopher Hedges that opens the film says, ‘War is a drug.’ Movies often editorialize on this theme: the man who’s a misfit back home but an efficient, imaginative killing machine on the battlefield. Bigelow and producer/screenwriter Mark Boal aren’t after that. They’re saying that, in a hellish peace-keeping operation like the U.S. deployment in Iraq and Afghanistan (James’ previous assignment), the Army needs guys like James.”

The N.Y. Daily News is reporting that a right-wing South Carolina activist named Rusty DePass was busted last Friday for writing a charming remark about Michelle Obama on his Facebook page.

And a few proud U.S. citizens are planning to stage a “Fire David Letterman rally” Tuesday afternoon (i.e. tomorrow) at 4:30 pm in front of the Ed Sullivan theatre (i.e. where Letterman tapes the show). “Press contacts” for the event, listed on an apparently official site, include New York State Assemblyman Brian Kolb, attorney Gwendolyn Lindsay-Jackson, and rightwing radio talk-show host John Ziegler.