Tatiana has just told me she doesn’t want to attend this evening’s Licorice Pizza screening because the romantic couple in question, played by 29 year-old Alana Haim and 18 year-old Cooper Hoffman, isn’t attractive enough. They don’t have that swoony sexy-romantic charisma thing going on, she said.

“At least one of them should be attractive,” she emphasized, “but both of them unattractive? Oh no…”

Los Angeles Friendo: “This is like the reverse of Frankie and Johnny, that 1991 relationship drama with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer. Everyone said it was totally unbelievable that drop-dead beautiful Pfeiffer would be cast as a plain-Jane waitress…it didn’t wash.”

Back-east Friendo said a similar thing earlier today. Licorice Pizza, he said, “sounds like Paul Thomas Anderson‘s version of Moonrise Kingdom.” HE to Back-east Friendo: “Yeah. With two zero-charisma leads. One pushing 30, the other in his late teens.”

Back-east Friendo: “That’s the Moonrise formula! Two young lead characters that no one in his right mind could give less of a fuck about.”

Does anyone remember a 1945 film called The Enchanted Cottage? Robert Young played a disfigured war veteran and Dorothy Maguire was a very plain and (it is suggested) homely woman. They fall in love with each other, and gradually they become more and more attractive because we’re seeing their features through their eyes.

Another unlikely pair came along in Robert Altman‘s A Perfect Couple (’79). Paul Dooley and Marta Heflin as a vaguely dorky-looking couple, age-separated by 20 years.

Can anyone recall other funny-looking twosomes in noteworthy films?

“Land of plenty. They were always so confident that God was on their side. Now I think they are not so sure.”

It’s not just that Chloe Zhao‘s Eternals has shitty aggregate ratings (49% Rotten Tomatoes, 53% Metacritic) as well as the lowest-ever score for a Marvel film; it’s also being trashed because presumably toxic males don’t like it when a woman directs an action film. I haven’t hate-watched it yet — does Davis have a point?

#Eternals has the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score of any MCU film. “I think this speaks to a larger problem…any time a woman takes on the action genre, people come harder at that filmmaker,” says @ByClaytonDavis. | Variety The Take presented by @AppleTV https://t.co/XFigklsxMg pic.twitter.com/X0J0Nrn8Fj

— Variety (@Variety) November 5, 2021

After serving a 20-year term in Spandau Prison for exploiting slave labor during World War II, the urbane and well-spoken Albert Speer — Nazi armaments minister from ’42 through’45, grand architect and Adolf Hitler confidante — published two well-written, self-serving books about his Nazi experience.

“Inside the Third Reich” (’69) was the most widely read and influential as far as Speer’s reputation was concerned. He presented himself as a basically decent and civilized family man who made a deal with the devil and was therefore “inescapably contaminated morally” for his complicity with the Nazi regime…forever stained and doomed to carry a searing sense of guilt for the rest of his life. “”

“Spandau: The Secret Diaries” (’75) was Speer’s follow-up.

Out of these two books Speer became known not as “the good Nazi,” as many have called him, but the “not quite as bad as the other Nazi fanatics” guy with at least some sense of moral self-awareness and regret…a man who hadn’t denied his guilt and had served his prison sentence, and was looking to somehow atone in the years he had left. Speer died at age 76 in 1981.

Vanessa Lapa‘s Speer Goes to Hollywood (opening today) is a 97-minute argument that Speer wasn’t the urbane smoothie he portrayed himself as, and that he was aware of the extermination of the Jews, and that he was just as much of a Nazi shit as Himmler or Geobbels or Bormann or any of the others.

It is HE’s belief that Speer was definitely an ambitious, anti-Semitic, cold-hearted prick who engaged in a Faustian bargain for his own professional benefit. But it is also HE’s view that his saga is not anomalous, and that many seemingly or ostensibly civilized people have supported evil policies and homicidal regimes throughout history.

The Brazilian senate recently endorsed a report that accused president Jair Bolsonaro of the Covid-related murder of tens of thousands of Brazilians due to neglect, incompetence and anti-scientific denialism. How many tens of thousands of Americans needlessly died as a direct result of Donald Trump‘s similar response to Covid-19, and who would argue that Dr. Deborah Birx wasn’t at least partly complicit in these deaths? Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger knew that the Vietnam War was unwinnable, but they kept it going for three or four years after the Nixon administration took power in January ’69 and in so doing caused the needless deaths of tens of thousands of Vietnamese. 1.7 million people were murdered in the Cambodian killing fields — were the Khmer Rouge cadres who saw to these deaths born killers, or were they just loyalists who did what was expected? How many hundreds of thousands died in China’s Great Cultural Revolution? 17,000 were killed during the French terror of the 1790s. How many hundreds or thousands of present-day careers have been destroyed by woke terrorists?

Throughout history ambitious cutthroat types have done almost anything to get ahead or serve their superiors, and they’ve never given a damn how many innocent lives were sacrificed in the bargain.

The info’s a little vague, but after endless delays the commercial release of Oliver Stone‘s JFK Revisited, which premiered in Cannes last July, is finally happening. And, oddly enough**, only a few days from now — on Friday, 11.12 via the Showtime app, and on the Showtime network beginning on Monday, 11.22, the 58th anniversary of the JFK murder.

The longer version, JFK: Destiny Betrayed, will be commercially streamed (sale or rental) next February.

** Who waits to announce the availability of a new film only seven days in advance?

…of hate-watching Eternals? I can feel it, sense it, smell it, detect it…I know what it is without seeing it. How do I know this? Because it’s two…make that three doses of poison is a single glass — dreamy Zhao wokester mythology + Angelina Jolie + same old Marvel horseshit. I cringe at the idea of submitting to it.

It makes you look weak or woozy or somehow dependent upon the warm bath of booze in the blood. If someone picks up a camera, always put the glass down. That said, Newman and clan look awfully good here. Those moist Connecticut lawns and especially the fragrance following a rainfall. Judging by the gray in his hair, I’d say it was taken around the time of Fort Apache, The Bronx (’81) or The Verdict (‘82).

I did a lot of good publicity work for New Line Cinema and Cannon Films (mostly press kits) during the mid to late ’80s. New Line-wise I’m especially proud of my nimble-witted promotions of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and Critters. During the Critters shoot I bonded with M. Emmet Walsh and Billy Greenbush (whose folksy manner reminded me of my Kentucky-born grandfather). For all my efforts I only managed a single mention during closing credits (i.e., Critters). Back then I had a problem with “Jeffrey” — I thought it sounded too frilly or delicate.

Colleen Camp hosted a lavish Squid Game party this evening…Doheny Road, hills above Sunset. Director-writer Hwang Dong–hyuk, lead actress HoYeon Jung, Oscar-winning Minari grandma Yuh Jung-Youn, K-pop star Eric Nam, Phillip Noyce, Billy Zane, John Goldwyn, cast and crew…everyone, everything.