I’ll Wait for “Tenet” Bluray, Thanks

Just For Variety‘s Mark Malkin is reporting that Chris Nolan‘s Tenet, which has never played Los Angeles theatres due to the pandemic, will play at a central Hollywood drive-in from 12.5 through 12.16. The venue is the Hollywood Theater Legion Drive-In at Post 43 (2035 N Highland Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90068, just south of the Hollywood Bowl). The booking is a warm-up for the 12.15 release of the Tenet Bluray.

There are three problems. One, watching a big-event, large-format film like Tenet from inside your car is a waste of time as only a modest fraction of the total intended impact would be absorbed.** (I saw Tenet three months ago at a Flagstaff Harkins plex, and it was heaven.) Two, the per-car admission is $65 (including drinks, candy and popcorn for the whole family or posse). And three, seeing the film without subtitles guarantees you’ll miss most of the story particulars, due to Nolan’s notorious sound-mix aesthetic.

I’ll be waiting until the subtitled 4K Bluray comes along, thanks. I’m actually excited to watch it this way.

Posted last September: “My theatrical viewing of Tenet in a Flagstaff Harkins plex was a great thundering high. Big screen, booming sound, small buttered popcorn, extra-comfy rocking chair, first indoor viewing experience in over six months…mother!”

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“It Has To Stop”

I for one admire the seething tone of voice that came out of Georgia elections official Gabriel Sterling earlier today. I like the ballsy way he verbally bitchslapped President Trump and his goons for failing to condemn threats of violence against people overseeing the voting system.

“It has to stop,” Sterling said at a press conference at the Atlanta state Capitol, his voice vibrating with rage. “Mr. President, you have not condemned these actions or this language. “This is the backbone of democracy, and all of you who have not said a damn word are complicit in this. It’s too much.”

A gray-haired Republican, Sterling is Georgia’s voting system implementation manager.

Trump, he says, needs to “step up” and say “stop inspiring people to commit potential acts of violence. Someone’s going to get hurt…get shot, get killed. And it’s not right.”

As Gently and Precisely As Possible…

Having announced a new trans status, Elliot Page (the former Ellen Page) is now a dude in what sense exactly? Does this mean…how should I put this? I’ve been in the Army and I know that drill instructors will sometimes yell “I want every swinging dick to be standing in formation by 6 am.” Could one say that Elliot Page is now part of this fraternity?

Or is Elliot trans in the sense that he’s merely chosen to regard himself as non-binary or male-ish as an idea or some kind of vague emotional commitment with the door left open for whatever, or has he actually “taken steps” to transition out of biological womanhood?

Because nobody ever seems to discuss specifics. Hormone shots, I presume, but maybe not. Who knows?

Page made an official announcement earlier today so inquiries are allowed. What’s clear is that right now and henceforth Page is a he/him.

Why are media outlets terrified of posting the name “Ellen Page”? Jordan Ruimy has scanned two or three dozen articles and reports that only UPI has mentioned “Ellen Page” in their headline.

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Evolving “Prom” Thread

As indicated a few hours ago, I started out hating The Prom but then I gradually warmed up to it, bit by bit. I ended up feeling simultaneously touched and exhausted. A couple of friends read and commented as I tapped out my reactions as the film went along, all 131 minutes worth. This is a spotty representation of the actual thread. Just remember that my eyes were watering at the end.

HE: Great excerpts from imagined N.Y. Times pan of Eleanor!, a B’way show about Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, which stars Dee Dee Allen (Meryl Streep) and Barry Glickman (James Corden) as a fat FDR. Excerpt #1: “Watching Allen’s Eleanor Roosevelt croaking out a heavy-handed message of social activism is like paying an aging draw Queen to shove a syrup-soaked American flag down my throat.” Excerpt #2: “If you’re considering buying a ticket to this show, do yourself a favor. Buy a few feet of good, heavy rope instead and then go hang yourself.”

HE: I hate these sleek, arrogant, narcissistic Broadway buffoons (Streep, Corden, Andrew Rannells, Nicole Kidman). I want them flown to the Sonoran desert, stripped naked, tied to wooden stakes and slowly eaten to death by lizards and red ants.”

Friendo #1: Guy Lodge didn’t like it? That’s a shocker. He’s usually contrarian driven. It felt like propaganda to me. Shockingly so. But I was moved by the younger lesbians’ storyline and a little bit with regard to coming out to your parents. I just wish it wasn’t propaganda for the left. It’s so embarrassing. It’s like the 50s all over again with strident rules.

And it’s about ten years outdated. This isn’t the world we live in anymore. A better story would be if a pair of young Trump supporters wanted to attend a prom but were being told by their lefty friends they’re not wanted. That would be a reason a school would cancel a prom. But not this. Based on a true story but ten years too late.

Publicist to Allen, Glickman/strong>: “It’s not the show. It’s you two. You’re just not likable. Nobody likes a narcissist.”

HE: Oh, God…here comes Nicole Kidman in a hot sequined dress!

Glickman: “Were gonna help that little lesbian whether she likes it or not.” JESUS!!!!

Friendo #2: I dunno. It’s an old-fashioned musical. Of course we’re supposed to like the characters (even though — yes — they’re narcissists). Of course they get happy endings. I think a musical like Moulin Rouge! is the be-all and end-all (it’s one of my favorite films), but not every musical has to be Moulin Rouge! I’m also a fan of the High School Musical films, and I often liked Glee. That’s what this movie is. I think, for what it is, it’s 100 times better than the Mamma Mia! films.

HE: I’m choking on the effervescent fizz. This is a shrieking woke horror film. “We’re gonna teach them to be more p.c.!” Yeah, you’ve been doing that, assholes, for the last three or four years, and as a result there was no blue wave in the 11.3 election. Because people hate p.c. scolds.

Friendo #2: Kerry Washington is a stylized villain, like Mr. Potter in It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s not a documentary. It’s a Ryan Murphy musical.I don’t mean to come off like a wokester, but there’s more than enough homophobia to go around in the African-American community. A lot of Middle American black people are very traditional, very church-bound. Please! If you don’t like The Prom, no problem, but you’re holding it to the standards of a documentary. I’d like to see your reality-test review of Singin’ in the Rain.

HE: Singin’ in the Rain is a legendary MGM musical, but it gives me a headache. It never touches bottom. When it comes to musicals, give me Some Like It Hot, Cabaret, A Hard Day’s Night, I’ll Do Anything, Dancer in the Dark. I’d love to see a song like “Tomorrow Belongs To Me” sung by Indiana bigots. Tomorrow belongs to us…!

Friendo #2: Singin’ in the Rain, to me, is the greatest Hollywood musical ever made. I don’t get the argument that says that a movie like that one is too corny, wholesome, “never touches bottom” — all the things that it is. That’s what those movies were. (And, I would argue, what High School Musical and The Prom are.) It’s not a movie I’m going to compare to Mean Streets. Those films take place in a stylized universe where absolute goodness triumphs.

HE: Jean Hagen’s screechy voice sinks that 1952 film. And I despise young Donald O’Connor. All my life I’ve been INSTRUCTED to regard Singin’ In The Rain as the greatest movie musical of all time. Only now have I managed to summon the intestinal fortitude to push back against this received wisdom.

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If I Were Trump…

…I would fire the fat, traitorous William Barr for betraying the Presidency and for dishonoring God and country, and for disrespecting those tens of millions of idiot bumblefucks who are still behind me because they believe my sociopathic bullshit.

Unexpected Confession

I’ve just watched Ryan Murphy‘s The Prom (Netflix, 12.11), a film about love and big-ego types and acceptance and vanquishing bigotry, etc. I don’t have time to review it until later, but…I can’t believe I’m writing this…it fucking melted me down towards the end.

“Even though I frequently found it overbearing, even though I was spit-hating during the first hour or so. Please understand that, going solely by the trailer, there was no bigger Prom hater than myself, based on what this film appeared to be about.

But…this is hard to say, hard to admit to given the Ryan Murphy imprimatur…but my heart melted over the last 15 or 20 minutes. Because it sparks a certain re-ignited love for your children.

Final text to friendo: “It tortured me but I ended up accepting it. I finally like what it is, what it’s generating, what it stands for. Not my cup but I’m genuinely glad it’s out there. And yes, it’s mostly aimed at Middle American schmucks. But altogether it’s soooo exhausting and drawn-out. It kills you with the fucking alpha-preach. It happily and joyously suffocates you to death.

“But I couldn’t help but like it. I had to let it in. Because it has a good heart.”

HE to friendo coda: “I texted my son Jett with tears welling in my eyes during the last 15, 20 minutes. I told him it breaks my heart to think of him walking to the NYC-bound train station in West Orange, which is about 1.8 miles from his new home….it kills me to think of him freezing his ass off in February as he walks back to the house, pushing his bike uphill. I told him to think about buying a beater car, a station car. (He could get a piece of shit for $1K.) ‘Dad, really…I’m fine,’ he insisted. ‘I’m not a pussy about the cold.’ I, on the other hand, am a total shuddering CANDY-ASS when it comes to Arctic temperatures.

“Anyway, the tear-welling was inspired by The Prom. I’m almost ashamed to admit this because RYAN MURPHY! But that’s what happened.”

I’ll run a longer Prom piece later today. I have two errands to attend to. Back around 3 pm or so.

Tatiana Seeks Counsel

Tatiana Antropova (aka the fabled SRO) has been granted membership in SAG-AFTRA. This is partly due to having worked on and off as a background actress for the last couple of years. To become a full, ratified, card-carrying member she needs to submit the usual $445 in annual dues (one payment in October, another in April). But she’s heard that SAG/AFTRA members don’t get as much work as non-union members, or at least not with Central Casting. She can go to other agencies, of course, but they allegedly require fees before booking her. (Or so I understand.) Tatiana is hereby requesting advice from SAG-AFTRA members about whether becoming a union member will likely result in more or less work, and in what way things may or may not change for her.

Old Blue Eyes

Earlier this year Kino Lorber released a first-rate Bluray of Phillip BorsosThe Grey Fox (’82), hailed as one of the greatest Canadian films ever made and in my view one of the most convincing old-time western recreations.

Convincing because unlike 98% of period films released during the 20th or 21st Century, The Grey Fox — a mostly gentle saga of gentleman train robber Bill Miner (Richard Farnsworth) — looks, feels and sounds as if it was actually shot in early 1900s British Columbia. Every element in Borsos’ film — dialogue, aroma, atmosphere, period detail — feels 100% organic and dead to rights.

Needless to explain this kind of authenticity is almost completely out the window these days.

I regret to say that Kino Lorber’s trailer fails to reflect the just-right poignancy and natural rhythms of the film itself. I’m sorry but it happens now and then.

Wiki excerpt: According to Farnsworth, the “picture company” was the only one ever allowed to film at Fort Steele, British Columbia, a heritage site. The Grey Fox was also filmed on the British Columbia Railway / Pacific Great Eastern Railway, now run by Canadian National Railway, between Pemberton and Lillooet, British Columbia, and the Lake Whatcom Railway between Wickersham and Park, Washington. The capture sequence was shot a quarter of a mile from where Miner was actually caught. Miner’s actual gun, a .41 Bisley Colt, was obtained from a collector and used by Farnsworth in close-ups.

A Worthwhile 45 Minutes

Katie Couric spoke earlier today on Instagram with former United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara, a bright and knowledgable guy. Donald “Psycho” Trump, Rudy Giuliani, William Barr, Sidney Powell…all the malicious beasts. I’ve just listened through, the content is the content, and I was constantly engrossed.

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Big Audience Reaction Moments

Streaming films at home means you’re watching from inside a kind of isolation tank — whatever you’re feeling or not feeling, it pretty much belongs to you alone (and possibly to your significant other or kids), and is probably being expressed in some sort of muted fashion.

But things are a lot different when you see a dynamically effective film with a responsive audience. (Remember?). Key moments can feel like emotional explosions or symphonic crescendos, and they’re really quite intense.

Yesterday on Twitter Edgar Wright launched a conversation about this. He began by recalling a major moment when he saw Adrien Lyne‘s Fatal Attraction in a packed house. Wright: “Anne Archer‘s line to Glenn Close over the phone, ‘If you come near my family again I’ll kill you’, made the place ERUPT in applause.”

In his Criterion Bluray High Noon commentary, film prof Howard Suber claims that 1952 audiences went nuts when Grace Kelly, a devout Quaker, shot one of the bad guys (Robert Wilke) during the final gunfight. I can understand that. It’s quite a payoff.

Many have spoken of great audience excitement when all the superheroes gather for battle at the end of Joe and Anthony Russo‘s Avengers: Endgame.

One of my favorite audience reactions happened during a showing of Ridley Scott‘s Alien (’79) in an Upper West Side cinema. As Sigourney Weaver‘s Ripley is preparing to leave the Nostromo inside a small space cruiser, she returns to the Nostromo’s danger zone (i.e., where H.R. Giger‘s alien might be lurking) to look for her cat “Jonesy.” The audience (especially the African American members, if I’m allowed to say this) started howling when she did this. “Ohhh, mann…whatchoo doin’? Jeeezus….fuck the cat, man…FUCK THE CAT!”

Please share any such moments from your collective memory pools…thanks.