Alec Baldwin‘s Jack Ryan never existed. Ditto Harrison Ford‘s, Ben Affleck‘s and Chris Pine‘s. Or they all did, in a sense, and John Krasinski‘s is simply the New Ryan on the Block. Except it’s the same old legend, the same old routine. Jack is a CIA cubicle guy, a reader, an analyst, a dweeb. “Get on the plane!” When the CIA needs someone smart and resourceful to investigate terrorist baddies in a race to prevent a global attack, they go to one guy. Eight one-hour segments starting on 8.31. Directed by Morten Tyldum (Passengers, Imitation Game) and costarring Abbie Cornish, Timothy Hutton and Peter Fonda.

I’ve never had much interest in the fanatical anger that hardcore Star Wars fans have been venting since The Last Jedi popped last December, and especially (I guess) since the tanking of Solo.

And I’ve never felt anything but loathing for the haters who went after poor Kelly Marie Tran (i.e, “Rose Tico”), who handled herself pretty well in The Last Jedi, I thought. She’s a good actress who rose to the occasion.

But I was struck just now by a comment posted this morning (6.11) in a Deadline thread. By a guy named “James 1701.” (I think.) It seems to lay out all the basic beefs. I don’t give a damn about this stuff, but please read and comment — I’m curious what the HE crowd thinks. In fact, try reading some of the other comments first — they offer context.

“Not a hate bandwagon. It’s totally legit. Force Awakens was alright but forgettable. Not a great movie and they forgot to include any character development, backstory explanation, or originality. It introduced a Mary Sue for the main character and some ridiculous SJW ideals for everyone [else]. It murdered a beloved character [Han Solo] with no build-up or reason whatsoever, and it completely omitted the most popular character in the entire franchise. The other new characters were just straight-up awful and the main bad guy is an email.”

Kylo Ren is “an email”? I’ve never called anyone or anything that, but it’s kinda funny.

Back to James1701: “Rogue One continued this trend but was added a Darth Vader scene and a tie-in to A New Hope.

“The Last Jedi was horrendous and made The Force Awakens [seem] even worse. More character assassination, less back-story, more SJW bullshit, and it just killed off the most popular character while making him look like a fool.

“And then Solo followed in these footsteps.

“Rian Johnson, Kathleen Kennedy, Jar-Jar Abrams and the rest of Disney have crapped all over fans, insulting then and calling them racist and idiots. They’ve quite literally just killed the just successful movie franchise of all times. They honestly shouldn’t even make Episode 9. They should just start over and redo episode 7 with a totally new creative team and pretend The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi never happened.”

Soon after last weekend’s news of Anthony Bourdain‘s suicide, a friend sent me a 6.5 Daily Mail story about Asia Argento hanging the previous weekend with journalist Hugo Clement in Rome. There was a suggestion that Argento’s seeming infidelity might have acted as a “trigger” incident that affected Bourdain in a negative way. A People piece is suggesting something along these lines.

I immediately dismissed it. No semi-mature person, even one grappling with depression, offs themselves over this kind of thing. Bourdain seemed way too wise and seasoned to act like a broken-hearted teenager. Or maybe Bourdain and Argento had a fluid relationship that allowed for occasional dalliances with other people. Who knows?

Apparently some people have been talking about the Argento-Clement thing because a few hours ago Rose McGowan released an open letter about the Bourdain-Argento relationship — a letter intended to dissuade people from coming to the wrong conclusion.

“I write these truths because I have been asked to,” McGowan began. “I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice.

“Anthony and Asia had a free relationship,” McGowan explained. “They loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.

“When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children.

“Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won.”

In Incredibles 2, the Parr family (Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, Jack-Jack) bunks for a few weeks at the “Safari Court Motel”, a ’50s-looking place with a neon sign. Except many well-travelled Los Angeleno will tell you it’s a real, actual place, three or four blocks from Disney Studios. Located at 1911 W. Olive Ave (between Lamer and Parish Place), the Safari Inn — no “court” in the name — was also where Clarence and Alabama stayed in Tony Scott and Quentin Tarantino‘s True Romance (’93).

Now for the bad news: The neon palm tree and swimming pool are still there, but indoors the Safari is nothing close to a “gorgeously retro motel,” as Hollywood Reporter critic Todd McCarthy described it today. Having visited there a couple of years ago, I can tell you it’s bland and corporate and sorely lacking in ’50s character. Built in 1955, the place was bought and apparently “upgraded” by Coast Hotels sometime within the last decade. Trust me — the funky-retro place you may remember from True Romance (i.e., the motel where James Gandolfini and Patricia Arquette had their big fight) is no more.

The Safari Inn was reportedly also seen in Ron Howard‘s Apollo 13 and has been featured in several TV series.

Critics usually give animated features a pass if they can. Especially Disney/Pixar product. It’s safer and simpler to just wave the bull through. Mainly because they don’t want to sound mean or grumpy when it comes to well-funded family fare. Hence the 97% Rotten Tomatoes score for a Disney/Pixar sequel that is clearly, obviously not as good as the 2004 original.

It therefore takes a certain degree of courage to stand up to a film like Incredibles 2, and so HE offers a salute to Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman and Chicago Tribune critic Michael Phillips.

Gleiberman: “Incredibles 2 offers a puckishly high-spirited but slightly strenuous replay of the original film’s tale of a superhero family working to prove its relevance. What was organic, and even obsessive, in the first outing comes off as pat and elaborate formula here. The new movie, energized as it is, too often feels like warmed-over sloppy seconds.

“In the years since the ’04 original, the cult of the superhero has all but taken over the culture, which is one reason why Incredibles 2 was likely greenlit. So it feels a little off-kilter to realize that superheroes, in Incredibles 2, are still illegal, and that the Parrs are living like refugees, holed up in the Safari Court Motel. As a concept, the reset never fully gels. It’s a convoluted way of rehashing the first film (with less pizzazz) instead of building something new on top of it.

“Each story point hits us with its overly calculated ‘relevance.’ Bob’s awkwardness as a nurturer in the brave new world of dads-as-homemakers; Helen’s proud post-feminist advancement over her husband; the ominous threat of whatever comes through the computer screen — it’s all a bit too thought out, and maybe a tad behind the curve.”

Phillips: “Incredibles 2 is the 14-years-later sequel, again from Disney-Pixar, again from writer-director Bird. It’s just okay, which is somehow a little less than okay, considering the artistic heights the studio has scaled at its peak.

This isn’t a “review” of Incredibles 2 as I left after 45 minutes. I was in pain — my mind was under attack by hornets and bumblebees. There are some pissants out there who feel that walking out is never cool, but occasionally it’s not only valid but necessary. I’ve bailed on films before and I probably will again.

14 years ago I fell hard for The Incredibles. The revved-up mixture of wit, laughter and a clever premise (superhero family with p.r. problems, frowned upon by powers-that-be), and all of it catapulted by hilarious, well-choreographed action. A perfect stew.

Incredibles 2 felt to me like a whole different animal. 2018 and 2004 are different realms, and for me the charm-and-finesse factor this time was pretty much out the window. Too hyper, too ADD, too antsy, too nutso, too FX- and spectacle-driven, too corporate, too family-friendly…it drove me nuts. I had to get out of there. Really.

Lenny Abramson‘s The Little Stranger (Focus Features, 8.31) feels like a revisiting of Atonement with an eerie supernatural undercurrent. Based on the same-titled period novel (1940s) by Sarah Waters. Any way you slice it Domhnall Gleeson doesn’t put butts in seats. Ruth Wilson, Will Poulter, Charlotte Rampling.

The CBS powers-that-be bleeped out what Robert De Niro said tonight at the Tonys: “Fuck Trump.” But Australia heard it, and then Twitter passed it along.

Robert De Niro's popularity is suddenly rising in Canada. pic.twitter.com/30LPxiWg7f #TonyAwards

— David Beard (@dabeard) June 11, 2018

What’s up with Criterion’s penchant for teal-tinting? Whatever’s blue, they’ll turn it into teal. Six weeks ago the ludicrous teal-tinting of Criterion’s Midnight Cowboy Bluray (“Green Cowboy…Eegadz“, “Criterion’s Teal Tint Insanity“) was revealed. Now we have the teal-tinting of Ron Shelton‘s Bull Durham to contend with by way of Criterion’s forthcoming Bluray. The DVD Beaver frame captures tell the tale. The question is “why?” Teal-binging makes no sense. It’s absolutely deranged.

“Criterion’s image has a bad case of the ‘teals’,” according to DVD Beaver’s Gary W. Tooze. “Blue jackets have moved to teal…the ‘teal’ controversy will resume.”

Natural blue jackets — the way they’ve always looked.

Criterion’s teal dye job.

Anthony Bourdain‘s suicide was being discussed this morning on a certain Facebook thread, and I chimed in with the following: “I don’t think I’d have the courage to commit suicide. Especially by hanging myself with a necktie…good God. I’m too terrified of the nothingness of death, the infinite flatline, the eternal void, the sleep from which there’s no waking. Under the shroud of death there’s no pain, burdens or anxieties, of course, but I gladly accept them on a daily basis as the price for being alive. We all have a rendezvous with death, but I want to live forever. No kidding. I could be suffering through the worst day of my life, and I still couldn’t off myself.”

Concisely stated by Woody Allen: “I don’t want to live on through my work — I want to live on by not dying.”