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By all that is right, fair and profound, a film that wins the Best Picture Oscar should pass the “wow!” test. Agreed, many past winners haven’t lived up to this standard. Time and again Academy voters have rewarded films that comfort or affirm basic truths or remind us, movingly, how things are. Or how we’d like them to be. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Well, now and then there is. Within the last 12 years the Best Picture Oscar has been handed to Chicago, Crash, The King’s Speech and The Artist, or what I call The Four Embarrassments. But in the hearts and minds of those who watch over this town and this industry, Best Picture winners should turn heads, open doors, make history, raise a few eyebrows and rock the rafters on some level or another. They should make you say “Wow, I just saw something!” And they should at least make you want to watch them a second time, if not a third or fourth.

A few days ago I watched Alejandro G. Inarritu‘s Birdman for the fifth time, on a 55-inch TV with friends who hadn’t seen it before, and I swear to God it hadn’t diminished. It still pops and chortles and lurches around and slides into home plate like a champ. Lord knows I’m not saying it’s a “better” film than Boyhood or Selma or The Imitation Game, its three biggest competitors. (What does that mean anyway?) But it’s the only film that melts into itself like music and which flies above Tin Pan Alley and reminds that the spirit of Federico Fellini’s 8 1/2 is alive and well in the 21st Century. And it’s one of the few comedies I’ve seen in my life that could be called sad or autumnal or…what’s the word, whiplashy? Or which foregoes the mere telling of jokes or eliciting of laughter for what you might call withering God’s-eye humor.

Is “God” capable of laughing at anything? Can He/She even be bothered? Perhaps not, but if He/She has the slightest interest in our struttings and frettings, Birdman suggests that He/She might have a sardonic attitude. Certainly when it comes to the spectacle of an older, used-to-be-hot actor who mocks Twitter and doesn’t even have a Facebook page…a guy with problems and demons trying to re-float his boat in choppy seas…a guy who isn’t hip enough to understand that nobody wears white Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear…a guy who’s trying to make it all come out right despite the fact he’s scared shitless and wondering what the hell…a guy who’s teetering like a bowling pin…a guy who certainly could use and for the most part deserves heavenly compassion (i.e., a break) but is forced to do without it for most of Birdman’s running time.

12.29, 9 am Pacific Update: On 12.22 I posted a rundown of 2015 films that seem fairly promising. A few other films were posted by commenters over the next day or so. Here’s another rundown with an attempt to break them into unfair categories but…call it a work in progress, like anything else. We’re talking at least 17 films that look really good, and about 15 that seem at least moderately intriguing and might be better than that. In all likelihood, the 2015 Best Picture winner is among the top 17. Top contenders: Steve Jobs, Silence, St. James Place, Hughes, The Revenant, Truth, Our Brand Is Crisis, Money Monster, Demolition.

X-Factor “Extra”, Semi-Fresh, Social Undercurrent…Something More (17):

Steve Jobs (Universal — shooting begins filming next month or January 2015, which indicates an intention to bring it out by late ’15) — Danny Boyle (director), Aaron Sorkin (screenplay), Scott Rudin (producer); Cast: Michael Fassbender, Seth Rogen, Michael Stuhlbarg, Katherine Waterston.

The Revenant (20th Century Fox) — Alejandro González Inarritu (director/screenplay); Mark “nobody can remember my middle initial” Smith (screenplay); Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Will Poulter, Domhnall Gleeson.

Money Monster (TriStar/Sony — apparently shooting in early ’15) — Jodie Foster (director); Jamie Linden, Alan DiFiore, Jim Kouf (screenplay). Cast: George Clooney, Jack O’Connell, Julia Roberts. Question: Same as Silence, will it shoot early enough?, etc.

Hughes (no distributor) — Warren Beatty (director, writer); Warren Beatty, Alden Ehrenreich, Lily Collins, Matthew Broderick, Annette Bening, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Taissa Farmiga, Chace Crawford, Candice Bergen.

Truth (no distributor) — James Vanderbilt (director, writer — based on the 2005 memoir “Truth and Duty” by Mary Mapes); Cast: Robert Redford, Cate Blanchett, Elisabeth Moss, Topher Grace, Dennis Quaid, Bruce Greenwood.

Our Brand Is Crisis (Warner Bros.); David Gordon Green (director); Peter Straughan (screenplay); Sandra Bullock, Scoot McNairy, Billy Bob Thornton, Anthony Mackie, Ann Dowd.

Everest (Universal) — Baltasar Kormákur (director); Justin Isbell, William Nicholson (screenplay); Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Brolin, Jason Clarke, John Hawkes, Sam Worthington, Keira Knightley, Robin Wright.

Demolition (Fox Searchlight) — Jean-Marc Vallee (director); Bryan Sipe (screenplay); Jake Gyllenhaal, Naomi Watts, Chris Cooper.

Black Mass (Warner Bros.) — Scott Cooper (director/screenplay); Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sienna Miller, Dakota Johnson.

Hail Caesar (Universal — listed as a February 2016 release but if the film turns out to be half as good as the crackling script, it’ll be criminal to relegate it to a dump month); Joel and Ethan Coen (directors, screenplay); Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Channing Tatum, Tilda Swinton, Ralph Fiennes, Jonah Hill.

St. James Place (Touchstone / DreamWorks / 20th Century Fox) — Steven Spielberg (director); Matt Charman, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen (screenplay); Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance, Amy Ryan, Alan Alda, Billy Magnussen, Eve Hewson.

Life (no distributor) — Anton Corbijn (director); Luke Davies (screenplay); Robert Pattinson, Dane DeHaan, Ben Kingsley, Joel Edgerton.

The Walk (TriStar / ImageMovers) — Robert Zemeckis (director/screenplay); Christopher Browne (screenplay); Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ben Kingsley, James Badge Dale, Charlotte Le Bon.

Carol (Weinstein Co.) — Todd Haynes (director); Pyllis Nagy (screenplay, based on Patricia Highsmith novel); Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, Sarah Paulson, Kyle Chandler.

By The Sea (Universal) — Angelina Jolie (director, screenwriter). Cast: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Niels Arestrup, Mélanie Laurent.

Sea of Trees (no distributor) — Gus Van Sant (director); Chris Sparling (screenplay); Matthew McConaughey, Ken Watanabe, Naomi Watts, Katie Aselton, Jordan Gavaris.

Knight of Cups (no distributor) — Terrence Malick (director); Hanan Townshend screenplay); Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Brian Dennehy, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Wes Bentley, Isabel Lucas, Teresa Palmer.

May Not Be Released in 2015:

Silence (Paramount) — Martin Scorsese (director); Jay Cocks (screenplay); Liam Neeson, Andrew Garfield, Issei Ogata, Adam Driver, Ken Watanabe.

Intriguingly Commercial (14):

Tomorrowland (Disney) — Brad Bird (director, cowriter); Damon Lindelof (co-writer); George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy, Thomas Robinson, Kathryn Hahn, Tim McGraw, Keegan-Michael Key, Judy Greer.

The Hateful Eight (Weinstein Co.) — Quentin Tarantino (director-writer); Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Dern, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Demián Bichir, Kurt Russell.

Ricki and the Flash (TriStar) — Jonathan Demme (director); Diablo Cody (screenplay); Meryl Streep, Mamie Gummer, Kevin Kline, Sebastian Stan, Rick Springfield, Ben Platt.

Midnight Special (Warner Bros.) — Jeff Nichols (director/screenplay); Cast: Michael Shannon, Kirsten Dunst, Adam Driver, Joel Edgerton.

The Last Face (distributor) — Sean Penn (director); Erin Dignam (screenplay); Charlize Theron, Javier Bardem, Adèle Exarchopoulos.

In my 80% positive 11.12 review of Clint Eastwood‘s American Sniper I mentioned a scene that I found hugely irritating. And still do, having seen the film twice now. Sniper‘s been playing four or five days now so some will know what I’m referring to. It’s an Act Two scene in which Bradley Cooper‘s Chris Kyle is suddenly caught in a Iraqi firefight while phoning his wife Taya, played by Sienna Miller. She’s naturally startled, and as the battle quickly intensifies she gets more and more riled and as she cries out to Cooper, asking him what’s going on and is he okay and so on (“Baby? Baby?”). As soon she said those words, I went nuts. What does she expect him to say? Does she actually think he’s going to put down his weapon and explain to her what’s going on, as if she can’t figure it out?

Miller knows, of course, that Cooper is in a combat zone in order to shoot guys, and that firefights are part of the basic drill. So why does she freak out? Is she hoping he’ll get back on the line and say, “Hi, baby…yeah, yeah, I know…they’re shooting at us now…but don’t worry! Anyway, I can’t really talk right now, okay? I might get, you know, killed if I don’t defend myself so if it’s cool I’ll call you back later. I’ll be okay, sweetheart. I just have to put the phone down and focus on killing the enemy. You understand, right? It’s not that I don’t love you or don’t want to talk to you. It’s just now is not the best time to talk…okay?”

This is not only a solid professional job, but the casting choices for a 1946 version of Into The Woods are spot-on. I’m looking around for the name of the artist.

When you learn in real life that you’re toast the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But there are four stages when facing imminent tragedy in comedy — disbelief, indignant anger, pleading and acceptance. Imagine a guy who’s accidentally locked himself out of his house and has decided to try and gain entry through an open second-story window. He manages this by climbing up a nearby tree and crawling along a branch toward the window. But as he climbs halfway out on the branch, he hears a cracking-snapping sound.

Disbelief: At first the guy almost whispers “no” and then gradually turns up the volume — “No…no!” He’s stunned at first, and then unable to accept what’s about to happen. The branch is part of a tree that’s on my property, I give the tree plenty of water and it gets lots of sunshine, and I keep it nicely trimmed. Therefore the branch won’t do this to me because that would be, well, at the very least inconsiderate.

Indignant anger: The “no!” exclamations become impassioned, adamant. You can’t be doing this to me! Why are you doing this? I did’t crawl out on some flimsy little branch, and you’re not a brittle Tulip tree and I’m not that heavy…there’s absolutely no reason for this to be happening and it’s not right!

2015 has already gone down in history as The Year of Hollywood’s Ultimate Cultural Genocide — a sulfuric, suffocating cavalcade of something close to 23 fantasy-franchise superhero blockbuster films, rolling in like digital lava and perhaps occasionally getting it right and perhaps even creating a kind of magic here and there but more often and certainly more dependably polluting the cultural water table with a greater concentration of formulaic toxins than ever before in the history of motion pictures. Brands, brands, brands. It’s a measure of our times and our souls that these films don’t seem to be generating advance hate as much as advance…lethargy? Maybe I’m reading it all wrong. What do I know, coping with jet lag on a Sunday afternoon?

Is there some kind of 2015 franchise-dismissal list — movies that people have already written off and are looking forward to ignoring no matter what?

A year and a half ago Steven Spielberg and George Lucas predicted a coming franchise implosion due to a constant reliance on “conservative programming choices and rapidly evolving distribution schemes.” If there is a God, that implosion will happen in 2015. The more 2015 franchisers that fail or under-perform, the more likely (or so I’m telling myself) that zombie execs will be forced to try out semi-original material. The franchise mentality has to “fall down…let it fall down, let it all fall down.”

When North Korea’s internet went dark last Monday it was widely assumed and almost-but-not-quite confirmed that Obama administration cyber-seals were behind it. Very cool. And now it’s down again, according to China’s Xinhua news agency, only this time North Korea’s 3G mobile networks are also toast. Bitches talkin’ shit? Gettin’ slapped for it.

Saturday’s blackout was presumably a response to a statement from Pyongyang’s Policy Department of the National Defense Commission, issued yesterday, that said (a) the release of The Interview would “[hurt] the dignity of the supreme leadership” of North Korea while “agitating terrorism,” and that (b) President Obama, “reckless in words and deeds like a monkey in a tropical forest,” was the “chief culprit” behind Sony’s release of the Seth Rogen-Evan Goldberg film along with “wicked conservative forces.”

I’m told I shouldn’t read too much into Deadline‘s Pete Hammond having posted last night that many Academy members still haven’t seen Boyhood, which has been called a presumptive Best Picture favorite for months. Hammond wrote the piece for a print version of Awardsline that was due in early December, and the Boyhood DVD had only been mailed a couple of weeks before it was written.

But you have to wonder why people were still dragging their feet a week after Thanksgiving with Boyhood having opened last July and many screenings having occurred over the previous couple of months. The reason seems obvious to me but let’s call it a guess.

Boyhood is the Julianne Moore of Best Picture contenders in that the blogoscenti decided long ago that it fully deserves and therefore needs to be a major contender and that it should/could even win, and since this perfect storm of opinion occurred the Academy and guild members have had it on their “to do” lists but…with…some…degree…of…procrastination. Just like their attitude about Still Alice, which nobody in the world feels even vaguely excited about and yet people are nonetheless sluggishly resigned to Moore being the big Best Actress lockdown.

It’s a tragedy that more of these pics aren’t in color — those marquees really popped at night — but the ’50s reality was that color photography was cost prohibitive.

In a 12.25 post called “Take…No, Respect The Pain” I asked for reactions to Angelina Jolie‘s Unbroken, but more importantly I asked how “the room” felt. “How did it seem to play with Joe and Jane?,” I wrote. “Seriously…I’m asking. Maybe on some level it’s connecting. What do I know?” Well, Unbroken is connecting. $15,592,000 earned on Christmas Day, and close to $50 million expected by Sunday night.

Except half the critics said “nope” and the film itself isn’t, to be bend-over-backwards fair, traditionally comforting or nourishing. It’s a well-made, handsomely captured slog about a guy enduring all manner of pain, trial, deprivation and torture. So something is happening here, Mr. Jones, but what? I think it’s the fans of Laura Hillebrand’s 2010 book plus fans who are looking to kiss the proverbial Jolie glamour ring plus the same people who ten years ago wrapped themselves in the blessed spiritual agonies of The Passion of the Christ.

And yet when I asked if anyone felt tremors in the ground only two readers, “Sams” and “Actionman,” answered in the affirmative. Everyone else navel-gazed. The HE community failed. I’d like explanations, please.

I would honestly refuse to watch Jeremy Garelick‘s The Wedding Ringer (Screen Gems, 1.16.15) if someone offered to pay me $20 to do so. I’m not sure $50 would do it. I might fold if someone slipped me a Ben Franklin…maybe. My general rule is that I’ll never watch a Kevin Hart film, and I don’t see that ever changing. I appreciate that Josh Gad has dropped a few pounds in hopes of being occasionally cast as a boyfriend or fiance, but my mind, my life and the general rules of human behavior won’t allow the notion of a smart, alert, good-looking girl looking like Wedding Ringer costar Kaley Cuoco open to mingling with a porky, bespectacled, pasty-faced geek…no way in hell.

For years I’ve been visiting Coming Soon, mainly for easy access to movie release dates and links and generally the whole calendar year…it kept you to up to date on everything. CS also posted news stories and access to new trailers and yaddah yaddah. A few days ago all of that went away. Coming Soon has been transformed into a boring, nothing, bullshit site that I have no use for. It used to be geek-friendly, a kind of haven for guys like myself…no more. A shame. Where do I go now for an easy rundown of what’s coming out on a week-by-week, month-by-month basis…no muss or fuss?