“Even though it stretches to nearly two-and-a-half hours and concludes with an extended gun battle, by the time Divergent ends it still seems to be…clearing its throat. Blame it on burdensome commercial expectations, perhaps: Adapted from the first novel in Veronica Roth’s blockbuster YA series, this film has clearly been designated an heir apparent to Summit-Lionsgate’s massively lucrative teen-targeted Twilight and Hunger Games properties. Yet director Neil Burger seems so concerned with laying franchise groundwork that he neglects to create an engaging standalone movie, and Divergent‘s uncertain sense of setting, bloated plot, drab visual style and solid yet underwhelming lead turns from Shailene Woodley and Theo James don’t necessarily make the best case for series newcomers.” — from Andrew Barker‘s 3.16 Variety review.

The depression that followed James Cameron‘s commitment to deliver not one or two but three Avatar sequels, planned for release in 2016, 2017 and 2018, was fairly profound. Three sequels? It used to be that major-league directors made films because they were excited by some challenge or because they were aroused by certain echos or themes or metaphors in the material. Now, it seems, they’re just following the cash because corporate franchise movies are regarded by zombie production executives as the only safe bets. James Mangold recently announced he’ll be doing another effing Wolverine movie after helming X-Men Apocalypse. Why? Because the market allegedly wants these films and he’s going for the dough while the getting is good. (Which puts Three Little Words and The Deep Blue Good-by on back burners.) Which name-brand directors have respectfully passed when presented with an opportunity to direct a sequel for a handsome paycheck? “Sorry but I can’t make a movie just to make money…I have to feel a certain degree of genuine passion”…who has said that over the last 20 or 25 years?

Incidentally: Who re-spells “goodbye” as “good-by“? Sub-moronic.

Six days after my 3.11 “Monster of Nothingness” piece about the surreal disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, some CNN guys flirted with the notion of a supernatural explanation. But that’s old news. The new thought is that the pilot and his co-pilot are/were nutters who used a “terrain masking” procedure to avoid radar: “Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 dropped to altitudes as low as 5000 feet, using a dangerous flying technique called ‘terrain masking’, to avoid radar in at least three countries, investigators believe. Terrain masking is used by military pilots for stealth flights.” — Lindsay Murdoch, Sydney Morning Herald.

This morning’s earthquake wasn’t that strong, but it was cool. A lousy 4.4 on the scale and candy-asses were going “whoa, why do I live here?” More importantly, why do L.A. quakes almost always happen in the early morning? The ’94 quake was historic. I remember the blue-white flash of electric juncture boxes being dislodged. And then, hours later, being told by Entertainment Weekly to gather reactions from industry hotshots. Warren Beatty‘s was the best: “It gives us cause for the pause that we all should be taking anyway.”

“I saw an early screening of Malificent (Disney, 5.30) last November on the Disney lot,” an HE regular informs. “The visual effects weren’t anywhere near done, but the story was set. It’s basically a revision where everything isn’t so black and white. The villain has a backstory and the ending is different, and everything is told with more of an empowered female perspective. Jolie is fine, especially if you are open-minded. She has the malicious laugh, show a little teeth, has a little fun, and in the end she’s redeemed. Like I said, this is for a new generation of girls.

“It’s certainly lacking in scope and full realization, but I thought it was okay as far as these things go. After all, I’m not the target audience. I have zero desire to see this ever again, but I wouldn’t mind taking my nieces (maybe even my nephews). We’re growing as a civilization and Disney is growing with us. Pretty cool. I hope it’s a hit, for the sake of Jolie and Hollywood actresses in general. And, frankly, considering all the crap out there, you can do much worse.”

A Paramount Pictures website listing the international release dates for Darren Aronofsky‘s Noah says the film will open in Mexico on Friday, March 21st. This information is what led to my temporary plan to drive to Tijuana next Friday to see Noah (or Noe, as it’s called in Mexico) if no local screening opportunity has presented itself. I know that the trades have seen it and will post their reviews on 3.21.

The weird part is that when I search around for 3.21 Noe openings in Tijuana or Ensenada, I can find nothing. I can find information about Noe playing in Guadalajara and Monterrey. I’ve also found a mention of an April 4th IMAX opening. But no listings of the film playing on any Tijuana or Ensenada screens. Are the powers-that-be temporarily keeping Noe out of Mexican theatres near the U.S. border to discourage guys like me from seeing it a week earlier than the 3.28 U.S. opening? I’m just scratching my head here.

Three or four days hence the place will be re-painted and then some new fake wooden floors will be installed. A simulation, yes, but a decent-looking one. This means everything (furniture, TV/audio, paintings, photos, Blurays/DVDs, speakers, throw rugs, microwave, plants) will be moved outside by Wednesday or Thursday morning at the latest. All the cords and plugs and ornamental flotsam to be removed, boxed, tagged and taped up. I hate turning things upside down. I’ve been avoiding this for years. This will almost certainly mean an interruption in the HE flow…but maybe not.

Rand Paul is going to be the 2016 Republican Presidential nominee. It has suddenly occured to me that his older GenX credentials (born in January 1963) and non-interventionist inclinations (linked to his general Libertarian views) may find support among Millenials. My younger son Dylan was a fan of his father, Ron Paul, in 2004. There also may be a general feeling of resentment or instinctual dislike of Hillary Clinton, who of course represents the entrenched swagger of the boomer establishment. I still don’t think this will prevent her election, which will be favored by a great majority of women (including the rural idiots) for the symbolic element alone. But she won’t win in a walk. Update: If HRC would just have a little eye-bag and neck-wattle work done, she’d be all the stronger.

I’ve been watching Cosmos: A Space Time Odyssey — not on Fox (against my faith) but on the National Geographic channel. (The first episode is downloadable on the site.) Hosted by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson; exec produced by Seth McFarlane. At least once a year everyone needs to lie down on a blanket on a clear night and just stare at the stars. (Straight is better but ripped is okay.) How many civilizations have flourished and died out there? Cultures and worlds that created technological wonders and works of amazing art, and then perished due to natural cosmic forces or (like us) via self-destruction by poisoning their planet and gradually making life less and less sustainable? How many hundreds or thousands of civilizations similar to our own have gone through this process? You want an intelligent answer? Ask a right-wing Christian.

Today I noticed a pair of 2103 Fake Criterion Blurays covers from “rjwhite’s” Tumblr page. The Reflections In A Golden Eye art was submitted by Luke Y. Thompson. I’d like to see new Fake Criterion Bluray covers for the following films: John Flynn‘s The Outfit, Lamont Johnson‘s The Last American Hero, Don Siegel‘s Charley Varrick, Bob Rafelson‘s Stay Hungry, Peter Ustinov‘s Billy Budd, Sidney Lumet‘s Prince of the City, George Stevens‘ Gunga Din. Who will take up the charge?

It’s 2 pm in Tijuana and all’s well. I’m stuck in border traffic but blue skies are smilin’. Low 80s, dry, almost hot. Beach weather. March is bustin’ out all over. This is why people like Southern California. Nothin’ but blue skies…wowee. I wish Phillip Seymour Hoffman was here to share this. Really.