“While griping about unappreciative bosses has been rampant among William Morris underlings, one of Endeavor’s founding partners, Tom Strickler, has cultivated internal good will with gifts as elaborate as reconstructive jaw surgery for one employee and an Argentine polo pony for another.” — from a 3.11.09 N.Y. Times story about a possible Endeavor-William Morris Agency merger, reported by Brooks Barnes and Michael Cieply.

Only saps believe you can somehow discern or predict the future. Because saps are especially afraid of what the future might bring, living as they do with a kind of suppressed undercurrent of anxiety. These are the same intrepid souls who believe in numerology, the biblical End of Days and the general theology of supermarket reading. It follows that Knowing (Summit, 3.20) is made for them — i.e., folks who are under-educated and eat the wrong foods and have problematic taste in clothing.

And yet — I have to admit this — I want to see Knowing because the effects look fairly decent. Despite the myriad assurances provided by this trailer that it will make me groan.

Warning lights are flashing due to the hand of director Alex Proyas, whom I was wary of after Dark City and whom I will never trust again after sitting through I, Robot.

The money footage starts at 3:50: “Are you proud of the economic record of George W. Bush?”

Question: What film is the above line of dialogue — the full line is “Pound them, Charlie…pound them” — taken from?

“DreamWorks’ big-budget bet, Monsters vs. Aliens, has faced one hurdle after another — including a whipping from the blogosphere over its extravagant Superbowl ad in January,” The Wrap‘s Carolyn Guardina reports. “But now comes the worst news yet: Fewer than half of the theaters that were supposed to be ready for digital 3D projection will be ready by the movie’s release on March 27.

“DreamWorks announced a year ago that it expected 5,000 theaters to be 3D-ready for a wide 3D opening of Monsters. But the economic recession has further delayed the already-long-delayed conversion of movie theaters to digital projection.

Expectations have been revised downward.”

Universal will open Sam Raimi‘s latest film, which is about the joy of making heartless bank officers suffer, on May 29th. Alison Lohman‘s character is apparently less heartless than her boss.

The best part of Watchmen, hands down. Posted today by JoBlo.com

Among the out -of-competition 2009 Tribeca Film Festival highlights (for me)…

* Don McKay (director-writer: Jake Goldberger). Thomas Haden Church as a guy returning to his hometown at the bidding of his cancer-stricken ex-girlfriend (Elisabeth Shue). Costarring Melissa Leo.

* An Englishman in New York,” (director, Richard Laxton — screenwriter, Brian Fillis). John Hurt revisiting real-life writer, actor, and gay icon Quentin Crisp. Focusing on the 72-year-old star’s move to New York in 1981, and the fallout from a reckless comment about the burgeoning AIDS epidemic.Costarring Cynthia Nixon, Jonathan Tucker, Swoosie Kurtz.

* Serious Moonlight (director, Cheryl Hines — screenwriter, Adrienne Shelly) Type A attorney Louise (Meg Ryan) busts her husband (Timothy Hutton) for cheating with a younger hottie (Kristen Bell), duct-tapes him to a toilet. In the indie realm, Hutton is the absolute go-to guy for playing dissolute womanizers.

* In the Loop (director, Armando Iannucci — screenwriters, Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Tony Roche and Iannucci). My pre-Sundance review says it all.

Whenever a guy goes postal, nobody who knew him in any capacity ever cops to noticing anything askew about his manner. (Has a woman ever gone on a shooting rampage?) The guy is invariably described as nice, quiet, considerate, well liked, etc. Because admitting to having noticed even the faintest sense of turbulence or unrest in a shooter-to-be would mean that the observer might be regarded as being very slightly responsible for the carnage. It’s safer to say you detected nothing.

Speaking as a full-fledged workaholic, I’m guilty of all of these bad workaholic habits except for the drinking and the fast food. Okay, I still go to Burger King now and then. But since living in NYC I’ve done a lot more walking

Holllywood & Fine‘s Marshall Fine has creamed twice over Mary Stuart Masterson‘s The Cake Eaters, two days in a row — yesterday and today. It opens Friday in an assortment of indiewood theatres.

It’s my fault that I haven’t gotten to this. I was invited by a PMK/HBH publicist pal in Los Angeles, but I didn’t try to reach the local NYC rep and she hasn’t tried to reach me. Hello, Lauren Auslander! In fact, hello to all the NYC publicists whom I’m still having to chase in order to go to screenings.

“Everyone knows that this time of year is a dumping ground for movies,” Fine writes. “Theaters are awash in genre garbage and remakes or big-budget eye-candy whose producers or studios lack the stones to face the summer blockbuster competition (or, to put a kinder spin on it, they have the savvy to exploit a slack period in the schedule).

“Why does a spirited, intelligent little film like The Cake Eaters have to beg for a theatrical release? It opens in New York and a few other places this Friday and platforms from there – after more than two years of trying to find distribution (and shortly before its DVD release).

“Directed by Mary Stuart Masterson (yes, that Mary Stuart Masterson) from a script by Jayce Bartok (who plays a lead role in the film), The Cake Eaters is a drama with a thread of romantic comedy that deals with grief, regret and hope. Set in a small town in upstate New York, it’s a charming anachronism — a movie in which people actually talk to each other, minus such modern accessories as cell phones or e-mail.

“Though grief is the subtext of the film, life is the subject. Masterson draws beautifully modulated performances from her strong ensemble cast, particularly Kristen Stewart and Aaron Stanford as the unsure but indomitable young lovers.

“Stewart blends delicate emotions with strength of character in a subtle performance that focuses on the character’s wicked wit, without ignoring her physical infirmity. Stanford makes [his character] both inexperienced and sincere, a guy who is pleasantly surprised to discover that a girl’s expectations of him match the ones he has for himself but has kept hidden for too long.

“The Cake Eaters balances sweetness and sadness without ever leaning too heavily on either quality. It’s unfortunate that the market seems to willfully ignore nicely etched little films such as this one – and a feat to be celebrated that this one has broken through for a theatrical run at last.”

I have to be honest and admit that I didn’t try as hard as I could to see this film because I don’t care for the title. I don’t like cake as a dessert or a metaphor. I’ve always shied away from using “you can have your cake and eat it too.” Which doesn’t quite synchronize with Marie Antoinette‘s infamous “let them eat cake” line. I could let every cake manifestation go and not miss any of them for the rest of my life. That said, I’d like to see the film.