Why Are Divorces So Expensive?

Answer: Because they’re worth it.

On the subject of tweeners and young teens behaving in a way that has struck some as impossibly entitled and impudent and fickle…”a whole field of fucking brats”, Adam Carolla says the following at the 11:15 mark:

“We used to have a heirarchy. For instance, when I grew up I was scared shitless of every one of my friends’ dads. You would never…I was in my house a year and a half ago, and one of my daughters’ friends roller-skated past me in my house…can you imagine roller-skating in a friend’s house when we were nine or ten years old?….you go into the kitchen now, just randomly walking into your kitchen and one of your kid’s friends will just be making waffles…when we were kids, on the very off chance that we might go out to dinner?…no one wanted our input as to what restaurant we’re going to…now the conversation starts with “we’re going out to the restaurant” and the kid says “I don’t want Mexican food”…when we were growing up it was “we’re going out to dinner, we’re fucking lucky, zip it.

“The key component [today] is ‘you fucked up the kids, you fucked up your own life, and you’ve fucked up society because [somebody] will have to hire one of these little fuckers when they turn 22.'”

“And For Every Hung-Up Person…”

Remember hang-ups? In the ’60s accusing a person of being hung up was a fairly serious put-down. Hang-ups were a key definer of middle-class neurotics — people who were into guilt and maintaining appearances, who embraced shallow concerns and inhibitions — people who believed in scrubbing kitchen floors and mowing their lawns on Saturdays, who did’t get high or drop acid or listen to Bob Dylan or attend the Newport Folk Festival.

I’m not saying that people who did get high and wear buckskin fringe jackets and listened to Dylan and so on weren’t hung-up, but the cliche prevailed — strictly embraced middle-class values and lifestyles and prohibitions were seen as a kind of prison.

I’m asking because I haven’t heard anyone accuse anyone else of being hung-up for decades. Excluding Republicans and conservative psychos like Lauren Boebert, are people hung-up about anything these days?

I think they are, yeah.

The first Urban Dictionary definition of “hung-up” reads as follows: “When all you think about is one person, and you can’t stop thinking about them.” The fourth definition: “Stereotyped, repetitive and seemingly purposeless movements. Compulsive fascination with and performance of repetitive, mechanical tasks, such as assembling and disassembling, collecting, or sorting household objects.”

Here’s another definition: “When you’re locked into processing the world according to (I’m sorry to mention this but it just came to me) woke doctrine….when all you can think about is whether this or that person or activity or political position is on the right side (i.e., yours)…when delivering or creating social justice for oppressed or less fortunate people and/or punishing their oppressors is pretty much everything.”

Note to Jagger: It’s Pronounced Meh-LAHN

If you’re Italian it’s pronounced Mee-LAHN-oh, but English speakers pronounced it Meh-LAHN. (The LAHN rhyming with “on” or the opposite of off.) Regretfully, Mick Jagger pronounces it Meh-LAN — LAN rhyming with sand or Anne or tin can. Rich-as-Cresus Jagger has been running with the elites for over 55 years. He knows exactly how to correctly pronounce Milan, but from a personal perspective it’s more important for Jagger to sound like an unpretentious middle-class British kid from Dartford, Kent, or to sound authentically himself.

Reminder

As it happens two of 2022’s finest films so far, Chloe Okuno‘s Watcher and Audrey Diwan‘s Happening, begin streaming tomorrow — Tuesday, 6.21. Both directed by women, of course, and both, coincidentally or not, are IFC releases. These films are X factor — they stick to your ribs. Plus Watcher is a ’60s or ’70s Roman Polanski film.

Read more

Fix It Up

Don’t make your lede too long or complex or overloaded — just lay it down simple, short and smooth.

Here’s an example of an accurate if annoying lede, written by Patch‘s Richard Kaufman and posted on Saturday, 6.18:

Here’s the HE rewrite, tapped out in no time:

After 34 years in business in downtown Greenwich, Greco’s Bella Cucina is closing up shop for good.

The family-owned eatery (“Yo, Frankie!”) was killed by the lingering effects of the pandemic (nearby offices closed, more people working from home) along with inflation and whatnot.

A GoFundMe page stated that “the lunchtime business has evaporated, [and that] Express Pizza has incurred debts beyond the scope of what can be repaid to keep its doors open.”

Located in the fabled Chickahominy neighborhood, the restaurant was formally or tongue-twistingly known as Express Pizza Grecco‘s Bella Cucina. But that’s all gone now, and many of us are the poorer for it.

Victimhood Made Delightful

I can’t find the link, but Cosmopolitan critic Liz Smith did apparently write a few lines about Martin Scorsese‘s Taxi Driver, and one of them said that Jodie Foster‘s performance as Iris, a 12 year-old Lower East Side prostitute, was “delightful.”

Other delightful performances in this vein: Leonardo DiCaprio in This Boy’s Life, Elijah Wood and Joseph Mazzello in Radio Flyer, Sissy Spacek in Carrie, Gabourey Sidibe in Precious. Margot Robbie in I, Tonya, Ashton Sanders and Alex Hibbert in Moonlight….the list goes on.

“Lightyear” Underperforms…Spiraling Downward

I can’t fully convey…I can’t even half-convey what a pleasure it’s been to watch Lightyear (a) piss off traditional fans (Chris Evans…what happened to Tim Allen?), (b) inspire a Toronto theatre manager to post a warning, (b) trigger homophobes with a harmless lesbian kiss and then (d) open to a lousy $51 million domestica good $25 if not $30 million short of what handicappers had projected. And I never even saw the damn thing…that’s the best part!

Sensible, Practical Hillary Throws Wokester Flag Under Bus

Hillary Clinton is right — Democrats pulling back from the wokester precipice (i.e., siding with Hannah Gadsby over Dave Chappelle on trans issues, equity over merit, demonizing whites and especially white males over allegedly embedded racism, allowing fringe sociopaths to rip off CVS stores without fear of punishment) and embracing pragmatic, humanist, voterfriendly approaches to this and that problem would, in a fair world, help quite a lot.

Unrelated but true: If Bill Maher were to launch a candidacy for the Presidency based on his New Rules positions on this and that hot-button issue (starting with the view that a healthy percentage of Twitter-dependent Millennials are entitled, overly sensitive little shits) he would eat Trump alive.

Hillary has spoken too late, of course. Having gone totally mental and shat the bed by identifying themselves with lunatic wokester thinking, the Democrats are going to suffer grievously in the November midterms. I wish it were otherwise.

“All The President’s Men” Was A Bitch and a Battle

Washington Post film critic and scholar Ann Hornaday has written a fascinating, exactingly researched, justifiably lengthy piece about the making of All The President’s Men. It includes three video summaries (pasted below).

The article is not very kind to the efforts of ATPM‘s late screenwriter William Goldman, but Hornaday did a ton of research (including in-depth discussions with producer-star Robert Redford and Bob Woodward, co-author of the same-titled book that the film was based upon), and this is how the chips fell.

The title is “How All the President’s Men Went From Buddy Flick to Masterpiece.”

The invisible subtitle is “How Everyone Involved In This 1976 Film Except William Goldman Saved It From Goldman’s Initial Drafts, Which Were On The Glossy and Rapscallion Side and Less Than Genuine.”

This despite Hornaday acknowledging that Goldman’s earliest drafts of All the President’s Men “included most of the key beats that defined the early stages of the Watergate investigation.”

Goldman, whom I came to know moderately well over a few lunches at Cafe Boloud in the early to mid Obama years, reported in his Adventures in the Screen Trade account that he had done much if not most of the heavy lifting.

During a meeting with Bob Woodward, Goldman “had asked him to list ‘the crucial events — not the most dramatic but the essentials — that enabled the story eventually to be told,” Hornaday summarizes.

“When Woodward named them — the break-in, the arraignment, his combative collaboration with Bernstein, his late-night meetings with confidential source Deep Throat in an Arlington parking garage, his and Bernstein’s interviews with such key figures as Hugh Sloan, and their work together on an article about a $25,000 check written to CREEP Midwest finance chairman Kenneth Dahlberg — Goldman, according to his account, looked at what he’d written and saw that he’d included every one.”

A key passage in Hornaday’s piece: “The journey of All the President’s Men from mediocrity to triumph tells an alternately sobering and inspiring truth about movies: The great ones are a function of the countless mistakes that didn’t get made — the myriad bad calls, lapses in taste and bouts of bad luck that encase every production like a block of heavy, unyielding stone.”

As noted, the piece presents a case that many if not most of the “mistakes” were Goldman’s. If Goldman is reading this piece in heaven, he’s most likely howling and shaking his fist and punching his refrigerator door.

Hornaday: “This is the story of how producer-star Robert Redford and director Alan Pakula, and the cast and crew they assembled, bullied Goldman’s flawed but structurally brilliant script into art. It’s the story of a perfect movie and imperfect history, a cautionary tale whose lessons — about impunity, abuse of power and intimidation of the press — have taken on new urgency nearly 50 years after its release.

“It’s the story of how what was intended as a small-bore black-and-white character study featuring unknown actors became one of the finest films of the 20th century, one that marked the end of a cinematic era, changed journalism forever and — for better or worse — became the fractal through which we’ve come to understand the dizzyingly complicated saga known as Watergate.”

Read more

“Daddy-oh“ Is Dated Term

Later today and for the very first time, HE will attend a Juneteenth celebration. Fairfield County-styled, I should add…food, music, exurban vibes. And down in the wilds of New Jersey, Jett Wells (along with Cait) will celebrate his very first Father’s Day as Sutton savors the aged-wine experience of being seven-months old — born seven months and two days ago, to be precise.

Jett Wells during hike in the area of Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland — almost exactly ten years ago.

One year ago, more or less…