Trump's mistake was getting tested. If he hadn't been tested, he'd be fine now.

— Bob Cesca (@bobcesca_go) October 2, 2020

The Witches (HBO Max, 10.22) ) is an oppressively broad, diabolically unsubtle “fantasy comedy” based on Roald Dahl‘s 1983 novel of the same name. (In 2010 I visited Dahl’s home in Great Missenden, England — a magnificent spread but the room in which Dahl wrote was in a small, vaguely musty cottage behind the main house.) Directed by Robert Zemeckis, and co-written by Zemeckis, Guillermo del Toro and Kenya Barris. Starring Anne Hathaway, Octavia Spencer, Stanley Tucci and Jahzir Kadeem Bruno (i.e., the kid who gets turned into a mouse). Chris Rock narrates.

Joe Biden has tested negative for the coronavirus. The Democratic presidential nominee and his wife were tested earlier today. Dr. Kevin O’Connor soon after released the negative results in a statement issued by the Biden campaign. Biden was on the debate stage with Trump for more than 90 minutes earlier in the week. “I’m happy to report that Jill and I have tested negative for COVID,” Biden tweeted “Thanks to everyone for your messages of concern. I hope this serves as a reminder — wear a mask, keep social distance, wash your hands.”

“Jill and I send our thoughts to President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump for a swift recovery,” he added. “We will continue to pray for the health and safety of the president and his family.”

Joe & Jill’s well-being aside, the second presidential debate — set for Thursday, 10.15 at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts in Miami — will almost certainly be cancelled. Unless, of course, Trump isn’t feeling too badly down the road and they want to do it on Zoom.

Trump is reportedly experiencing “mild” symptoms. Given the knee-jerk lying instinct of Trump and his handlers, it’s at least possible that he’s faring worse than they’re letting on.

NBC News excerpt: “The next five to 10 days will be critical for President Donald Trump after his positive test for Covid-19. Doctors warn the illness can suddenly worsen after several days of relatively mild symptoms. That’s particularly true for patients with two of the biggest risk factors for serious and even life-threatening complications of the disease: obesity and older age. Trump, who is 74 and has a body mass index of 30.5, qualifying him as obese, fits both criteria.

“I’m worried,” Dr. Vin Gupta, a pulmonologist and an affiliate assistant professor at UW Medicine in Seattle, said Friday on NBC’s Today. “I’ve cared for several patients with that double whammy. If they become sick, if they are symptomatic, they can escalate quickly to needing ICU care.”

Hollywood Elsewhere joins the world in extending best wishes to Rick Moranis after he was randomly attacked in New York City early yesterday morning. Seriously, I’m glad Moranis wasn’t hurt too badly. The 67 year-old actor was slugged and shoved by a youngish dude of color wearing a black “I Love NY” sweatshirt. Moranis reportedly went to a hospital for observation before reporting the assault at a local police precinct.

…wasn’t such a bad guy after all. A long time ago I regarded him as an uptight, scowling, hippie-hating asshole but now…

Donald and Melania will be okay, but this will obviously eliminate his campaigning for the foreseeable future. Didn’t he campaign in New Jersey today? A 14-day quarantine, but how long will a full recovery take? How long did it take Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson to get through the rough parts? I’m asking.

Don’t tell me he’ll get a sympathy surge out of this. Because my initial thought after the news broke was “could this be a ploy?” Trump has been semi-blase and certainly cavalier about the Covid threat all along. Oh, the irony.

Pres. Trump mocks Joe Biden on the issue of masks: “I don’t wear masks like him. Every time you see him, he’s got a mask. He could be speaking 200 feet away and he shows up with the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.” https://t.co/5Bl4Ob3O2t #Debates2020 pic.twitter.com/OA3ffVcrkg

— ABC News (@ABC) September 30, 2020

Watch: This is Trump's full answer to @SeanHannity about Hope Hicks' diagnosis at 9:49pm last night. "She did test positive," he said. "I just heard about this." pic.twitter.com/vDCW8tN8yf

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) October 2, 2020

The instant I watched that Melania Trump video about encouraging healthy, drug-free lives and honoring National Substance Use Prevention Month, I was asking myself “what’s with the curiously provocative camera angle?” and more to the point “where have I seen this before?”

Usually PSA spots are delivered full face and straight to the camera, so the sultry side-angle thing felt like a distraction.

Then it hit me — that famous 1967 Noxzema shaving cream ad with Swedish model Gunilla Knutson (“Take it off, take it all off”).

On one hand Melania’s ad is a straightforward pitch about social responsibility and saving kids from drug-dependent lives, but on another it’s about her glistening blonde highlights, prominent cheekbones and feigned Mata Hari allure. Why work against the sober messaging with a fetching “look at me” attitude?

Alternate title: “You can’t go home again.” 2nd alternate title: “If Sacha Baron Cohen makes Mike Pence look like a clueless stooge, all is forgiven.”

The Commission on Presidential Debates “should cancel the coming Trump-Biden debates. Let Vice President Mike Pence and Senator Kamala Harris have their matchup next Wednesday night, then let Americans move on. They have all the information they need to decide whether they want another four years of Trump.

“Giving him more time in front of a national television audience isn’t a route to clarity. Because his performance on Tuesday night proved that he will use these showcases to subvert democracy. In what sane country should that be abetted? By what sound reasoning should that be endorsed?”

“Trump continues to take a wrecking ball to vital American institutions and sacred American traditions. He did it on Tuesday night to the process by which we choose the person who will shape the country’s future and lead us into it. To give him a stage that grand again is to commit civic suicide.” — from a 10.1 N.Y. Times column by Frank Bruni, titled “For the Sake of Democracy, Cancel the Trump-Biden Debates.”

“The national interest — actually, national security — demands that the other two scheduled mortifications, fraudulently advertised as presidential debates, should be canceled: When a nation makes itself pathetic, the response of enemy nations is not sympathy.” — from a 9.30 Washington Post column by George Will, titled “For The Sake of the Country, Cancel the Remaining Debates.”

The below clips are similar. Both are about three or more cops interrogating a person they suspect of being a murderer. In police parlance they “like” the suspect. In both scenes the person of interest (a sleekly attractive blonde novelist, a bald factory worker in work boots and overalls) conveys a certain indifference to the currents of suspicion that the cops are clearly swimming in.

The difference is that Paul Verhoeven‘s direction in Basic Instinct tries to nudge or poke you into reacting — it’s unsubtle and “manipulative” (whip pans, extreme close-ups) and therefore less effective — while David Fincher‘s direction of the Zodiac interrogation scene is extremely delicate and almost imperceptible — you can feel the creepy tingly but without Fincher making any overt moves. It’s the difference between conventional and masterful.

In this time of terror, you can’t trust Sundance-approved, virtue-signalling critics on Lee Isaac Chung‘s Minari (A24, sometime in late October or early November). Well, you can but I wouldn’t. I’ve actually heard it’s pretty good, but for an honest take you have to wait for people like me to weigh in. Or seasoned critics like The Hollywood Reporter‘s Todd McCarthy.

Minari “is a modest pic but very human and accessible, and quite distinctively so in comparison to the vast majority of high-concept and/or violent movies rolling out today. The charming low-key humor and the actors are all winning without being coy or cutesy. Director writer Lee Isaac Chung has a light touch and a predilection for dry mirth, both of which serve him well here. Some significant new adversity — the last thing this family needs — provides an anchor for the third-act climax.” — from McCarthy’s 1.27.20 review.