HE to Christianity Today‘s Mark Galli: The train left the station a long time ago, pal. Evangelical Christians have removed the entire Christian community from any ethical conversation about anything, for at least the next thousand years. Christian hucksters have been standing with rightwing corporate swine for decades now, starting with Reagan. Nobody’s listening. Yeshua will never stop throwing up. Over and out.

From Galli’s 12.19 editorial: “We have reserved judgment on Mr. Trump for years now. Some have criticized us for our reserve. But when it comes to condemning the behavior of another, patient charity must come first. So we have done our best to give evangelical Trump supporters their due, to try to understand their point of view, to see the prudential nature of so many political decisions they have made regarding Mr. Trump.

“To use an old cliché, it’s time to call a spade a spade, to say that no matter how many hands we win in this political poker game, we are playing with a stacked deck of gross immorality and ethical incompetence. And just when we think it’s time to push all our chips to the center of the table, that’s when the whole game will come crashing down. It will crash down on the reputation of evangelical religion and on the world’s understanding of the gospel. And it will come crashing down on a nation of men and women whose welfare is also our concern.”

I’m presuming this Cats sing-along wasn’t spontaneous. A group of devotees (and likely Kevin T. Porter pallies) almost certainly planned and rehearsed before the fact. Probably a less-than-1% chance that it happened otherwise. But if it did, it means something. Either way HE applauds the spirit of those who took part, even if they’re compulsive exhibitionists.

Significant info: Kevin Porter is a comedian, writer, podcast producer and, let’s just face it, A GOOD TIME.
He is the host and producer of the Good Christian Fun podcast. HE feels obliged to point out that in the current environment there is no such thing as “good Christian fun.” There is also the distinct possibility that given his religious leanings, Kevin may be a Trump supporter.

We got on our feet to sing and dance to Mr. Mistofelees like it was the last day of camp pic.twitter.com/4houe2jBIP

— Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter) December 20, 2019

Everyone is hot to see The Many Saints of Newark (Warner Bros., 9.25.20), otherwise known as the Sopranos prequel. It won’t open for another nine months, but it’s been research-screened a couple of times. It’s no run-of-the-mill crime drama, and I’m guessing it’ll play at one or more of the three major fall film festivals (Venice, Telluride, Toronto) of 2020. The Toronto gathering ends on 9.20 — Many Saints opens five days later.

[Click through to full story on HE-plus]

He was unsurpassed. He completely owns the Way We Were finale with Barbara Streisand. She obviously holds her end up, but 90% of the emotion is in Redford eyes, and in the masterful way he underplays his hand. Another actor with a little less discipline could have ruined it, but Redford knew; ditto director Sydney Pollack. As it is Marvin Hamlisch‘s music almost ruins it; just a bit more volume and a few more violins and the current would have dissipated.

HE is seeking four scripts: (1) The Many Saints of Newark by David Chase and Lawrence Konner; (2) Nightmare Alley by Guillermo Del Toro and Kim Morgan; (3) News of The World by Luke Davies; and (4) The Witches by Robert Zemeckis. Thanks.

Industry pally to HE: “When is HE going to post a think-piece about Kumail Nanjiani‘s much-buzzed-about body transformation for Marvel’s Eternals? As the literal geiger counter of Hollywood’s weight gain/loss neuroses, I feel you have a moral obligation to weigh in here. I myself scarcely know what to think about these things until I know where HE stands.”

HE to industry pally: “HE is more than impressed by Kumail’s transformation. I’m actually finding this photo a little scary. I mean, you could almost cast him as some kind of fierce-as-fuck guy in a mercenary film. The last time I spoke with Kumail he looked like his usual self. When and if he does stand-up at the Comedy Store will people be able to laugh? There’s something deeply unfunny about those pecs. Nonetheless, HE approves.”

Nanjiani: “I never thought I’d be one of those people who would post a thirsty shirtless photo, but I’ve worked way too hard for way too long.”

14 days hence begins the third decade of the 21st Century — the 2020s. Herewith my list of the top 15 films of the last decade (starting in 2010) as well as my year-by-year tallies, working backwards — 84 films in all:

TOP FIFTEEN OF THE LAST DECADE: Manchester By The Sea, A Separation, The Social Network, Zero Dark Thirty, The Irishman, Call Me By Your Name, Son of Saul, The Wolf of Wall Street, Leviathan, Joker, The Square, Moneyball, The Lighthouse, 12 Years A Slave, Dunkirk.

Best of 2019: The Irishman, Joker, Les Miserables, The Lighthouse, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, 1917, Marriage Story, Bombshell, Parasite, The Farewell (10).

Best of 2018: Roma, Green Book, First Reformed, Cold War, Hereditary, Capernaum, Vice, Happy As Lazzaro, Filmworker, First Man, Widows, Sicario — Day of the Soldado. (12).

Best of 2017: Call Me By Your Name, Dunkirk, Lady Bird, The Square, War For The Planet of the Apes, mother!, The Florida Project. (7)

Best of 2016: Manchester By The Sea, A Bigger Splash, La La Land, The Witch, Eye in the Sky, The Confirmation, The Invitation. (6)

Best of 2015: Spotlight, The Revenant; Mad Max: Fury Road; Beasts of No Nation; Love & Mercy, Son of Saul; Brooklyn; Carol, Everest, Ant-Man; The Big Short. (10)

Best of 2014: Birdman, Citizen Four, Leviathan, Gone Girl, Boyhood, Locke, Wild Tales. (7)

Best of 2013: The Wolf of Wall Street, 12 Years A Slave, Inside Llewyn Davis, Her, Dallas Buyers Club, Before Midnight, The Past, Frances Ha (8).

Best of 2012: Zero Dark Thirty, Silver Linings Playbook, Amour, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Barbara, The Grey, Moonrise Kingdom (7).

Best of 2011 (ditto): A Separation, Moneyball, Drive, Contagion, X-Men: First Class, Attack the Block (6).

Best of 2010: The Social Network, The Fighter, Black Swan, Inside Job, Let Me In, A Prophet, Animal Kingdom, Rabbit Hole, The Tillman Story, Winter’s Bone (10).

Originally posted on 8.3.18, or 16 months ago: Cleaning rain gutters is one of the most miserable chores I’ve ever had to do, especially if you live in the Northeast and you’re scooping out that sickening, ice-cold mush on a windy, freeezing day any time between late November and mid-April. While standing on an extension or step ladder, of course, with your cheeks turning red from the cold and your teeth chattering as you mutter profanities and generally curse God, the earth, your life, your father (the ogre who made you do this) and definitely the trees for dumping their leaves in the first place.

And of course, you always have peel back the frozen chicken-wire mesh that’s been attached to the gutters to keep the leaves out, which is to say “not really.” You also have to dump the frozen glop into a bucket or plastic garbage bag, which means you have to climb down and dump the contents every five or ten minutes. The only way your hands can stand the cold is to wear two sets of gloves — plastic dishwashing gloves covered by winter or all-weather work gloves. I’m getting angry all over again just thinking about this. This was my life in my mid teens. Awful. Here I am decades later and still bitching about it.

Hollywood Elsewhere’s view is that (a) the Rotten Tomatoes/Metacritic guys are being overly harsh about the shortcomings of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and (b) that despite the overly accelerated first half J.J. Abrams‘ film is at the very least “okay,” as a critic friend remarked two days ago.

As the first commercial screenings are beginning on the east coast as we speak (3 pm Pacific), HE is soliciting any and all reactions.

HE’s latest ranking of all Star Wars features, as of 12.19.19:

1. The Empire Strikes Back (far and away the best, a world-class film noir, a keeper now and forever)
2. A New Hope (very good opener, excellent Alec Guinness, not as gripping as Empire)
3. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
4. The Last Jedi (excellent cinematography, didn’t care for the Luke fake-out finale or the casino sequence)
5. The Rise of Skywalker (if you can get past that first hour)
6. Return of the Jedi (HE will always hate the Ewoks and especially that Endor-celebration-around-a-bonfire ending)
7. The Force Awakens
8. Revenge of the Sith
9. Attack of the Clones
10. The Phantom Menace
11. Solo: A Star Wars Story

From recent DVD Beaver review of Criterion’s Holiday Bluray (out 1.7.20): “Criterion has transferred George Cukor‘s Holiday to Bluray via a ‘new 4K digital restoration‘. In a word, it’s all about ‘grain’. The well-layered contrast also helps the image with more pure black levels and the 1.37:1 framing shows more information (mostly on the side edges). It look so rich and film-like, [and] devoid of speckles or marks. A beautiful 1080 appearance.”

“Grainstorm Horror,” posted on 3.9.18:

I wasn’t the only one who said Cats doesn’t absolutely blow chunks. My words — “It’s not altogether awful…some of it is okay…I didn’t completely hate it” — were semi-echoed by a line from Us Weekly‘s Mara Reinstein, to wit: “I realize ‘It’s not that bad!’ won’t be used in the Cats advertising campaign, but it’s worth noting that the peculiar musical does indeed have merit.”

The San Francisco Chronicle‘s G. Allen Johnson hopped on the same train when he said that the otherwise “bland” musical “has its moments of catnip.”

To the best of my recollection, the first widely-repeated endorsement along these lines happened 24 years ago with Kevin Costner‘s (and to a lesser extent Kevin Reynolds‘) Waterworld. Just after an earlybird junket Joe Leydon was quoted by a USA Today reporter as saying “it doesn’t suck.”

After sitting through Joss Whedon‘s The Avengers seven and two-thirds years ago I wrote that while it’s “corporate CG piss in a gleaming silver bucket”, I didn’t exactly hate it, and that I agreed with MCN’s David Poland that “it doesn’t suck.” Key declaration: “I looked at my watch only once, and that says something, I guess.”

Three years ago I wrote that Ang Lee‘s Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk wasn’t a good film “in an audaciously original, blow-your-socks-off way” but that it “gradually sinks in and delivers.” Which sounded like an amiable cousin of “it doesn’t blow…it’s half okay.”

11 and 1/2 years ago I wrote that I “didn’t hate” Peter Segal and Steve Carell‘s Get Smart remake. “I was expecting it to be awful and it’s not,” I explained. “It is, however, a little dreary to sit through. Okay, more than a little. But despite the depressing atmosphere of surrender to corporate attitude and authorship in every corner of it, Carell‘s Maxwell Smart is half-appealing. He half-creates his own guy and half-channels Don Adams.”

What other films have been…well, given a semblance of a pass in this fashion?

Incidentally: “Not that bad” isn’t the same as “not half bad,” which is mostly a kind of compliment. HE definition: “Not without an issue or two but more than I expected and a better-than-average film overall.” Examples of “not half bad” films — American Made, Stan and Ollie, Hope Springs, Deepwater Horizon, Darth by Darthwest.

Ivan Drago, Hardcore Henry and Save Farris have been purged. I’m deeply sick of the Breitbart influence within HE comment threads, especially in the wake of yesterday’s historic vote.

As I wrote this morning, too much of the post-impeachment conversation seems to be “mostly rightwing horseshit about how the Beast is even stronger and is even more likely to be re-elected because the ranks of loyalists have grown. I’m sorry but HE comments are striking me as way too Hannity and Carlson-like, and it’s making me nauseous. It’s time to cull the herd. I’m especially sick of Save Farris. I’m sick of his ugly rightie narrative. It stinks up the joint.”