Flame-Haired Bride

I’ve been aware of The Bride of Frankenstein‘s ginger-red hair (worn by Elsa Lanchester) for quite a few years. Which goes, of course, with the light-green tint of the skin of Boris Karloff‘s monster.

“Munich” Semi-Apology

Steven Spielberg‘s Munich opened a little more than 16 years ago. I’ve just re-read my initial review, posted on 12.8.05, and my reaction was somewhere between thumbs-up, mezzo-mezzo and thumbs-down. I was certainly respectful. But I was really bothered by that way-too-chummy Time magazine cover that trumpeted Munich as Spielberg’s masterpiece — the all-but-consecrated winner of the Best Picture race, the equivalent of tablets chiseled out of Mount Sinai, the very definition of “the one.”

And so I pretty much embarked on a determined detractor campaign to “get” Munich, not because I didn’t admire it as far as it went (although I felt that the third act was underwhelming) but because Time magazine had to be defied and defeated.

I re-watched Munich a few nights ago, and I have to admit that it plays better now. Taken out of the context of Oscar campaigns and whatnot and just absorbed on its own terms, it’s a fascinating thriller — not perfect but mesmerizing — that basically says “murder is bad karma, no matter who’s killing whom and for what reasons.” So I’m stating for the record that I’ve warmed up to it somewhat, and I’m a little bit sorry that I wasn’t more fair-minded when it first came out.

Munich Shortfall,” posted on 12.8.05: I’m not trying to be a hard-ass for the sake of being a hard-ass, but I can’t get on the Oscar boat for Steven Spielberg’s Munich (Universal, 12.23).

It’s a pretty good movie, but the Best Picture hoo-hah seems a tiny bit forced given what this film truly is in the light of day. If you ask me those prognosticators who’ve already said “this is it!” are conning themselves.

Directed by Spielberg and written (for the most part) by Tony Kushner and Eric Roth, Munich is a longish (160 minutes), thoughtful drama about Israel’s revenge campaign against the perpetrators of the 1972 Munich Olympic Games killings of Israeli atheletes. It’s strong, meaningful and well-intended…but I don’t get all the jumping up and down. I’m talking about the proclamations about it being the new Best Picture front-runner. It’s in the running, I guess, but it sure as shit is no shoo-in.

I spoke last night to a guy who’ll be voting this Saturday with the L.A. Film Critics, and we had both just seen Munich and were talking about the Best Picture Oscar contest, and he said, “I don’t know if [Munich] will even get nominated.”

He may have been overly dismissive, okay, but any seasoned film guy making such a statement should give you a hint about what’s going on here.

I felt the euphoric current at the DGA theatre last year after seeing Million Dollar Baby — I was levitating — but nothing like this kicked in last night inside theatre #5 at the AMC Century City.

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Context Matters Not

A little less than 37 years ago Senator Joe Biden said the n-word twice in a public Congressional forum.

It happened during a June 1985 hearing about the nomination of William Reynolds to be Associate Attorney General. The Biden utterances begin at the 39-second mark. He was quoting a political adversary as a way of deploring their racial attitudes; context was obviously crucial in this instance. But if a U.S. Senator were to do the same today he/she would have to resign by sundown.

This is not an n-word thing. I’ve posted this because it’s quite striking how much sharper, younger and more vigorous Biden’s voice sounds…listen to him. Today his voice sounds soft and halting and grandfatherly with the coughing and whatnot. There’s no substitute for the aliveness of youth, or in this instance the larynx and voice box of a 40-year-old.

Biden will turn 80 on 11.27.22.

Watch Out For That Armie Hammer!

Apparently Kenneth Branagh‘s Death on the Nile (20th Century, 2.11) is (a) fairly mediocre but (b) not bad enough to be regarded as an albatross around Branagh’s neck. It won’t get in the way of his Best Picture and Best Director Oscar campaigns, I mean.

As we speak Nile has a Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 51% and 71%, respectively. Despite an industry friend passing along buzz that Nile “definitely won’t help him” and despite the film opening three days after the announcement of Oscar noms, it’s not a Norbit thang.

Another friend believes that the presence of Armie Hammer is a major determining factor in the negative reviews.

Death on the Nile “is getting a huge downgrade because of Hammer,” he says. “You realize how powerful that is, right? You have to disapprove of him in it, and the obvious way to do that (especially since he’s quite good in it) is to flip off the movie.

“What the critic lemmings basically want to say is: Do not see this. Because if you do see it you are helping that rapist. I mean, imagine if this is a huge hit. That helps the rapist. That hurts The Agenda. This is how all these fuck-shit totalitarian Twitter dweebs think now.”

I haven’t seen Nile myself, but I’m still a little hung up on the synthetic look of it. In the trailers damn near everything looks digitized. The Nile itself, the Egyptian locations, the luxury porn vibe of the S.S. Karnak steamer. Who’s been to Egypt and cruised down the Nile? I haven’t been but there’s a sense of real life, the fragrant aroma of earth and river banks and vegetation and exotic foods that a traveller to Egypt always absorbs, and which seems anathema to the Branagh aesthetic.

Why does it seem that the ‘78 version with Peter Ustinov was at least half-organically composed with glimpses of actual Nile locations while the Branagh version, which the IMDB reports was partly shot in Egypt, seems to be almost all digitally composed?

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Oscar Noms Tomorrow

Early tomorrow morning our suspicions and predictions about what the none-too-hip, stay-at-home-except-for-groceries, life-has-mostly-possed-them-by Academy members are preferring as far as the allegedly finest film accomplishments of 2021 are concerned.

I can attempt to describe the pit-of-hell depression I’m feeling about what will happen tomorrow, but I’m not sure I can do it justice.

All I know right now is the bottom line, which is that Hollywood Elsewhere has staked out three hills that I’m ready to die on or die for…three contenders that will have to be at least nominated for the Academy to maintain at least a smidgen of respect in my eyes.

Hill #1 is Parallel MothersPenelope Cruz for Best Actress — apparently a dicey situation but who knows? Hill #2 is Spider-Man: No Way Home for Best Picturean apparent no-go despite the obviously necessary hosannah response to a single film having kept exhibition alive in late ’21 plus Anne Thompson saying last weekend that she’s heard that Academy members are having trouble coming up with ten nominations…God! Hill #3 is King Richard‘s Will Smith for Best Actor — a safe bet. (Smith will probably win, in fact.)

It would be outrageous, of course, if West Side Story fails to nab a Best Picture nomination, but it probably will.

Everyone is depressed about the Oscar noms…about life, the pandemic, wokesters working overtime to ensure that the Republicans will take the House and possibly the Senate next November, inflation, everything. Barring a huge surprise or two, the only thing anyone will be talking about tomorrow are the snubs. HE lives for the snubs.

Cutting to the chase, here are Sasha Stone’s predictions plus my own comments in the form of an NGE classification (i.e., Not Good Enough). What that really means is that an Oscar contender should ideally represent an exceptional or transcendent or highly combustible effort. If the effort in question is just respectable or professional or moderately approvable, then it’s not good enough for an Oscar nom. Another NGE factor is a contender who is very popular or even locked in for political reasons. (You know who I mean.) If a contender doesn’t have an NGE, it’s more or less okay in my book,

Best Picture

Belfast (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/SAG/DGA/BAFTA pic) / no comment
The Power of the Dog (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/DGA/BAFTA pic)
Licorice Pizza (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/DGA/BAFTA pic) / NGE, although it’s okay
Dune (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/DGA/BAFTA pic) / NGE
West Side Story (Globes+/Critics Choice/PGA/DGA)
Don’t Look Up (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/SAG/BAFTA pic)
King Richard (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/SAG)
CODA (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA/SAG) / NGE
tick, tick…BOOM! (Globes/Critics Choice/PGA)
Being the Ricardos (PGA)
Alternates: Nightmare Alley (Critics Choice), Drive My Car, House of Gucci.

Best Director

Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog (DGA)
Kenneth Branagh, Belfast (DGA)
Paul Thomas Anderson, Licorice Pizza (DGA)
Denis Villenuve, Dune (DGA) / NGE
Steven Spielberg, West Side Story (DGA)
Alternates: Guillermo del Toro, Nightmare Alley; Adam McKay, Don’t Look Up; Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car

Best Actress

Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos / NGE
Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman, The Lost Daughter
Lady Gaga, House of Gucci / NGE
Jennifer Hudson, Respect
Alternates: Rachel Zegler, West Side Story; Tessa Thompson, Passing; Kristen Stewart, Spencer.

Best Actor

Will Smith, King Richard
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog
Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth / NGE
Andrew Garfield, tick, tick… BOOM! / NGE
Javier Bardem, Being the Ricardos
Alternates: Leonardo DiCaprio, Don’t Look Up; Peter Dinklage, Cyrano

Best Supporting Actress

Ariana DeBose, West Side Story / NGE
Caitriona Balfe, Belfast
Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog / NGE
Aunjanue Ellis, King RichardSHOULD WIN!!
Cate Blanchett, Nightmare Alley / NGE
Alternates: Rita Moreno, West Side Story; Marlee Matlin, CODA; Nina Arianda, Being the Ricardos; Ann Dowd, Mass; Haley Bennett, Cyrano; Martha Plimpton, Mass.

Best Supporting Actor

Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog / NGE
Troy Kotsur, CODA / NGE
Ciaran Hinds, Belfast
Jared Leto, House of Gucci…too broad, Al Pacino was better.
Bradley Cooper, Licorice Pizza
Alts: Ben Affleck, The Tender Bar / NGE; Mark Rylance, Don’t Look Up / NGE; Mike Faist, West Side StorySHOULD WIN!!; Jonah Hill, Don’t Look Up; J.K. Simmons, Being the Ricardos.

Again, HE’s top films of 2021:

1. King Richard
2. Parallel Mothers
3. West Side Story
4. Spider-Man: No Way Home
5. The Worst Person in the World
6. A Hero (Amazon)
7. Riders of Justice
8. No Time To Die
9. The Beatles: Get Back
10. Zola
11. Cyrano
12. Licorice Pizza
13. The Card Counter
14. In The Heights
15. The Last Duel

Old-Fashioned Lefties

Once upon a time progressive liberals were on the side of brave hearts, humanitarian beliefs, freedom of expression, the first stirrings of post-war beatnik culture, the Marlon Brando acting revolution, Jack Daniels and ginger ale, live and let live, and not intimidating people with terror and sometimes destroying their careers. Back then the Republicans were bringing the terror, not the left. So don’t try to goad me into believing that if Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, John Huston, Gene Kelly, Jane Wyatt, Richard Conte, Sterling Hayden, Danny Kaye, Paul Henreid, Shepperd Strudwick and the other good soldiers of 1947 were suddenly time-catapulted into 2021…don’t tell me they’d be arm-in-arm with the wokesters.

Lina Wertmuller’s “All Screwed Up”

Nobody’s watched very much, ongoing Covid pall, no Golden Globes, delayed Critics Choice awards, no sense of box-office momentum, no sense of in-person screenings and in-person conversations, “after a while the Zoom stuff gets really old,” the crashing and burning of Kristen Stewart, the pro-Lady Gaga mafia, etc.

Anne Thompson #1: “Nobody likes Spencer, let’s be honest…critics liked it but the guilds don’t like it, it’s an art film and an acquired taste.”

Anne Thompson #2: “Steven Spielberg and West Side Story are fragile, at best.”

Anne Thompson #3: “You could say Lady Gaga is the [Best Actress] front-runner, but I refuse to believe that. In interviews she tries to convince you that she’s giving you the real Gaga, but she’s totally fake.”

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Hammond + Three Spideys (10 Days Old)

The Academy members, it seems, are too blind and obstinate to understand that Spider-Man: No Way Home deserves a serious “thank you” for levitating theatrical, not just in terms of revenues but from the buoyant spirit of the film and the overall joy factor…if they don’t understand that a single Best Picture nomination (one out of ten!) is the least they can do to celebrate the fact that S-M: NWH delivered a spiritual booster shot that lifted all boats…if they’re too old and out of touch to at least recognize what this film managed to do and thereby give it a Best Picture nomination in tribute, then you know what? To hell with them. The Oscars are an island unto themselves and whatever happens, happens.

That said, Sony did itself no favors by delaying streaming opportunities to industry voters, largely over fear of piracy.

The Awkwafina “Blaccent” Thing

Not too long ago the NAACP Image Award guys nominated Awkwafina for an “Outstanding Character Voice-Over Performance,” partly for her doing a Black-speak thing. In formal professorial terms, Awkwafina’s crime is/was appropriating or making fun of African American Vernacular English, or AAVE**.

After being slapped around by humorless wokester scolds (particular Women of Color Unite founder Cheryl Bedford) for using a Blaccent for comic effect, Awkwafine has basically said ‘y’all can go fuck yourselves, and Twitter can blow me.”

Awkwafina: “Well, I’ll see you in a few years, Twitter — per my therapist. To my fans, thank you for continuing to love and support someone who wishes they could be a better person for you. I apologize if I ever fell short, in anything I did. You’re in my heart always.

“[But] I am retiring from the ingrown toenail that is Twitter. Not retiring from anything else, even if I wanted to, and I didn’t drunkenly hit someone with a shoehorn and now escaping as a fugitive. Also am available on all other socials that don’t tell you to kill yourself!”

Twitter is a sewer.

** formerly known as Ebonics

I Have A Problem

…with people who pronounce Oregon as “Awrriginn.” It’s pronounced “OHRuhgone.” How could anyone possibly look at the spelling of that state and think “oh, yeah, sure…Awrriginn.” You’d have to be a bit of a cracker to say it that way.