That’s It For “Blonde”…Over and Out

Following a recent blowoff by the Venice Film Festival and in the wake of generally negative feedback by others in the elite film festival community, Andrew Dominik‘s Blonde, a long-gestating adaptation of Joyce Carol Oates’ take on the life of Marilyn Monroe, has been drop-kicked by Netflix into a 2022 release date.

Recent scuttlebutt is that Dominik and Netflix have been fighting over final cut, but who cares at this stage? We’re talking Edmond O’Brien in D.O.A. here.

It wasn’t that long ago that Blonde looked like a major career booster for Ana de Armas, who plays Monroe. Now she’s a sparrow with a bruise and a broken wing. Tough luck. She’s also in the completed but not yet released No Time to Die, the endlessly Covid-delayed Bond film, and Adrien Lyne‘s Deep Water.

She’s also costarring in Anthony and Joe Russo‘s forthcoming The Gray Man> (Netflix).

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Mexican Liberation

Earlier today I posted a paywalled report about the compassionate West Hollywood pet clinics who are over-charging pet owners for…well, everything. Fees for a simple neutering procedure for Anya, our three-year-old female Siamese, will run between $700 and $800 and as high as $1000, depending on how greedy and opportunistic the clinics are.

I’ve just booked Anya for a spaying operation on Thursday, 8.12, at the highly regarded Clinica Veterinaria Albeitar in Rosaraito Beach — in by 10 am, out by 3 or 4 pm. I’m told that the tab will be around $100, give or take. No, that’s not a typo.

There are many Los Angeles pet lovers who will read this and instantly conclude that the Rosarito clinic is some kind of substandard operation and that we’re probably taking a risk by bringing Anya down there, etc. You know what that is? Racism, pure and simple. Just like those HE commenters who posted side-eye responses when I mentioned having dental work at the Baja Oral Center in Tijuana.

Odenkirk “Heart Incident”

Update: A spokesperson for Better Call Saul‘s Bob Odenkirk has confirmed that the 58 year-old actor is “in stable condition after experiencing a “heart-related incident” last night. Good to hear, but what’s the difference between a heart attack and a “heart-related incident”?

Earlier: Hollywood Elsewhere wants Bob Odenkirk to recover from whatever it was that floored him last night. Everyone wants him well. The 58 year-old actor “collapsed” (as in “fell to the ground”) while shooting a Better Call Saul episode in Alberquerque, New Mexico.

Bryan Cranston posted on Instagram that everyone should send “positive thoughts and prayers,” etc.

May I ask something? Odenkirk is a major public figure, well known and well loved, so why isn’t someone close to him putting out a statement about his condition? That would be the considerate thing as far as his fans are concerned, no?

Speculation is that this was either a stroke or a heart attack, and it could may been caused by…oh, who knows? Odenkirk put himself through a rigorous fitness regime a couple of years ago for Nobody, but that was then.

People suffering a heart attack don’t generally “collapse”. They usually complain of chest pains and shortness of breath and an aching left arm as they sit down and get out their cell phone to call a doctor.

Halitosis Treatment For Dogs, Cats

A little while ago I was on hold with with TLC (Tender Loving Care), a nearby WeHo pet clinic. I’ve dealt with these people before, and I think it’s fair to describe them, no offense, as bloodsucking opportunists looking to emotionally exploit pet owners who don’t have kids but have cash to spare. That’s a roundabout way of saying that their prices are ridiculous.

I asked for an estimate to spay Anya, our female Siamese, and they said it could cost between $600 and $2000 [hint: the final fee will be closer to the latter estimate than the former], plus $300 for a pre-operative blood work examination. ($300 just to draw blood and determine her general health?)

TLC is now offering dental and gum treatment for dogs and cats who have bad breath. “Is your pet’s bad breath sending a bad message?” the recorded message says. “They could be suffering from gum disease, which tends to occur after a pet reaches age 3. TLC offers professional dental and gum cleaning,” etc. Any guesses what they’re charging to cure halitosis? $300 or $400 minimum, is my presumption.

It is estimated that our main pet clinic, Laurel Pet Hospital, will charge $700 and change, all in.

Finding a low-cost spaying operation is hell. Hours and hours online and on the phone, etc. Maybe we can save money by taking Anya to a reputable Mexican pet clinic in Tijuana or Rosarito. Update: I’ve made a neutering appointment with a reputable animal clinic Rosarito Beach for Thursday, 8.12. The cost will be $80 to $100.

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Obvious Best Actor Nom for Will Smith

Great achievement in almost any field is always about the forsaking of easy, casual pleasures, and is always the result of fire in the belly, serious devotion, relentless discipline, hardcore thinking, early to bed and early to rise, etc. And if you don’t have those rigors in your own mind and system, you damn well need someone who (a) cares, (b) believes in you and (c) will crack the whip.

King Richard (Warner Bros., 11.19) is the fact-based story of how Richard Williams pushed and shaped his daughters, Venus and Serena Williams, into becoming tennis superstars. The trailer for suggests straight, focused naturalism, which is what everyone wants anyway.

You know Smith will be Best Actor nominated — locked.

The director is Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell). The script is by Zach Baylin.

Burberry Centaur

Yes, Adam Driver‘s Burberry Hero ad (runs on beach, swims with a horse, becomes centaur) is “out there”, but it somehow works. Partly because it’s beautifully shot, cut and scored, but also because Driver’s features were described in certain corners (not in this space!) as horse-like before this ad came to be. It makes you wonder if the ad happened because of this association. In which case it’s a fairly bold statement.

Driver could be saying that “some people (mean people) have said I have a face like a horse. Well, here I am selling Burberry cologne in an ad in which I become a human steed.”

Driver and the people who threw this ad together have my respect.

Again: I’ve never slagged Driver or even mentioned the term “horseface” in the same breath. All I’m doing here is reacting to what “they” have said.

Marvel’s “The Invisibles”

Most of us are attuned only to life’s tangibles — food, shelter, warmth, money, clothing, pets, guns, cars, shoes, homes, furniture, trees, hills, mountains, oceans, swimming pools, sailboats. Things we can see, touch, smell, eat, wear and dive into.

But others, fortunately, are also mindful and in some cases stirred or motivated by invisible things — thoughts, feelings, spirits, ghosts, dreams, intuitions, morality, melancholy, premonitions, memories.

Any filmmaker can focus on the tangibles. Most of them do, in fact. Movies that are strictly about tangibles are “mulch” movies, a term that I defined earlier this month. Mulch is the source of our shared Hollywood ennui…the muck at the bottom of the dried-up lake…the disease that keeps on infecting…the gas that fills the room.

Except for a smattering of elite, award-season stand-alones (or festival movies) and select forthcoming streamers like HBO’s Scenes From A Marriage (Bergman remake), Hollywood makes almost nothing but mulch these days. The streaming + re-emerging feature realm is flooded with mulch…empty, inane, meaningless, spirit-less, jizz-whiz “content” crapola that nobody wants to see or cares about, but they’re made anyway because the zone-outs and knuckle-draggers need stuff to watch.

But only serious directors are able to convey or dramatize the presence of invisible things. The finest films are actually concerned with a mixture of tangible things, which is natural and inevitable in any corner of life, but are driven by the invisibles.

And the best of the best almost never articulate in so many words what the invisible currents or particles are about. They hint at them or nudge audiences into considering or meditating upon their presence, but they never say “these are the things that really matter.” The great films always say “you figure it out…you put it together.”

The more a film is focused upon or at least mindful of the invisibles, the richer and more accomplished it is. And the more moving, of course,

Blessed Event

From a 7.14.21 heyuguys review of Valdimar Jóhannsson‘s supernatural Lamb, by Joan Titmarsh:

“A childless couple living on a sheep farm, Maria (Noomi Rapace) and Ingvar (Himir Snær Guðnason), deliver a lamb that they decide to take into their home and raise as their own child.

“When Maria performs a terrible act in order to protect her ersatz motherhood, it is clear that she has stirred up the wrath of something ancient, and in her taking the lamb from its mother there is something from the natural == or supernatural — world that will come to seek retribution. Rather than the humans signalling this, it is the animals, most notably the trusty sheepdog, who pick up on the looming danger.

“This is an intelligent and hugely entertaining film that quietly creates a bucolic horror and has much of the ancient fairy tale about it. It deals with important questions such as motherhood, family and happiness, as well as the lengths people will go to when they see any of those things slipping from their grasp. It is a film about grief, but it is full of fun. It joins Rams in that hallowed pantheon of Icelandic films about sheep, a genre that is rapidly turning out to be one of my favorites.”

HE confession: I didn’t care for Rams at all. I felt stuck on that damp farm with those bearded brothers and all that wool, and the smell of it.

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Kinzinger’s Moment

“Some have constructed a counter-narrative to discredit this process on the grounds that we didn’t launch a similar investigation into the urban riots and looting that occured last summer [following the death of George Floyd]. I was called on to serve during the summer riots as an air national guardsman. I condemn the riots and destruction of property that resulted. But not once [during those disturbances] did I ever feel that the future of self-governance was threatened like I did on January 6th. There is a difference between breaking the law and rejecting the rule of law.” — Rep. Adam Kinzinger, speaking this morning during committee hearings on the 1.6 Capitol assault.

Comment #1: Kinzinger is a decent, thoughtful, principled human being who has no future in the sociopathic bumblefuck cult that calls itself the Republican party.

Comment #2: There were some suppressed tears this morning during testimony from the security guys. Kinzinger also let go with a few. There’s no question in my mind that vivid recollections of the pain and trauma of January 6th fueled this morning’s emotion, but the sniffles are one more reason why Kinzinger has no future as a Republican. Rightwing males don’t relate to politial PDE**. Just saying.

Comment #3: Having observed rioting, looting and the burning of a building during one of the Floyd disturbances in West Hollywood, I can testify first-hand that a lot of people helped themselves to free footwear that day.

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“Poker’s All About Waiting”

“…and then something happens.”

My first impression is that Paul Schrader‘s The Card Counter (Focus Features, 9.10) is almost certainly going to prove a better (punchier, more interesting) poker movie than The Cincinnati Kid. How it stands up to Rounders…we’ll see. Obviously the return of a familiar Schrader archetype — God’s lonely man. “Hello, old friend…it’s really good to see you once again.”

Tattoo: “I trust my life to providence…I trust my soul to grace.”

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