Apted Peaked in The ’80s

Regrets and condolences on the passing of director Michael Apted, 79.

I know I’m expected to hail the long-running Up documentary series as Apted’s greatest achievement. It may well be, but my favorite Apted film has always been Coal Miner’s Daughter (’80). Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones are perfect in that biopic; ditto Levon Helm as Loretta Lynn‘s coal-miner daddy.

Apted’s hot streak was from the early ’70s to late ’80s, and the highlights were Stardust, Agatha, Coal Miner’s Daughter, Continental Divide (arguably John Belushi‘s best film), Gorky Park and Gorillas in the Mist (which I wouldn”t mind seeing again). I can’t remember a single, stand-out element from Apted’s Bond film, The World Is Not Enough (’99).

Woke Attractiveness Calculus

We’re all familiar with the progressive attitude that ignores the health implications of obesity and insists that positive self-defining and social acceptance of all shapes and sizes is far more important than losing weight or at least staving off morbid obesity.

We all get this, but declaring on the cover of Cosmopolitan that obesity is “healthy” is not only untrue but…I’m sorry but the word that comes to mind is “ludicrous”. Nobody wants anyone to be fat-shamed or suffer emotional distress due to being stigmatized, but we all know that obesity ushers in all kinds of health risks (diabetes, heart disease, certain cancers).

And yet the forces of progressive positivity and correct-speak, currently represented by Cosmopolitan editors, are proclaiming otherwise.

The irony is that body-shaming is alive and well if a formerly overweight famous person loses weight. Consider the negative reaction that Adele got last spring when she shed all that BMI.

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You Cheated, You Lied

Nobody ever cats around on his or her partner in an upfront, honest way. They never do it with permission or pre-affair clearances. The horse always comes before the cart. Nobody ever says to his or her partner “I think we need to be apart for a while and decide what we really want” and then falls for someone else. 99% of the time the hunka chunka comes first, and then the cuckold smells it and accusations ensue, etc.

In a 1.8.21 People piece about the recent romantic triangle between the now-together Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles and Wilde’s cuckolded partner Jason Sudekis, Alexia Fernández and Melody Chiu report an old familiar tale…same as it ever was.

It all happened during the shooting of Wilde’s Don’t Worry, Darling, which Wikipedia describes as a “psychological horror film” set in the 1950s.

Excerpt: “While an insider told People [last] November that Wilde and Sudekis had split ‘at the beginning of the year‘ after seven years together, another source with knowledge of the situation refutes the claim, saying ‘Olivia and Jason were very much together as recently as [last October].”

Wilde fired the film’s lead actor Shia Labeouf (poor behavior, clashes with crew members) and replaced him with Styles. An affair between Styles and Wilde ignited fairly quickly once shooting began. The usual hints and signals were generated, and Sudekis gradually got wise.

People again: “Jason [explains] that the timeline that Olivia and Harry would like people to believe—that she and Jason split ages ago, long before she became involved with Harry — is simply not accurate,” says [a] source.

“She began filming Don’t Worry Darling in [the early fall], and by October, Sudekis began to get the impression that she wanted out. By November, they’d announced their split.”

And that, says the source, “is how quickly it happened, and none of it happened until she began filming with Harry.”

Any relationship counselor will tell you that infidelity is sometimes as much of a symptom of relationship troubles as a cause of them.

Then again sometimes a married actor will simply conclude that a certain costar is a hotter, more desirable partner than the person he/she is married to, as Brad Pitt apparently decided when he began cheating on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie.

Or when Elizabeth Taylor dumped Eddie Fisher when she fell for Richard Burton during the making of Cleopatra.

Or when Meg Ryan betrayed Dennis Quaid when she and Russell Crowe had an affair during the filming of Proof of Life.

Any way you slice it there’s no neat and tidy way to break up with your spouse after you’ve catted around behind their back. Especially with People and Hollywood Elsewhere writing about the blow-by-blow. Always messy, always hurts.

“Staten Island” Bonding

Better late than never: HE conveys a hearty high-five to Deadline‘s Todd McCarthy‘s for his decision to include Judd Apatow‘s King of Staten Island in his recent “Top Ten Films of 2020” piece (12.31.20).

Myself, McCarthy, Chris Willman, a few others…obviously a small fraternity. But my opinion isn’t an “opinion” — I knew right away during my initial viewing seven months ago that Apatow’s film was a few cuts above the norm. I’m not saying “this is what I think” — I’m saying “you may or may not not have embraced or bonded with this film, but it’s quite excellent either way, and I know this with absolute certainty…a sagely written and performed portrait of a somewhat coarse underclass culture…a funny but serious film that in some ways reminded me of those early ’60s British kitchen sink dramas.”

Excerpt from McCarthy’s 6.12.20 review: “Written by Apatow along with Pete Davidson and Dave Sirus, KOSI has the solid lived-in feel of a working class community…they’re rude, they’re slobs, they’re layabouts, they’re no-accounts and they all speak in clichés as if they’ve learned their entire vocabularies from watching TV. It’s a film full of characters who have to say ‘I’m sorry’ a lot. Bottom line, though — they’re all quite recognizably and vibrantly human.”

An excerpt from my 6.8.20 review, “The Staten Island Funnies“:

Weekend Downshift Aftermath

Many of the lunatic bumblefucks who spearheaded Wednesday’s assault on the Capitol building are being arrested as we speak. Prosecute these delusional cretins to the fullest extent of the law. Break their lives, make it hurt, stifle their agency, etc. God, listen to me — I sound like a #MeToo-er venting about Roman Polanski.


Obviously poor quality — been searching around for a sharper, larger file

Bus stop ad in Washington, D.C., apparently snapped by CNN’s Jim Acosta.

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HE “Parasite” Animus Finds Ally

6 pm update: Scott Roxborough’s original THR article described Parasite as “odd“. The words “downright weird” were also used to describe offbeat international films. Both terms were recently deep-sixed by THR editors.

Earlier: For 15 or 16 months Hollywood Elsewhere has stood alone in claiming that Bong Joon-ho‘s Parasite is half very good and half looney-tunes. The latter portion starts around the halfway mark when the drunken con-artist family lets the maid in during the rainstorm. I’ve said this 36 or 37 times.

You think it’s fun or easy standing up to the woke Oscar mob? Well, this is a moment of rejoicing because someone, finally, has stood up and called Parasite an “odd” film also.

THR‘s Scott Roxborough: “Parasite has blown open the doors of the international feature category, long thought to be the purview of ‘serious message movies,’ to the experimental and the strange.

“If a movie about a family of South Korean con artists — one that shifts in tone among thriller, horror and straight-out farce — can win the highfalutin’ international feature Oscar, than even the weirdest overseas films have a shot this awards season.”

Posted on 7.23.20: “Parasite obviously won because a sufficient number of voters agreed with the blunt-social-assessment aspect (life is unfair for the poor) plus the wokesters loved the idea of choosing a well-made film by a filmmaker of color, and one that didn’t fit the usual definition of a Best Picture winner. Plus Bong Joon-ho worked the town like a locomotive.

“The first half of Parasite is very good (it goes off the rails when they let the fired maid in during the rainstorm) but it won because of identity (i.e., non-white) politics. Don’t argue, don’t lie, that’s why.”

Earlier version of THR headline and subhead:

Current, changed (i.e., tamer) headline and subhead:

Discovery

There are three or four versions of John Lennon‘s “Across The Universe” out there, but this version — messy and rehearsal-ish but full of brash spirit — is easily the best I’ve ever heard, and largely for two reasons. One, Paul McCartney singing harmony in the main verses, and two, Lennon’s improvisational asides. (Example: “Nothing’s gonna change my world” followed by John’s “I wish it fuckin’ would!”). Recorded at Twickenham during the Get Back sessions. It’s been sitting on YouTube for two and 3/4 years. Sorry!

Impeachment: The Sequel

N.Y. Post‘s Ebony Bowden: “An articles of impeachment accusing President Trump of ‘inciting an insurrection‘ have been drafted by House Democrats in the wake of the deadly Capitol siege and will be formally introduced on Monday, according to reports.

“The document, which has over 150 sponsors, accuses Trump of violating his Constitutional duty by encouraging a crowd of his supporters to fight the vote to certify Joe Biden’s Electoral College victory.

“In all of this, President Trump gravely endangered the security of the United States government. He threatened the integrity of the democratic system, interfered with the peaceful transfer of power, and imperiled a coordinate branch of government,” the document reads.

It is the second time that Congress has moved to impeach Trump. He was impeached by acquitted at trial by the Senate last year after he was accused of improperly pressuring the Ukrainian government to investigate Joe Biden and son Hunter Biden.

No president has ever been impeached twice.”

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Greatest Hot Streaks

Let’s change this question to “which director had the hottest run of any length…who enjoyed the greatest cavalcade of grand-slam films, whether it was four or six or even ten?”

The answer in this instance would be Howard Hawks and his nine-year, nine-film run of one bull’s-eye after another…it began in 1938 with Bringing Up Baby and ended in 1946 with Red River (even if that classic western wasn’t released until ’48).

The rundown: Bringing Up Baby (’38), Only Angels Have Wings (’39), His Girl Friday (’40), Sergeant York (’41), Ball of Fire (’41), Air Force (’43), To Have and Have Not (’45), The Big Sleep (’45 and ’46) and Red River (shot in ’46, released in ’48).

If you want to be strict and keep it to four, I would say that Stanley Kubrick‘s Paths of Glory (’57), Spartacus (’60), Lolita (’62) and Dr. Strangelove (’64) was an extraordinary run.

No Sympathy Whatsoever

It would appear that Ashli Babbitt, who was killed two days ago while trying to climb through a smashed Capitol Hill window during the big riot…it would seem she overdid the zeal. Babbitt was a rightwing fanatic who bought Trump’s stolen-election bullshit hook, line and sinker. In the sense of “those who live by the sword, die by the sword,” Babbitt died unluckily but, in a sense, appropriately. By her own hand, I mean.

I certainly have no sympathy for her — a married resident of Ocean Beach, an ex-Air Force veteran and the CEO of Fowler’s Poll Service & Supply, an allegedly struggling outfit based in Spring Valley. Babbitt died a true believer in rightwing horseshit. She may have been a decent person to know and work with, but she walked right in and reaped the whirlwind, and now she sleeps with the fishes. Hollywood Elsewhere sheds not a tear.

Babbitt had a complex history and had coped with her share of detours and speedbumps. She wasn’t always a Trump nutbag, for example. She was reportedly an Obama supporter before switching her loyalty to Trump in ’16 because she hated Hillary Clinton so much. Plus she was possessive and had a temper. And her corresponding intensity led to embracing unambiguous attitudes and beliefs.

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